My Boys: Beneath the Surface
by Jordan202
Summary: Setting five years after the end of My Boys: Better Days, this multi chapter focus on how Amelia's relationship with the Shepherds has developed over the years, how it affects the dynamics of her marriage to Owen and the repercussions that her trouble past has in her life up to this moment. Omelia all the way.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, this is the new multi chapter I've been working on and posting on my tumblr. I'll post the chapters here, one at a day, to allow everyone to catch up. Thanks for the support, fb is always much appreciated!

 **My Boys – Beneath the Surface: Chapter 1**

"I really don't know how to thank you enough."

At the sound of the words, Amelia's mother in law turned around with a sympathetic smile on her face.

"There is no need to thank me, I've told you that," The elderly woman added with a gentle nod, genuinely happy for being able to help. A couple of hours before, Amelia had called her to ask if Evelyn had any idea how to cook Spanish and Moroccan food and Owen's mother had immediately stepped in to help, driving over to her son's house to give the neurosurgeon a hand with the cooking.

The school to which Amelia's kids went to was having an international fair to celebrate cultural diversity and much to Amelia's dismay each student in the class of her eight year old twins was in charge of taking local food from a few selected countries.

"If I can't cook our own food," Amelia said with a teasing smile, "how do they expect me to cook stuff I've never even tried before?"

"Oh, but you'll love this dish," Evelyn lightheartedly added, mixing the ingredients next to the stove. She was cooking a Spanish tortilla that consisted basically of eggs and potatoes and seemed very easy to serve. "Owen used to ask me to cook this when he was younger. I am pretty sure we're going to have to save some for him," Evelyn turned her head around and looked at her daughter in law with mischief in her eyes, "But don't worry, I'm making more than enough."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks your son eats like he's been starved for the past year," Amelia said with good humor. "And by the looks of it, it seems like my sons are just the same."

Evelyn shared a heartfelt laughter with her daughter in law, clearly enjoying herself. The two women spent the rest of the afternoon in the kitchen, casually talking while Amelia washed the dishes and Evelyn took care of all the cooking.

.

Owen strode around the supermarket, watching as a very excited Megan had a hard time staying still inside the shopping cart.

"Meg, sit down, you're going to hurt yourself," Owen said gently but firmly.

The five year old did as told, clearing space among the groceries to finally sit.

"Dad, can we get ice cream for dessert today?" She turned her neck around and used her best puppy eyes to convince him. "But not that strawberry kind that Lucas likes, I want the one he likes the least."

"Why?" Owen frowned while stopping at the cereal section to load the cart.

"Because," Megan replied with serene logic. "If you get one he likes he'll just end up eating everything like he always does."

Owen let out a loud chuckle and promised Megan they would get enough of whichever flavor she chose. Reaching out for his pocket, he picked up a sheet he'd left hung on the refrigerator earlier that morning. When Owen had said he planned to go out grocery shopping, Amelia had mentioned their twin sons had a school assignment that required some special ingredients and coincidentally, Thomas had asked for a special kind of glue to finish his art project.

As a way of simplifying things, Owen had scribbled "Write down what you need" on a piece of white paper and hung it on the fridge with magnets. Thomas had written his request on it and Owen could also distinguish Lucas' scrawl asking for sweets and the cereal brand of his preference. The twins had followed adding the list of ingredients their teacher had given them for the recipes they were supposed to take and at last, Owen noticed his wife's elegant calligraphy as he read the two final words on the list that made him involuntarily laugh: _Your smile_.

Her unexpected and adorable addition brought a large smile to Owen's face. Unable to contain a chuckle, he finished getting the items on the list with the always cheerful help of his daughter, hurrying to get back home in time to start preparing dinner.

.

Much to Owen's surprise, he found his mother already with dinner halfway prepared the minute he made it home.

"Didn't you say we were going to make _paella_?" Owen protested, lifting the bag with the ingredients he'd just gone out to get at the same time he stared at his wife questioningly.

"Why make it hard when you can make it so simple?" Evelyn intervened, justifying their change of traditional Spanish dish.

"Your mom said it, not me," Amelia looked at Owen with a semi apologetic smile, but the amusement was clear in her eyes. It was obvious she agreed with Evelyn.

"I thought _you_ were doing all the cooking for Danny and Robbie's school thing?" Owen raised both eyebrows as he turned around to face her before putting the fresh ingredients in the fridge.

"Yeah, right," Amelia's disbelief was clear on her face as she let out a loud chuckle, clearly having fun. She had pretty much no talent in the kitchen and other than fixing a quick meal of semi cooked pasta or scrambling eggs, there wasn't much she would venture herself with.

Owen playfully nodded his head in disapproval and carried the leftover bags to the pantry to stock the rest of the groceries. From a distance, he could hear the excited chatter coming from the kitchen and it only got louder when Megan joined in, excitedly stepping in when her grandmother asked if she wanted to help with the cooking. Something his daughter did made the two women crack up and Owen distinguished the sound of Amelia's musical laughter vibrating in the air.

The trauma surgeon couldn't contain a smile once he realized that the three most important women of his life were obviously enjoying each other's company. Over a decade before, when he'd married Amelia, it didn't take her long to develop a close relationship with his mother. Years later, she had also come to perform a surgery that saved Evelyn's life, tightening the bond between the two. The fact that Megan had been born that same week had only helped to bring the two women together and include the little girl in their special attachment.

Owen knew that his wife didn't have a close relationship with her family and that they didn't see each other much. He had always been close to his parents, developing an ever closer relationship to his mother and sister after his father had passed away. And then for a while, it had been just him and Evelyn. Owen regretted the years he'd spent neglecting his mother after being so damaged by the traumas in the war but even without meaning to, Amelia had helped him regain proximity with his mother.

Right after he'd married her, she and Evelyn had hit it off pretty quickly and in his mom, Amelia found a very caring and affectionate mother figure. When their first son was born, Evelyn had been of great help caring for the baby and the routine repeated itself every time they added a new member to the family or when the kids were on school break. Owen had long ago stopped being surprised when he came home and found his wife in the company of his mother. Even though sometimes he would accuse them of ganging up on him, Owen never really meant it because he knew that deep down, it was lovely how close the two of them had become.

Strained relationships between mother in laws and wives were very cliché and he was happy that over the years Amelia had once again grown to organically break all the expectations, uniting with Evelyn over the common love they shared for Owen and the kids, instead of unconsciously competing over it. To Owen, it just proved how kindhearted and mature his wife had become. She openly admitted how grateful she was for getting the chance to build their own happy, functional family and he knew that not a day went by when Amelia took it for granted. Her attitude was not only inspiring, it was contaminating, and Owen felt just as lucky to be able to live the dream they'd been through so much to create.

Evelyn stayed for dinner and for the rest of the night, Owen kept busy helping out Thomas with his art project. Unlike his father, the eleven year old was very talented in detailed manual work and even though Thomas could skillfully craft the miniature house he was building with wood sticks, it really helped to have his father applying glue to the assemble as he did it.

"Remind me why you're building pillars?" Owen frowned, seeing the two story house take formation. Thomas' assignment was to craft a miniature house but unsurprisingly, his son hadn't settled for creating something simple, choosing to add more walls and a second pavement to the project instead.

"Because Kate said hers would be better but it won't," Thomas replied with an ambitious grin. "So I am building a model of our house to prove her wrong."

Owen chuckled and ruffled Tom's hair, playfully shaking his head in denial. Thomas had always been good friends with Jo and Alex's oldest child and they were always friendly fighting for the top of their class. As long as they kept the competitiveness on a healthy level, Owen thought it was a good thing the two kids stimulated each other to do better.

After another twenty minutes, Thomas finally decided they'd done enough and Owen could at last relax after a full day. He kissed Thomas goodnight and checked in on Lucas, who was already in his room watching television. Imagining the youngest kids were already in bed, Owen made his way to his bedroom, eager to finish the day in the company of his wife.

Even though Owen didn't regret it one bit, having five young kids was a handful of work and at times, he wondered how they were able to manage. Among school projects, homework, extracurricular and sports activities and leisure time, he didn't remember the last five minutes of peace he'd had. Things like reading the newspaper in the morning or sleeping in on weekends had become a luxury. Despite the full day, it was still relatively early so Owen smiled to himself, imagining that maybe that night, Amelia would be up for staying up late for a very good cause. He couldn't remember the last time they'd had more than ten minutes to themselves and the idea of being alone with her made Owen anxiously stride to their room.

He was already thinking of ways to slowly undress his wife when, after he crossed the door to his room, his dirty smile vanished the moment Owen saw his bed had been taken over.

Amelia was already lying there as he'd imagined, but she wasn't alone. Robbie peacefully slept lying between his mother's legs with his head resting on her lap, while Megan and Danny were still wide awake, watching a children's movie on the television.

"You guys are still up," Owen tried to control his disappointment.

Amelia's eyes met his and he could swear she smiled mischievously, as knowing exactly what was going on in her husband's head.

"Yes, but it's past their bedtime," Amelia informed the kids, playfully squeezing Megan's nose when the little girl protested.

"Can't we at least finish the movie, mom?" Danny bargained with adorable begging eyes.

"Nope," Amelia replied decisively. "It'll run for at least another hour and you guys have watched it way too many times," she added, gently shifting on the bed trying not to wake up Robbie. "Give me a kiss goodnight."

Danny promptly did as told, being closely followed by Megan. But when Amelia handed Robbie over to Owen, he heard the little girl asking:

"Mom, can I sleep here tonight?" She skillfully made her way beneath the covers. "Please?"

Amelia once again made eye contact with her husband and saw the shadow of physical pain behind the blue of his eyes. She wanted to laugh but tried her hardest not to.

"Can she, dad?" Amelia provoked looking up to her husband, knowing very well that even though Owen really wanted the kids in their beds as soon as possible, he would hardly say no to such a sweet request from his daughter.

"Yes," Owen dryly replied. When Megan excitedly celebrated, not for the first time he felt guilty for wishing that for at least twenty minutes a day, they got a break from the kids. Truth is, he loved them too much to even consider being without them.

The trauma surgeon took the twins to their rooms and tucked them in. Upon his return, Amelia and Megan were already lying beneath the covers with the lights off. Letting out a conformed sigh, Owen went to bed too, feeling his daughter's arms instantly wrapping around his neck, clinging to him as she stole all space available.

He closed his eyes and let out an amused sigh through his nose, involuntarily laughing at his own predicament. Very gently, Owen turned to his side and placed the little girl on the mattress, seeing she was already too deeply asleep to wake up with the movement.

"Do you want to take her to her room?" Amelia whispered in the dark.

Owen propped his head on his elbow and stared at his sleeping child. She looked like a little angel.

"Nah," He replied, pulling the covers to make sure she wasn't cold.

Even though it was dark, Amelia noticed the mesmerized look on her husband's face as he stared at their daughter. Megan really was adorable and just like her brothers, at the end of the day, gave all meaning to their lives.

"You want to have sex, don't you?" Amelia provoked her husband, muffling her laughter at his startled expression.

"Shhh!" Owen censored her for using the word, childishly covering Megan's ear with his hand.

"She is asleep," Amelia justified, leaning over their daughter to give the girl a kiss on the head. "She can't hear us."

"How do you know?" Owen defensively asked with a whisper.

Amelia playfully rolled her eyes and got comfortable on the bed, feeling her body relax from the intense day. Owen was already half asleep when he heard his wife's voice resonating in the room again.

"Don't you ever just look at the kids and wonder what the heck have we done?" Amelia asked with good humor, turning to her side to face her husband.

Owen furrowed his brown heavily, apparently offended with the question.

"Of course not!" He rejected her supposition completely.

Amelia couldn't help laughing at his outrage.

"You are way too politically correct," She teased him, reaching out her hand to grab his. "I am not saying this is a permanent feeling, it's not. I actually feel incredibly guilty when I think that so the thought only lasts for like, two milliseconds," She confessed. "But come on! You have to admit it… Don't you just wish they could be locked in Neverland for at least a little while so you could enjoy some quality, worry free moments from time to time?" Amelia asked with sincerity, making Owen lighten up. "I mean, when was the last time you didn't have to worry about absolutely anything?"

"Before I met you," Owen replied with mock pretense, clearly provoking her. Amelia's laughter warmed his heart and he gently rubbed his thumb on her open palm, enjoying her touch. "Nah, I am kidding… I actually can't remember what it's like not to worry. I mean," Owen turned his head to face her. "I thought worrying about my unit in the army would be the biggest responsibility of a lifetime, but then I became Chief of Surgery…" He added with a playful voice. "Then, _you_ happened," Owen teased her, seeing Amelia scowling at him in response. "And just when I thought my worrying days had reached its limit, I became a dad. It's like I can't catch a break."

"And they just kept coming, right?" Amelia thought out loud.

"The kids?"

"No, the reasons to worry."

"Oh," Owen thought about it for a second, realizing how right she was. "Absolutely."

"But yeah, the kids too, I guess," Amelia decided with a lighthearted tone, smiling when she met her husband's eyes in the darkness. The neurosurgeon stayed quiet for long seconds, apparently immersed in deep thought but soon after, Owen heard her voice again. "Do you ever think how it would be if we'd done things differently?"

"What do you mean?" Owen quizzically asked, more interested in the conversation.

"Well, how our lives would be if we didn't have the kids. Or if we only had one or two like we initially planned."

"Amelia, you have always said you wanted a lot of kids and so did I." Owen argued.

"Yeah, but remember how after Tommy we decided to stop?" Amelia asked with a broken voice. "What were we thinking? We were so stupid back then."

"What?" Owen chuckled at her spontaneous confession.

"Just imagine the insane amount of happiness we would be missing out on if we didn't have the twins or Megan, or even Tom and Luke."

"Didn't you just say you wanted to ship them to Neverland?"

"No," Amelia frowned, looking deeply offended. "That's not what I said."

"Then, what _did_ you say?" Owen raised one eyebrow at her, having fun with how worked up she was getting.

Amelia seemed to ponder his question for a few seconds, processing her answer before opening her mouth to talk.

"I said that even though sometimes I wish I could get a five minute break, I really don't, you know?" She played with Owen's index finger between hers, idly staring at the ceiling while lost in thought. "I mean, even though these five brats drive me close to exhaustion nearly every day, I feel like I live and breathe for them. And I absolutely can't imagine myself being happy without any of you." Amelia confessed, letting her husband know of the important role he played in her life too.

"Yeah," Owen agreed, closing his fingers around her hand and bringing it closer to give his wife a gentle kiss on her knuckles. "I feel the exact same way." He seemed to struggle with his thoughts for a second before finally admitting. "I guess sometimes I do ask myself why we decided to have kids in the first place," He smiled sheepishly at the confession when their eyes met. "But all it takes is one look at either of them to make me instantly remember and regret my doubts."

Amelia grinned, happy to realize she wasn't the only one who felt like that.

"It would be pretty cool to send them to Neverland, though," She teased, chuckling at her realization. "This way, they'd never have to grow up."

Owen smiled at her admission and watched as Amelia gently wrapped one arm around Megan, snuggling next to the little girl at the same time she protectively held her.

"Owen?" Amelia's whisper broke the silence after a few minutes. "Are you sleeping?"

"I am trying to," He did his best to hide his smile at his teasing reply.

"I spoke to Meredith today," Amelia shared, letting out a sigh of frustration. "She is not going to the wedding."

Owen rubbed his eyes, fighting off sleep. He knew that conversation would probably take more than a few minutes.

"Did she say why?"

"Not really," Amelia replied, playing with a nonexistent loose thread on her pillow case. "I mean, I didn't expect her to go in the first place anyway but as usual she just made up a sad excuse about work as a way to justify her absence."

"Well, I can't say I am surprised."

In a few weeks, Owen and Amelia were traveling to the East Coast to attend Amelia's oldest sister's wedding. A few years before, after visiting Amelia and realizing how unhappy and frozen in time her life was, Nancy had gone back home and turned the table around. A few months later, she had divorced the husband with whom she hadn't had a real relationship in nearly a decade, gotten closer to her kids and soon after started dating again. Now, a couple of years after meeting someone very special, Nancy was going to remarry and Amelia had planned with months in advance some free time at work so that she and Owen could spend some time in Connecticut for the wedding.

"I told her that we wouldn't mind taking Zola, Bailey and Ellis," Amelia confessed, supposing Owen would be on board. "I know Meredith isn't interested in keeping a relationship with my family but the kids will always be Derek's and they should be given the chance to spend time there. It's their family too, after all."

"Of course," Owen promptly agreed. "Do they want to go?"

"I didn't ask them yet," Amelia confessed. "But I suppose they'll want to. It's summer anyway and they'll be off school. I don't see why they wouldn't want to go."

Owen was too polite to say why he absolutely agreed. Over the years, it wasn't uncommon that Derek's three kids came to spend time with them, often having sleepovers. Before Amelia had married him, she used to live in the same house as her nieces and nephew, and the three kids had always felt a special connection with their aunt. But over the years, they'd grown to be left alone for large periods of time while their mom was working extra hours at the hospital.

"Are we really doing this?" Owen let out a sigh of worry. "Traveling across the country with eight kids?"

"Well, Zola is hardly a kid anymore…"

"You know what I mean," Owen turned his head sideways and looked at his wife above Megan's head.

"It could be fun," Amelia tried to sound encouraging.

"Yes, it could," Owen agreed, giving up adding that it could also be a total disaster.

"Are you going to sleep now?" Amelia asked. Her voice sounded like she was still lost in her own thoughts.

"Yes," Owen slowly moved up and leaned over Megan, surprising his wife when he gently touched her face with his hand. "By the way, I loved your request on the grocery list today."

Amelia took a fraction of a second longer than usual to realize what he was talking about and she couldn't help smiling in response when the memory of her spontaneous addition caught up with her.

"Well, I meant it," She declared affectionately, feeling Owen's thumb rubbing on her cheek as he leaned over with full intention to kiss her.

Amelia noticed the sweetness in his eyes as he intensely gazed at her, obviously admiring her features.

"We're very well off then," Owen realized before capturing her lips with his own. "Because this is all I need to smile." He added, recalling her wish.

"A kiss?" Amelia giggled when he buried his face on the curve of her neck, playfully exploring the area with his lips. "Is a kiss really the price of your smile?"

"No," He raised his head, making eye contact with his wife and seeing the contentment on her face. When Owen replied, his voice sounded firm with determinate conviction before he got back to his side of the bed to finally fall asleep, "For you, they'll always be free of charge"


	2. Chapter 2

**My Boys – Beneath the Surface: Chapter 2**

"Owen, you have to hurry up," Amelia demanded, following her husband through the crowded ER. "We're going to miss our flight!"

The trauma surgeon stopped walking when he reached the nurse station and put back a tablet with patient files at the same time he turned around to face his wife.

"I've been paging you for the last two hours saying I was ready. You never replied," Owen reasoned, signing lab orders. "Now that I'm needed on a case you want to go?"

"I was stuck in surgery!" Amelia justified, once again hurrying to catch up with him. When she saw her husband was reaching out for another patient file, she took the object from his hands without ceremony. "Delegate it." She commanded with her best bossy voice. "There's a possibility of a tropical storm hitting the East Coast and it wouldn't be surprising if the flights got cancelled when it does. We have to leave today."

Owen let out a heavy sigh and knowing his wife was probably right, handed out the tablet to another ER attending. He quickly followed her through the corridors, checking his watch only to realize it was already noon. They had to hurry up or they would indeed end up missing the flight, with the risk of not being able to take another one.

.

Amidst picking up the kids, grabbing everyone's bags and hurrying to the airport, Owen and Amelia made it on the clock. The flight time from Seattle to New York took about five and a half hours and with the time difference, it was nearly 9 in the evening when they finally landed at JFK Airport.

Exactly as Amelia had feared, the tropical storm predicted for the following day made its way a little too soon and while they were claiming their baggage and sorting out the rental for the cars they'd take to drive up to Connecticut, the reporters on the news started to warn citizens to avoid leaving their houses. It didn't take long for several flights to be canceled or delayed, causing an intense agglomeration of people and when they were finally able to leave the airport to the cars with eight kids and all the bags, Amelia heard on the news that several of the main roads in the upstate area had been preventively closed.

"What are we going to do now?" She looked around the airport parking lot. From inside, they could hear the heavy rain and gushing winds starting to form.

"It says here that they might upgrade the tropical storm to a Hurricane category one tonight," Bailey informed, looking from his phone to his aunt and uncle.

"It's probably not safe to drive to Connecticut today," Owen rationally said, looking from the kids to his wife. Even though it usually took less than one hour and a half to get from the airport to the city where Nancy lived, it wasn't advisable with that weather. "What do you want to do? Do you want to see if we can find a hotel? There's probably going to a be a lot of people trying to…"

"No," Amelia interrupted him, opening the doors to one of the cars as she was assaulted with a better idea. "Let's go to my mom's. Her house is in Forest Hill, that's about six miles from here. We can sleep there and drive up to New Canaan in the morning if the weather is better."

The wedding was only in a few days and they had rented a house in New Canaan, Connecticut for a whole week, to allow the kids to spend some time with their cousins and grandmother while they enjoyed a bit of their summer break.

"I thought your mom would be with Nancy by now," Owen reasoned.

"She is," Amelia informed. "But I'll call her and figure it out. I believe she leaves a spare key with the next door neighbor for emergencies," The neurosurgeon remembered, picking up her cell to dial hoping that the phone signal was still good.

Fifteen minutes later, Amelia had gotten a hold of her mother and learned where she could get a spare key. Even though the route from JFK airport to the neighborhood in Queens where Amelia's mother still lived was very short, they carefully drove through the rainy weather, paying close attention to the roads while instructing the kids to stay calm and quiet inside the cars.

.

Owen parked the car right behind Amelia's and told the kids to wait inside while he watched her get the keys from the neighbor. It felt like the rain and wind were getting heavier but he still took his time examining the two story suburban house where his wife had grown up in.

Even though Owen had been in New York to visit her family a few times before, they had either stayed in a Hotel or in one of her sisters' apartment in Manhattan. He had never really been to the neighborhood where Amelia had spent her early years and Owen couldn't help noticing how appropriate for raising a family the streets over there seem to be, with spacious houses and a lot of parks, differing from the idea he had of the typical New York City neighborhood.

"Come on, Meg," Owen picked up the little girl in his arms as he helped Zola, Ellis and Thomas get off the car. A few yards from them, Amelia did the same with Bailey and their other sons, grabbing their luggage as they tried to dodge the wind to carry everything inside the house.

When Amelia closed the door after them, locking it, she finally let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh my God, I thought we weren't going to make it," She smiled, seeing the startled expressions on each kid's face. Soon enough, they started to make themselves comfortable, getting rid of their wet jackets and shoes.

After the long journey there, all eight kids were exhausted and hungry. Owen spent the next hour going over the groceries and making them sandwiches while Amelia went back and forth in the rooms, trying to find everybody an appropriate place to sleep. Her mother had been living alone in that house for years and it was to be expected that it couldn't properly accommodate eight kids and two adults overnight. After everyone was already fed, Owen took care of the dishes while Amelia settled everyone. The rain was heavy outside but the power was still on, which was a comfort.

The house where the Shepherds had grown up in was old but carefully kept over the years. Despite being located in an excellent neighborhood, the house itself wasn't big and there were only 3 bedrooms, all located on the top floor. Amelia correctly supposed Megan would want to stay with Zola, for the little girl was absolutely a fan of her seventeen year old cousin, so the neurosurgeon let the two girls sleep on Carolyn's bed, whereas Bailey and Ellis stayed in Derek's old room that had also been Nancy's once. Thomas and Lucas shared the bunk bed in the third room and Robbie and Danny each got a comfortable couch, falling asleep before Amelia had the chance to turn off the lights in the living room.

"You do know this is all your fault, right?" Owen whispered in her ear from behind, startling Amelia just when she had engulfed the room in darkness.

"Damn it, Owen!" She angrily whispered back, taking her hand to her racing heart after nearly screaming at his scare. The gushing winds and the storm outside made the scenario already creepy enough. Amelia heard his laughter and took a deep breath, trying to pull herself back together. "What do you mean, this is my fault?" She frowned at him, obviously still mad at the way he'd approached her.

"Well…" Owen's eyes shone with mirth as he carefully chose the words, knowing he was about to hit a nerve. "The minute you come home a Hurricane strikes the city. It can't be a coincidence."

Amelia turned around and glared at him, trying to decide whether to strangle her husband or attack him verbally.

"You're very funny," She chose sarcasm instead, dodging his touch when Owen tried to kiss her face. "And I have not come home."

"You haven't?" He teased her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind even though Amelia tried to resist it.

"My home is in Seattle," She affirmed with conviction, still grumpily avoiding the touch of his lips.

His wife's confession brought a smile to Owen's face and he softened his grip on her body, gently swaying her around in his arms. Owen knew that even though Amelia had lived in several cities, it was only in his hometown that she'd been truly happy. And it had everything to do with the fact that it was in Seattle that they had started their family and lives together.

"I love to hear that's how you feel," Owen took one hand to her face, never failing to be amused by her childhood nickname she hated so much. Amelia had always refused to tell him how she'd come to be given that title even though Owen had heard it from her family members a couple of times in the past. "So, will you ever tell me why you're Hurricane Amelia?"

"No," Amelia promptly replied, trying to sound determinate and rigid but the lazy smile on the corner of her lips betrayed her. "Stop it, Owen…" She suppressed a giggle when her husband kept trying to seduce her into telling him with gentle kisses on her jaw line. "You know, I just realized I've put all kids in bed and now we have pretty much nowhere to sleep." Amelia confessed.

Owen stopped what he was doing and brought his face up to stare into her eyes.

"Are you serious?" He let out an amused chuckle, seeing Amelia nodding affirmatively with a fun apologetic expression on her face.

"Well, it's not entirely true, though," Amelia bit her bottom lip mischievously and took her husband by the hand, silently guiding him.

Owen furrowed his brows in question but didn't say a word, patiently waiting to see where she was taking him. Amelia walked past the kitchen and only when he thought they were about to exit the house through the back he noticed she was opening a small door that he had earlier believed to be a small storage room.

As soon as Owen made his way inside he realized that the room, whatever it had originally been in the past, had clearly been converted into a bedroom. By one corner, he spotted a chunky designed charcoal-oak single bed, with a few scratches on the elegant foil. Next to it, a study desk that seemed too small to be functional was covered with heavy books, some recognizable to him from his medical school days. A huge crimson Harvard felt pennant flag was hung right beneath a book shelf and some old posters decorated two of the remaining walls. But a delicate pin board with lavender post-its and old pictures gave the room a personal touch, letting Owen know that once someone had probably spent a lot of time there.

"Was this your room?" He turned around after carefully inspecting the pictures on the board. The teenage version of his wife appeared in several of them and one especially caught his attention. Amelia couldn't have been older than twelve or thirteen as she stood smiling broadly to the camera with Derek by her side proudly wrapping one arm around his sister while flashing his graduation outfit from Columbia University.

"Yes," Amelia sheepishly answered without taking her eyes off the same picture Owen had been looking at. He noticed as his wife slowly reached out for the board and carefully removed the photograph from there, studying it closely in her hands. "I didn't remember this picture," she embarrassingly confessed, obviously having just been assaulted by a wave of emotions.

"You look very happy on it," Owen commented, noticing Amelia was still mesmerized by the image.

"I was," Her reply was nearly a whisper. Amelia kept staring at the picture for long seconds before abruptly getting back to reality. "Derek was the first one of us to graduate from a University and it had always been my dad's dream that we got to have an education," She raised her head and made eye contact with Owen, a sad smile lingering on her lips. "Anyways," Amelia returned the photo to the board, pinning it back, "this right here used to be my room for long, long years."

"Why was your bedroom here in the kitchen?" Owen frowned. Apparently, the distance between Amelia and the rest of the family had not only been emotional, but also physical.

"This was originally a storage room accessible through the garage," She explained, pointing to the marks on the wall that indicated there was once a door there. "I used to share a room upstairs with Kate, Liz and Nancy. It was horrible. I hated it and so did they. When Derek went off to college, Nancy being the oldest of us got his room and I convinced mom to let me move down here."

Just as Amelia finished explaining, a loud thunder made the walls vibrate, startling them both. Owen knew that despite not very common, those kinds of tropical storms also weren't rare in the East Coast. His eyes quickly spotted the defensive way in which Amelia wrapped her arms around herself. Even though she was acting serenely calm, judging by the way he'd inadvertently scared her before and how she seemed to be slightly alarmed, Owen assumed the awful storm outside was probably causing her more stress than she wanted to show, which was intriguing considering that back at their home Amelia had never been so affected by bad weather the way she seemed to be now. And ever since they'd entered that small room, Amelia's discomfort seemed to have slightly increased.

"Did you see a lot of storms like this one when you were a kid?" He smiled affectionately at her, carefully trying to assess the subject. Over the years, Amelia had opened up to him about a lot of things and Owen was sure his wife trusted him with all her heart but for some reason, she rarely talked about her family and he knew there was much more pain hidden in the depths of her past than Amelia would care to admit.

"A few, yeah," Amelia nodded with a half hearted smile, breaking eye contact with him at the same time she turned around, keeping herself busy looking for linens and blankets in the small wardrobe by one corner.

Through the small window, Owen saw a thick lightning strike, followed by another alarmingly loud thunder. Once again, he didn't fail to notice how restless his wife was getting.

"It must have been pretty scary for a kid to sleep down here when the weather was this bad," Owen casually commented with both hands inside his pant pockets, trying to initiate a conversation without pushing her. He watched as his wife walked back and forth inside the small room, obviously trying to distract herself. "I am pretty sure that if it were Megan, she would be flying upstairs asking to sleep in our bed."

Amelia froze in her feet but instantly regained control, giving Owen a corner smile before adding cases to some pillows. Her reaction didn't go unnoticed to Owen.

"I am pretty sure she would but I was older than Meg when I slept here and it wasn't that big of a deal, really."

The neurosurgeon quickly turned around again, avoiding eye contact with her husband. The memory of her eight year old self popped in Amelia's mind and unwillingly she saw the familiar face of a scared little girl wrapping herself in a fluffy blanket while silently climbing the steps to the upper floor. She had lost count of how many nights like that she'd slept curled up in a tiny ball outside her mother's bedroom, too afraid to sleep alone but at the same time too embarrassed to ask to be comforted because she knew that the minute her sisters found out she was afraid of storms, they would mercilessly make fun of her.

Amelia swallowed hard and felt stupid for letting those silly old memories get to her. She wasn't a scared little girl anymore, she was a grown ass woman, and not only should she not be bothered by something as mundane as bad weather, she also shouldn't be feeling sorry for herself like that. Amelia hated that feeling. Her sisters hadn't been particularly easy on her and often her mother hadn't properly intervened but even though it'd been painful, it had also made her toughen up, so now she needed to act accordingly.

Owen saw the transformation that slowly unfolded on her heavy expression. First fear and discomfort, then rejection and ultimately a familiar brightness of fierce determination shone in the amazing blue of his wife's eyes. Amelia was easier to read than she would like and without saying another word, Owen kissed the top of her head, bending over to help her make the bed.

It was no news to him that Amelia usually wasn't excited about seeing her family or spending time with them. Owen knew that this time it would be no different. He was sure that the only reason why Amelia had decided to drive to her childhood home to spend the night was because it was the safest and most comfortable alternative for the kids and she would always selflessly put their needs before her own, hence why she was submitting herself to sleeping in a tiny bed for the sake of their comfort.

"Do you think Meg could be scared?" Amelia's eyes widened in the dark. Owen's previous casual comment made her wonder if her daughter could be feeling the same things she'd once gone through and the thought freaked her out. "Or Danny or Robbie? The twins are all alone in that big living room without even…"

"They're fine, Amelia. They're asleep." Owen gently interrupted her, smiling with pride at her concern.

"You go to sleep, I'll be right back," She handed over the pillows she was holding and without giving her husband the chance to say another word, made her way to the living room.

.

Owen heard the distant sounds of Amelia's footsteps fading as she went to check on the kids and turning around, he couldn't help laughing at the hilarious situation they were in. Back at their comfortable home in Seattle, he and his wife shared a huge king size bed and even then they were always bickering about space. Now they would have to share a bed in which Owen doubted he could fit without having to flex his legs.

He once again scanned everything around him, smiling to find the belongings of his wife. Owen felt closer to Amelia than anyone else in his life and yet, this was the only part of her life he hadn't yet had full access to. At the same time he was intrigued, Owen was also fascinated. He knew Amelia's childhood hadn't been the easiest, having lost her dad at a young age and fighting drug addiction from adolescence. But even in her early years, she already possessed the resilience of a giant because as it had always followed, whenever the odds were against her, Amelia turned the table around and found her way out. She had responded to disbelief and neglect with amazing academic achievement and personal success. Her intellectual brilliance only wasn't bigger than her emotional brightness because not only had Amelia made the top of her class in school and university, she had also maintained her high spirits and positivity, refusing to succumb to bitterness and self pity. It was probably her trait that Owen loved the most.

Or maybe it was the fact that she was such a devoted, selfless, affectionate human being, he thought. Truth was, Owen couldn't decide. He loved Amelia too much and admired her even more.

After spending the following few minutes noticing the shelves and the pictures all around, Owen finally got in bed, laughing at how stupid he must have been looking. The rain outside was still falling but much less so and he had to admit the noise had gone from alarming to soothing. Soon enough, he heard his wife returning, easily dodging the furniture in the dark as she swiftly moved in the room she was so familiar with.

"Are they okay?" Owen asked with a whisper, turning to his side to make room for Amelia at the same time he stretched his arm open in a clear invitation.

"Yes," Amelia replied with a sad smile. She lay down next to him on the small bed, gluing her back to Owen's chest at the same time he firmly wrapped one arm around her waist.

Amelia closed her eyes with more strength than it was usually necessary, trying her hardest not to tear up at the same time she rested her hand above Owen's, swiftly intertwining their fingers. She felt immensely relieved that her kids didn't seem bothered at all by the thunderstorm outside.

But after wondering why, Amelia quickly reached a conclusion. Thankfully, none of them had experienced the loss of a person who was supposed to provide them with a sense of security and protection. Owen was there every night to make sure they felt safe, regardless of what was happening outside their house. Amelia was extremely grateful that none of her kids had ever had to feel as vulnerable and afraid as she once had, to the point of having a thunderstorm trigger feelings of insecurity and desperation that had led her to sleep in a cold hall just to prevent her pride, the only thing she had left, from being crushed by her fear.

But none of that mattered anymore because her kids were fine and safe. Amelia felt awful that, in a matter of hours of being at her childhood home, she was already being assaulted by emotions and memories that shifted her mood completely. She hated feeling like that and wouldn't let it affect her spirits anymore. After all, they had flown across the country to be on vacation and the least she deserved was to thoroughly enjoy it. Instead of mourning because her family had caused her pain once, Amelia felt like she should be celebrating the fact that now, the family she had built with the love of her life only filled her with happiness and reasons to smile every day.

"Are you comfortable there?" She teasingly asked, turning around in Owen's arms and tightly wrapping her arm around his chest, loving the comfort of his embrace.

"I feel as cozy as a tuna inside a can," Owen joked, reveling in the sound of her laughter. He had no idea why, but she seemed to be in a better mood and he loved seeing her authentic smile again. "I am kidding, this actually feels kind of nice," He confessed, suggestively pulling her closer at the same time his free hand lazily caressed her hair. "I can't remember the last time I had you all to myself like this."

Amelia saw the spark in his eyes and she smiled back at her husband, completely enchanted.

"Well, I _am_ all yours," Amelia buried her face on the curve of his neck, unknowingly seeking the comfort she desperately needed but refused to acknowledge.

Owen smiled and ran his hand on her back beneath the soft fabric of her shirt, feeling the familiar warmth of her skin. He sensed Amelia's body slowly relaxing as she rested with one leg and arm thrown over his body.

"You can count on me to hold you through the storm, alright?" Owen whispered after a few minutes of careful hesitation. "We'll be together through it. And I won't let go, I promise."

Amelia opened her eyes in the dark, slowly processing the meaning of his words. Her husband wasn't exactly talking about the weather and she knew it. Amelia should have known that even though Owen didn't ask a lot of questions, when it came to her he often didn't have to, because she involuntarily provided him with all the answers.

"Even in the super loud thunders?" She raised her head and stared lovingly at him, unable to express how much she adored that man.

"Even in the loudest ones," Owen joked, tilting his head to give her a kiss on the tip of her nose.

"Even when the Hurricane strikes?" Amelia tested him suggestively, knowing Owen would realize she didn't mean the weather either.

"I have a thing for Hurricanes. You should know that by now," He provoked her with an affectionate smile. "After all, I married one," Owen closed his eyes, feeling exhaustion from the full day they'd had finally catching up with him.

"Don't call me that, I hate it," Amelia said for the sake of her pride, turning her head to hide the smile of amusement at her silly act.

Owen chuckled and once again tightened his grip around his wife, pulling her closer before allowing himself to fall asleep. Even though the space was limited, Amelia was feeling strangely comfortable and she was finally able to relax and close her eyes, knowing that for the first time ever she would peacefully sleep through the night in that bed.


	3. Chapter 3

**My Boys: Beneath the Surface** **– Chapter 3**

Owen woke up with the soft contact of a small, warm hand rubbing on his stomach. He slowly opened his lids, only to find two amazing blue eyes staring back at him.

"Hey…" He whispered in confusion, forcing himself to wake up at the same time he tried to remember where he was. "What's going on, are you…?"

The rest of Owen's question got lost as Amelia's lips gently touched his at the same time her hand cupped his cheek. Owen took a while to process what was happening but he quickly embarked on her kiss, instantly wrapping one arm around her frame as his wife moved to his top.

"What time is it?" The trauma surgeon asked in confusion, assessing everything around. He remembered they were in Amelia's childhood home in New York because of a bad storm but judging by the silence, the rain had stopped falling outside.

"Over here, eight…" Amelia bent over and once again stole a kiss from his lips. "Back home, five in the morning."

"Why aren't you asleep?" Owen questioned, now fully understanding why he had woken up so confused and disoriented. It wasn't late morning like he'd assumed, but still the middle of the night for the time zone his body was still in.

Amelia let out a sigh and sat up on his thighs at the same time she pulled his shoulders in an attempt to keep him awake.

"We have to go, you can't sleep in," The neurosurgeon explained. "We got to clean up this mess before we leave… I don't want to give my mom any ammo to point a finger at me any more than she already will."

"We'll clean up before we go," he replied with simplicity.

Owen tried to ignore her logical explanation and closed his eyes, determined to sleep for at least another couple of hours, but Amelia insistently annoyed him to wake up.

"I'd never thought I'd say this in my life but stop kissing me," Owen cried out, torn between feeling grumpy or amused. "Go back to sleep, woman."

"No, Owen, get up, come on," Amelia pulled his arm, unsuccessfully trying to move his body out of the bed.

"I will get up alright if you'd stop giving me a lap dance," Owen chided with a mirthful smile, referring to the way she was straddling his hips.

Amelia tried to act mad at him but she let out a happy chuckle, amused at his mixed sense of humor.

"I'll drive to Connecticut with the kids and leave you here," She threatened with a grin.

"You can't, they won't all fit in one car," Owen reasoned, pulling the covers and easily resisting her strong pull.

"I'll just pick my favorites and leave the nasty ones to you," Amelia smiled mischievously, leaning over him to once again shower him with pestering kisses. "Come on, Owen, up, up, up…"

There was only one reason that would make Owen willingly wake up at that ungodly hour but seeing how anxious his wife was to leave, he doubted Amelia would be up for having sex at that moment. Owen couldn't remember the last time he'd made love to his wife without being in a hurry. If he were to be completely honest, in the previous couple of weeks, they hadn't got any action at all because the days before their trip had been exceptionally busy, with the kids having tests at school and the two surgeons pulling long hours at work to make up for the time they would be absent on vacation. And Owen knew that sex and sleep deprivations weren't exactly contributing to put him in a good mood.

After being tormented for the following five minutes, Owen reluctantly did as requested, not at all excited to leave the bed. Amelia tried to cheer him up by saying they would have an amazing week away from their work responsibilities but Owen got up without saying a word, too tired to focus on what he was doing.

As Amelia had predicted, they took a long time putting the house back in order and getting the kids ready to go. When they finally made it to the lovely town of New Canaan in Connecticut, it was nearly lunch time.

"Look, mom, there is a _pool_!" Danny excitedly shouted when they entered the house.

Amelia nodded with a large smile. The city where her sister lived was distinctively wealthy. All houses followed the same pattern: old colonial huge mansions with five or six bedrooms and a lot of outdoor space. When she and Owen had opted for renting a house instead of staying with her family or booking a hotel, they'd done it for the sole purpose of allowing the kids more freedom and space to have fun. It was summer, after all. But Amelia had purposefully not told them about the yard and the pool as a way to surprise the excited group. And after seeing the happy smile on their faces, she was sure they'd made the right decision.

.

"I just called my mom and she is at Nancy's a few blocks from here. They are coming over later," Amelia awkwardly informed her husband, watching as Owen finished settings things for their lunch. On the way there, they'd stopped to shop groceries and Owen had suggested they made a barbecue outside, an idea that was promptly supported by the boys.

"That's fine, we have more than enough food," Owen replied with a lighthearted smiled, pulling up his sunglasses to look at her.

Amelia playfully rolled her eyes but couldn't contain a chuckle when she looked at him. As the kids ran on the grass throwing footballs and jumped in and out of the pool under her careful watch, Owen stood barefoot by a large barbecue grill, completely at ease. Amelia knew he loved being outdoors but her husband's very fair skin and blonde locks didn't exactly fit that summer scenario. As she watched his skillful hands gracefully handling their lunch, Amelia couldn't help noticing his large, manly hands. She involuntarily bit her bottom lip, being assaulted by memories of the amazing things Owen could do with those hands. Amelia really missed her husband and couldn't wait to be with him in real privacy.

"Did you put on sunscreen?" She inquired with a teasing smile, having more fun watching him than she would admit.

"Oh, God, here we go…" Owen rolled his eyes, well aware of his wife's constant pestering about sun protection.

Amelia once again chuckled, determined to let nothing ruin her good mood. She silently nudged her husband's shoulder with her own to then give him a hand with the cooking while keeping an eye on the kids. Inside the pool, Megan had her arms firmly wrapped around Zola's neck, giggling at Lucas' playful attempts to bite her feet underwater mimicking a shark.

The scene distracted her for a few seconds, bringing a smile to Amelia's face but soon enough her thoughts wandered back to her family. If she were to be completely honest, having a space for her kids to enjoy their summer break had been the main reason why she had suggested to Owen they rented a house, but not the only one. Truth was, she didn't want to spend a full week under the likelihood of her sisters' heavy judging.

Even though after their heartfelt and sincere conversation years before Amelia had come to feel a little closer to Nancy, her sister's behavior despite improved wasn't completely different. Just like her mother and other siblings, Nancy still believed she had every right to comment on Amelia's life choices and openly criticize them. After so many years of being submitted to heavy frowns, looks of disappointment and gratuitous judgments, Amelia felt like she was already immune to most of it. Of course she didn't look forward to their behavior, but she had already grown a thicker skin.

On the other hand, Owen and their kids had never really spent that much time with her family and they didn't deserve to be equally scrutinized. Amelia knew her sisters loved her and all they did was thinking of her best interest, but she didn't like the _way_ they did it one bit. Even though she had never really spent much time dwelling on the thought, Amelia was pretty sure her sisters were hesitant about her husband. And Amelia knew she was partly to blame about that.

When she'd gotten engaged to Owen, Amelia hadn't yet introduced him to anyone in the family. Trying to make amends for that, she had invited everyone to their wedding but none of them had made it. That had scarred Amelia more than she would admit. Back then, startled by her apparent impulsive decision to marry a guy no one in the family knew, her mother and sisters had cruelly suggested Owen was another one of her ill advised decisions. Amelia acknowledged that maybe she could have told them about Owen before she announced they were getting married. But Amelia was also damn sure that didn't give her family the right to suppose that since she hadn't, it was because there was something to ashamed of and then simply assume Owen was another bad call from her part.

But that was exactly what they'd done.

After finding out the youngest of the Shepherd siblings had married a guy no one really knew, they had immediately jumped to the conclusion that Amelia's husband was someone who didn't share their values of family importance, considering he was marrying someone without bothering to know her relatives first. It took Amelia a while to make them believe she hadn't just met Owen and decided to marry him; that in fact, they'd been in a relationship for years before they had decided to take the next step, which ultimately just added to the bad impression the Shepherds had about Owen not being interested in meeting the family. Weeks after the wedding, in a long conversation on the phone in which Amelia's mother had once again repeatedly asked if she'd gone back to using drugs, Carolyn Shepherd had also asked what was so wrong about Owen that Amelia felt like she needed to hide him from them for the two years prior to the marriage.

Amelia still felt awful for not shouting to her mom that her distance had been because she was conscious of her family and didn't want to cause a bad impression about them on Owen, and not the other way around like they probably had assumed. Not even affirming that Owen had been good friends with Derek and that her late brother approved of their relationship had made her mother or sisters believe Amelia was in a functional place for the first time in her life. And because Amelia was family and they couldn't hold a grudge on her for much longer, the Shepherds had instead channeled their resentment towards her husband over the years.

After that, as she slowly introduced Owen to her mother and sisters' lives on Christmases and Thanksgivings, her family had grown more comfortable and less suspicious of him, but that first impression and the wrong idea they'd made of him in their heads still lasted, awkwardly lingering in the air every time one of them talked to or about Amelia's husband.

Carolyn had raised her kids to value family and support each other as much as they could. After they had met their significant others, all Shepherds had pretty much stuck around. Derek had married Addison and during most of their marriage they'd lived in Manhattan, whereas Kathleen and her husband had also shared a penthouse with a Central Park view, at a driving distance from their mother's house. After she'd gotten married, Nancy and her husband had moved to Connecticut, also no more than an hour away and Liz ran her practice upstate where she lived with her husband and kids.

But as soon as she'd graduated high school, Amelia had gone up to Harvard for school and she'd never looked back. Once she'd gotten into residency, a move from Boston to Baltimore had followed, then to Los Angeles, until Amelia had finally settled down in Seattle. While her sisters and brother had spent nearly every holiday together, celebrating their victories, sharing their losses and slowly introducing new members of their families, Amelia had been the estranged one to move from city to city, hardly ever making an appearance at family events.

Amelia didn't regret keeping her distance when she had to because she knew that had been exactly what she'd needed to keep her mental sanity. And while in Los Angeles, during one of the darkest periods of her life, luckily she'd had a family there who'd been able to offer more support and instill strength than her biological family had ever had. Even growing up, Amelia had felt like she could relate more to Addison than any of her sisters and that explained why she'd spent so much time at her brother's Manhattan apartment as a teenager, soon after he'd married Addison Montgomery.

"Are you okay?" Owen asked with a puzzled expression, studying his wife's distant attitude.

His question brought Amelia back from her thoughts and blinking twice before getting back to the present, Amelia finally looked back at him.

"What?"

"I was just asking if you can get the coleslaw and the potato salad from the fridge," Owen stared into her eyes.

"Sure," Amelia forced herself to focus on what was happening around her rather than in her mind. "I'll get to it," Turning around, she followed the stony path that came from the pool and raised her voice, "Guys, come on, get out of the pool to have lunch."

As the kids made their way to the yard tables outside, Amelia climbed the steps of the back porch, distractedly humming to a song before going into the kitchen. She was trying to balance two bowls in her arms at the same time she closed the fridge with her leg when the loud buzz from the doorbell startled her. After putting the salad plates on the kitchen counter, Amelia crossed the whole house towards the foyer, not surprised to see her mother and three sisters when she opened the door.

Almost instantly she felt her ribs complaining at the sequence of tight hugs she got, followed by cheerful words of excitement at their reunion after so long.

"You look amazing!" Liz commented with genuine affection, wrapping one arm around her little sister's shoulder. Amelia couldn't help smiling back. Liz had always been her favorite sister. "Where are the kids? I can't wait to see them."

"They're all outside," Amelia replied with a grin, feeling overwhelmed at the unexpected but warm welcome. "Come on, Owen is making barbecue, let's all go have lunch."

Amelia was still a little self conscious when she led the way to the backyard, watching as her mom stepped up to help her carry the rest of the food outside. At the sight of the small group of women coming down the back porch stairs, Owen politely greeted each one of them and watched as they took their time talking to the kids and pointing out how grown they all were.

"Oh my God, Zola, look at you!" Kathleen explained with surprise. "What happen to that little girl with piggy tails?"

"Well, I am going to college in the fall," The seventeen year old shared with a smile. "No more piggy tails for me."

"How is your mom?" Carolyn asked, looking from Zola to Bailey and quickly moving her eyes to Ellis. Looking at Bailey was always a little heartbreaking for the Shepherds, because the fifteen year old boy resembled his father in nearly everything, from the voice, to the slim figure and the way he walked. Only his light hair was a telltale that he had some of Meredith's genes too.

"She's been super busy with work," Ellis stepped up to reply and Amelia couldn't help noticing the girl sounded a little resentful.

"I can't say how happy I am that the three of you have agreed to come to the wedding," Nancy said with honesty, touching Ellis' hair with something that resembled a mix of pity and longing. Amelia wasn't sure but she thought she'd seen a bit of relief when her sisters found out they weren't going to see Ellis, Bailey and Zola's mom.

Even though Carolyn sometimes flew to Seattle to see her grandkids and for their sake kept a civil relationship with Meredith, none of the Shepherds, especially the sisters, had really forgiven her for the way she'd let Derek go without at least letting his family say goodbye. Amelia knew that like her, the other women missed Derek deeply. But unlike the youngest sister, who saw her nieces and nephew on a weekly basis, Carolyn, Nancy, Kathleen and Liz didn't have a lot of contact with the trio, so every time they saw his kids, the group was reminded of the cruel reality that Derek was really gone.

"And just look at you, you cute little thing," Liz smiled broadly as she kneeled down to Megan's height. The little girl was defensively standing behind Amelia's leg, watching the virtual strangers with suspicion. "You look so grown! The last time I saw you, you were only a tiny, tiny baby." Amelia's sister added with an inviting smile, trying to win over the youngest member of the family.

Megan studied the woman who resembled her mother for a little while and once she decided her aunt looked harmless, the girl finally took a step forward, still keeping a safe distance from her mother.

"I am very grown," The five year old said with authority.

The group of six adults laughed in synchrony and soon after, Owen guided them to sit down on the round tables placed in the backyard. With the eager help of Lucas and Bailey, the trauma surgeon went back to the grill. As the kids took their seats, even though there was more than enough space at the table, Thomas casually sat on his mother's lap as he excitedly told her about the tennis court he'd spotted in the opposite side of the backyard.

Amelia was so busy sharing her attention between listening to Thomas and slicing chicken fillets for the twins that she never noticed the discreetly surprised look on her sisters' faces at scene playing out in front of them. Over the years, no one had witnessed the growth Amelia had gone through and because she had never really spent much quality time with the rest of the family since her days in university, the Shepherd sisters still viewed their younger sibling as a rebel, wild, inconsequent party girl who often struggled to tell right from wrong. In their minds, Amelia had never really fit in, usually being the absent one on special occasions and never really sharing much about her life. They didn't expect Amelia to be an affectionate, caring mother, especially not someone who sliced chicken or whose eleven year old son felt so comfortable around.

To her sisters, Amelia's marriage to Owen had been sudden and impulsive. The three women and Carolyn Shepherd expected it to crumble quickly but surprisingly, it had not only resisted, but apparently also thrived. Together, the previously underrated couple had built a solid marriage and had five children. Still, the Shepherds were hesitant because even after all that time, Owen and the grown up version of Amelia were still virtual strangers to them. The Seattle-based couple didn't exchange weekly phone calls like the three other sisters did and they hardly ever showed up in the East Coast. Over the years, everyone had come to assume they simply didn't care enough to do it.

In the mean time, Owen had spent the past decade trying to convince Amelia that they should try to be closer to her family, for the sake of their kids. But Amelia had always resisted, arguing that she would rather her kids didn't get close to her family rather to have them undergo the same kind of scrutiny she'd received from them all her life. But then at times, when she was distracted, Amelia would make a comment about her mother or share a happy memory about one of her sisters and those accidental slips made Owen wonder if they really were the monsters his wife painted them to be. And because he had never really spent more than two or three days a year in their company, Owen had never really come to find out.

So in reality, after nearly a decade of being married to Amelia, the truth was that her family still didn't know Owen at all, whereas the trauma surgeon also had never had the chance to make up his own impartial opinion about them. The only difference was that now, instead of a spending a few hours in two days around them, Owen was going to be in their company for at least a whole week.

And yet, he had no idea how much that experience would affect him or his marriage.

.

Later that same day, Amelia couldn't believe when she was finally able to take a deep breath and slow down. After spending nearly the whole day outside with her family, the neurosurgeon had watched her sisters and mother leave after dinner, still not quite believing how they had impeccably behaved during the whole afternoon.

As she helped Danny and Robbie get in bed after the exhausting day they'd had, Amelia thought about that. Aside from one or two teasing remarks, her mother and sisters had actually treated her with considerate kindness and she was positively impressed. The twins fell asleep the minute she pulled the covers on them and Amelia smiled with pleasure at the image of their healthy, flushed faces after spending the entire day playing outside. Even though it wasn't that late in Seattle, they were already getting adapted to the new time zone. After giving each boy a kiss on the head, the neurosurgeon made it to the room at the end of the hall, where Megan was already asleep. Knowing her daughter had been demanding Zola's attention through the entire day, Amelia considerately asked her oldest niece:

"Zozo, there is a vacant bedroom on this side of the hall, do you want to go sleep there? I know Meg hasn't left you alone for one second. It's okay to take a break from her, you deserve it." The surgeon added with good humor.

Zola chuckled and replied with sincerity.

"It's okay, aunt, I don't mind it one bit," The teenage girl confessed. "To be honest, I actually enjoy it. It's nice to have a little kid idolizing you."

Amelia smiled in return and gave her two nieces and daughter a kiss goodnight, watching as this time, Megan had chosen to sleep on Ellis' bed. She closed the door after them, thinking back at how she had once felt the same way as Megan, idolizing Zola's dad and always chasing after him and demanding his attention.

After seeing Owen help Lucas, Thomas and Bailey figure out their sleeping arrangements, Amelia gave the boys a kiss too and disappeared into her suite, eager to finally relax and enjoy that part of her vacation. Back home, at that hour she would usually catch up on journals, oversee some resident's work or review a surgical plan but since she was on time off, Amelia could enjoy the luxury of having no late night responsibilities.

The neurosurgeon couldn't believe it when she finally walked into the shower. Even though the sun was very strong during the day, the temperature in New Canaan usually dropped to a comfortable low during the night. Amelia lost track of time and spent long minutes enjoying the soothing silence, the steamy air sweating the glass walls and the delicious touch of the hot water on her body.

She was so relaxed and distracted enjoying every sensation that when a pair of large, manly hands slowly splayed on her hips she took longer than usual to react to it. When her mind finally acknowledged Owen's presence in the shower, her body had already responded to his touch with a rush of blood to her lower belly.

A thousand words were said in their silence and Amelia arched her back, leaning against her husband's chest as his hands slowly made their way up from her sides to her waist at the same time his lips explored the curve of her neck. Unable to resist, Amelia took one of her hands up and dug her fingers through her husband's hair, roughly pulling him closer. When his hands finally cupped her breasts and Owen pulled her body against his, Amelia felt a boost of pleasure, feeling his obvious arousal pressing against her back.

"I want you," Owen hoarsely whispered in her ear between kisses. One of his hands swiftly traveled from her breast to the middle of her thighs, pressing her harder as if proving a point, "so much…"

Amelia closed her eyes and tilted her head back, gasping for air as she felt the sweet intrusion of her husband's fingers in her body. Her free hand automatically grabbed Owen's wrist for support while his movements made her feel like she was losing balance in her legs. Amelia could still feel the hot water and Owen's lips sucking her neck at the same time his fingers tortured her intimately. The combination of sensations was as erotic as it was sweet and Amelia totally gave in to the feelings, surrendering to her husband with desire and selfless abandon.

When it felt like her body would explode from so much pleasure, Amelia felt Owen spinning her around in his arms. His lips claimed hers in an eager kiss that robbed Amelia from her thoughts at the same time his hands grasped her butt cheeks, roughly pulling her body against his. She had to stand on the tips of her toes and even then couldn't make up for their height difference,feeling delirious at the amazing sensation of her breasts colliding against Owen's solid chest.

When he finally pulled away, allowing both of them to catch some air, Amelia ran her palms on the extension of his arms, rejoicing in his firm, masculine angles. Owen's entire body was solid, with broad shoulders, a strong torso and muscular thighs. Whenever he was drowning in pleasure like that, looking as if he could devour her at any moment, Amelia felt completely turned on by his raw masculinity. Unable to resist it, she ran her palms on his chest and neck, capturing his jaw to pull Owen for another long, deep kiss.

When they finally pulled apart again, Owen noticed the intensity of her gaze, unable to ignore how red her lips were or how soft her skin felt at his touch. But when their eyes finally met, it was Amelia's expression of bliss that completely won him over.

"Whatever it is that you want from me with that smile," Owen wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, "the answer is yes."

Amelia chuckled, feeling immensely happy and overtaken with aching love. It had been long weeks since she could enjoy actually making love to her husband instead of hurriedly having sex whenever they caught a break in their intensely busy routine.

"You," She moaned against his lips before running her fingers on the back of his neck in an intimate caress, completely determine to seduce Owen and prolong that amazing time together for as long as she could. "All I want is you."

Her plot worked exactly as expected because at the sound of her words, Owen hungrily kissed her lips, running his hand on every tiny bit of Amelia's body. They spent the following minutes playfully exploring each other's bodies with sensual kisses and experienced touches in completely synchrony. Amelia used shower gel to teasingly rub her husband's body, laughing along when he accused her of being a professional torturer. When the foreplay was finally over, Owen easily lifted her from the floor, making Amelia wrap her legs around him at the same time he walked with her to the large bed they would be sharing for the following days.

"That's an upgrade," Amelia joked, looking up at Owen with mirth as he covered her body with his, gently caressing her hair. The comfort of the soft bed didn't compare to the tiny one they'd had to share the previous night. "We'll sleep much better tonight."

"Sleeping is the last thought on my mind right now," Owen confessed, parting her legs with his thigh before burying his face on the curve of her neck. He had waited too long to love her again and no matter how many times he did it, it would never be enough.

Amelia giggled and let out a muffled scream when Owen playfully bit her. She felt his hardened body against the middle of her thighs and before he could even react, she rolled on his top, welcoming his body in hers at the same time she leaned over to kiss his lips.

Owen made no objections and relaxed back on the bed, feeling the delicious movement of her hips on his as Amelia intensified her rhythm. He patiently waited for his wife to reach climax before releasing himself inside of her, absolutely numbed by the intensity of his desire for her.

"Are you tired?" Amelia asked mischievously after a few minutes, grabbing his hand and planting a wet kiss on his open palm, in a very intimate and erotic manner. Owen saw what she was doing and he had to resort to all self control he possessed to stop himself from capturing her beneath him and making love to her again immediately. "Do you want to go to sleep?"

"Will you let me?" Owen playfully asked, rubbing his thumb on her cheek, mesmerized by her beauty and how much he adored her. Amelia drove him completely crazy and he loved every minute of it.

"No," His wife said with determination before bending over to touch her forehead to his. Owen let out a loud chuckle and blamed himself for being surprised. Amelia had a never ending energy and he should know better by now. "You might be surprised to hear this but," She joked, showering his face with lazy kisses, determined to make the most out of the evening that was far from being over. "I've just figured out that sleeping also happens to be the last thought on my mind right now."

—


	4. Chapter 4

**My Boys: Beneath the Surface** **– Chapter 4**

Owen looked at his reflection in the mirror, splashing his face with more water when he finished brushing his teeth. Even though he hadn't slept that many hours, he felt unusually rested. The house was silent but it was to be expected at such an early hour in the morning.

After the exhausting afternoon they'd had the day before, Owen knew that the kids wouldn't wake up for at least another couple of hours. Without much left to do, he went back the bedroom, involuntarily smiling once he realized how fast asleep his wife still was. It was very rare for Amelia to wake up after he had and it wasn't often that Owen saw her so knocked out. She was worn out and he was proud of it.

As Owen made himself comfortable under the covers, he let out an amused chuckle at the coincidences of life. Amelia was lying on her stomach, comfortably hugging a pillow with her bare back exposed to him. His mind traveled back to years before, when, in the privacy of his trailer, he and Amelia had had their first night together.

Careful not to wake her, Owen moved closer and gently pulled a lock of hair from her eyes, unable to stop himself from caressing her. He bent over a little and breathed her in, enjoying the familiar aroma of vanilla shampoo. As Owen studied the delicate curves of the muscles on her back, he couldn't help drawing parallels between their lives before and now.

When he had been with Amelia for the first time, there was only so much he knew about her. Important things, of course, but his most flagrant feelings at the time had been a mix of attraction, admiration and curiosity. He'd felt like a love struck schoolboy back then, acting all awkwardly around her because never in his life would Owen have imagined that he would come to care so much about a woman without first being in a relationship with her. He wasn't the kind of guy who historically had sex just for the sake of it. Of course Owen'd had his share of one night stands as a single guy, but he had always been much more comfortable going to bed with someone he actually knew and cared about.

When Owen closed his eyes and thought about the memory, in his mind he could almost see Amelia's hand slightly trembling as she had reached out to touch him that night. He remembered vividly how she'd held back their first time, alarming him, for he'd always thought Amelia would be completely giving and wild in bed. And because she always found a way to surprise him, the morning after, when he'd made love to her again, she'd gone from moderately quiet to deliciously playful. The way she had smiled at him during sex all the while looking into his eyes had made Owen lose his mind and heart completely.

And after all those years, it still did.

Back then, over the weeks to follow, as she became more at ease while they found out more about each other, Amelia had held back less and less. And being with her had progressively gotten better. Amelia was inventive, generous and he loved that his wife openly admitted to him how much she enjoyed sex.

Owen thought back at how she'd given herself to him with complete abandon just the night before. He knew that years of solid trust and mutual admiration were intimately connected to that. Even though Amelia had been a crazy party girl once, with him, the sex had never been purely physical, even on their first time and that was something Owen felt proud of.

With a wide smile lingering on his face, the trauma surgeon bent over and kissed his wife's cheek, knowing he probably looked like a fool admiring her. Amelia's face was relaxed and voided of any worry lines. She looked adorably young and fresh with her porcelain white skin healthily glowing at the dim light coming from the bathroom. Before Owen noticed it, his lips gently brushed on the side of her face at the same time he splayed his hand on the smooth skin of her back, smoothly rubbing up and down.

Amelia woke up when his lips nipped the curve of her earlobe. Owen noticed the smile of satisfaction that lazily formed on her lips at his touch, around the same time she slowly stretched out her muscles.

"I didn't mean to wake you," he whispered in her ear, genuinely bothered by it. "I'm sorry, go back to sleep." Owen added, wrapping one arm tightly around her body and kissing the back of her neck with affection.

Amelia kept the smile on her face as she took in a deep breath and slowly released it in a relaxing yawn. Owen noticed the frown on her face that followed and before he could ask about it, Amelia gently turned her head in his direction.

"Oh my God, I fell asleep completely naked," She realized, visibly distressed by it. Amelia was always careful to put some clothes on after they'd had sex because she never knew when one of the kids would go to their room in the middle of the night or early in the morning.

"No one is complaining," Owen replied with a dirty grin, starting a trail of kisses on her back.

Amelia laughed at the way his unshaved face was tickling her skin and arched her body in response, not bothering to hide how much she was enjoying his touch.

"It's not fair that I am naked and you're already fully dressed," She teased, rolling to her side and wrapping both arms around his neck.

"I can take them off," Owen said, pointing to his clothes at the same time she brushed her lips on the corner of his. "But I'd rather you did," He added with a mischievous grin.

Amelia cracked up laughing and happily obliged, enjoying another hour of amazing lovemaking before they finally left the bed for the day.

.

After breakfast, Owen went to play tennis with Thomas like he'd promised the day before. Amelia was lying down by one of the pool lounge chairs, enjoying a fruity alcohol-free cocktail with Zola when she saw her husband and son coming back from the tennis court, both with their faces flushed from the sun and the exercise. The duo joined the rest of the kids, who were just about to start a soccer game on the grass. With a smile on her face, Amelia listened to the conversation playing out as the twins played rock, paper or scissors to divide the teams. Danny won and unsurprisingly he chose Lucas first. After Robbie picked out Bailey, Danny immediately said he wanted Ellis on his team.

"Ellis?" Thomas took a step forward, looking outraged for being last pick. "Ellis has never played soccer in her entire life," The eleven year old argued.

"She can't be worse than you," Danny argued.

"No one can," Robbie agreed, letting out a sigh once he realized he was stuck with Thomas.

The eleven year old looked around to each of his siblings and cousins, but seeing Danny's opinion was consensual among everyone, shrugged his shoulders in defeat.

"Fine, I'll just be a goalie…" Thomas dragged his feet to the edge of the field, playfully rolling his eyes.

Amelia heard when the kids asked for Owen to fill in so the teams would be even. Laughing along with Zola, she watched from distance as Lucas dribbled past Robbie, Bailey and then Thomas, on purpose passing the ball to Megan who, left alone in front of the goal, needed only one easy kick to score. The little girl spent the rest of the afternoon pestering everyone how she'd scored the goal that had led her team to victory and Amelia had to playfully pretend Lucas was saying something outrageous when he pointed out that it was no surprise Megan was that competitive, considering who was her biggest female role model.

.

Later that day, Amelia finished putting on her earrings while looking at Zola with a heavy frown on her face.

"Are you sure you guys don't want to go? I mean, I can…"

"Aunt, it's fine," Zola interrupted her, helping Amelia to clasp her necklace. "Megan has fallen asleep, she played so much she is exhausted. Robbie and Danny have chosen Harry Potter for a movie night. I don't mind staying with them at all."

"But we're meeting Nancy's fiancé," Amelia justified. "You guys should be there too."

"I'd much rather stay here for the movie marathon," Lucas pointed out, coming from the kitchen with a huge bowl of popcorn. "I mean, come on, it's Harry Potter. I doubt Aunt Nancy's fiancé is as cool as him."

As Bailey tried to get a handful from the bowl, Lucas dodged the assault, making popcorn fall all over the carpet while his cousin chased after him.

"Guys, cut it off," Amelia warned them, tying the straps to her shoes. "Okay, so anything happens you call me," She asked Zola. Nancy's house was just two blocks from the rented house, so Owen and Amelia could come back in a heartbeat if necessary. "I'll leave some money if you guys want to order pizza later. The twins are very likely falling asleep during the movie," Amelia instructed her niece as she took some money from the purse and gave it to the teenager. "Don't bother carrying them upstairs, they're too heavy, your uncle will take care of that later," Amelia finished taking a look around, seeing all the kids gathered around the big TV screen while Megan comfortably slept on a couch nearby. "Alright, we won't be late."

"Don't worry about us," Zola assured her. "We'll be fine. Ellis, Bailey and I are used to this."

"I know," Amelia replied with honesty, aware that Zola meant being on their own. Her niece was almost eighteen and she was a responsible and mature girl. Amelia knew the youngest ones would be fine under her watch.

After saying good night to each of the kids, they left towards her sister's house. Amelia had been there a couple of times, but the opulence of Nancy's home had always been a little overwhelming. When they rang the door bell and a dressed up house maid opened the door, Amelia tried to hide her laughter, exchanging looks with Owen. She noticed that despite amused, he was silently censoring her for laughing. Wondering if her sister could be more of a cliché, Amelia was guided to the room where the rest of her family was already engaged in lighthearted conversations.

The minute Nancy saw them, she took a step forward, introducing her fiancé, a man who looked at least a decade older than her but at least twice as nice. Kathleen, who had been jilted by her husband when he'd left her for a young secretary years before, proudly stood alone next to her mother and Liz, whose husband was just as charismatic and engaging. Amongst introductions and affectionate handshakes, Amelia's eyes finished scanning the room, finding a slim, broad shouldered man with light brown hair, dark elegant glasses, and a pair of chestnut brown eyes she was very familiar with.

"William?!"

Owen heard his wife's voice in a mix of excitement and disbelief and he was a bit surprised when she took a few steps forward, involving the stranger in a warm hug.

"Oh my God," She pulled apart with a wide smile on her face, her eyes glowing at the sight of the estranged man who looked to be around the same age as her. "I haven't seen you in forever! How've you been?"

"It's so good to see you," The man replied with a sincere smile. "I'm doing very well, and you? I haven't heard from you in forever…"

Owen watched as Carolyn Shepherd joined the conversation. Soon enough Owen gathered that his mother in law was close friends with the guy's mother and apparently, the two women talked very often. A few more minutes of reminiscing conversation went by and then finally Amelia turned around with an apologetic look.

"I am sorry," She excused herself, looking Owen in the eye with genuine regret. "I didn't introduce you," She grabbed Owen's hand firmly and her voice sounded proud when she added with a smile, "Will, this is my husband, Owen Hunt." Amelia then looked from Owen to the brown haired guy. "This is William Hartley. He and I know each other since we were kids. Will is a neurologist and runs his practice here in New Canaan."

Owen stretched out his arm, giving the guy a firm handshake and a polite head nod, but even though he looked polished and appropriately mannered, Owen felt some kind of weird energy lingering in the air.

"I've been trying to convince your wife all my life to come back to the East Coast and come work with me," William said with good humor, looking from Owen to Amelia with a smile. "But she is too stubborn and turned me down repeatedly."

Something in the man's tone of voice made Owen sure that Amelia hadn't turned him down professionally only. And before Owen could control it, he instantly developed an aversion for the neurologist who apparently had done nothing wrong.

"I read your latest study comparing parvalbumin levels on acute hemorrhagic stroke patients," Amelia said, genuinely interested in the topic. "I bet those ass kissers at Hopkins flipped when you published the study they'd been postponing to look into for years…"

Owen tried his hardest not to roll his eyes at the boring subject. Amelia didn't realize how excited she always got whenever she started talking about her field of study and it was hard to convince her that most people didn't find the subject as interesting as she did. But having found someone who obviously shared that passion, it was no surprise she'd be excitedly discussing it for as long as she could.

"Amelia, enough with the brainy talk," Kathleen cut them off with a smile, but it was obvious she meant it. "Let Will breathe for a while."

Amelia turned around and found her sister's gaze, suddenly feeling like a reprimanded child at the unnecessary attack. Owen noticed it too and he gazed at Kathleen without bothering to hide his disapproval. No one had the right to point out how boring his wife's favorite topic of conversation was, no matter how completely dull everyone found it.

"I don't mind at all," William politely replied, looking from Kathleen to Amelia with a smile on his face as he held a glass of scotch in his hands, hoping no one would notice how affected he was by Amelia's smile, even after so many years. "In fact, it is also one of my favorite subjects and I am flattered someone as known in the field as Amelia has read my paper. Very few people I talk to seem to understand it or be fascinated by it as much as the topic deserves."

Owen watched the smile of sympathy and gratitude his wife gave to the guy in return and couldn't help closing his fist a little tighter than necessary. Soon after, as the conversation went from science to children, Owen relaxed a bit. He heard as both Nancy and Kathleen spoke about their kids, who were now fully grown up and already had finished their college degrees, while Liz and her husband cheerfully shared stories about her youngest, who was only a couple of months older than Zola.

"I really miss having kids at home," Carolyn confessed with a sad smile. Her house had always been full with her children and then grandchildren. But now they were all grown up and had either gone to college or were living their own lives. Amelia's and Derek's kids were the only ones who were still young enough to attend school and have free time at home. "I really wish I saw the boys and Megan more often," The elder woman said, looking suggestively at Amelia.

Seeing how Amelia had chosen that exact moment to take a sip from her water glass, avoiding her mother's comment on purpose, Owen quickly stepped in.

"You should come to Seattle whenever you feel like it, Carolyn," He nodded with sincerity. "All of you should," He looked around at each of Amelia's sisters. "We have a big house and there's plenty of space… I am sure the kids would love to spend more time with all of you."

Amelia's sisters tried to hide their surprise at Owen's statement and before he could figure out what the expression on their faces meant, Kathleen casually asked:

"Do you have contact with your family, Owen?"

The trauma surgeon had no idea the Shepherd women thought of him as an uninterested family man but he realized how unusually curious all of them were at his answer. Once again, before he could process what their body language meant, his thoughts were interrupted.

"We do," Amelia evasively replied to the question that had been directed to her husband, putting a charming smile on her face to distract her sisters. Her eyes then scanned the room, searching for William, the only neutral topic she could think of. "You know, Will, it has always surprised me how you've managed to stay single after all these years… With so many girls after you, I could bet you'd get hitched before I did."

Everyone assented with head nods and agreeable smiles. But just when Amelia had finally thought she'd found a safe ground to explore, she heard Nancy's teasing voice.

"But don't fool yourself thinking Will never got married because he never got over what you did to him," Nancy smiled, her voice void of any trace of malice, even though her words unknowingly carried a lot of weight. She looked from her sister to William with an amused smile, thinking how her adorable next door neighbor was often seen in the company of beautiful women. "I can tell you as a witness that Will _has_ moved on. Repeatedly."

Nancy's snarky, lighthearted comment caused a round of laughter and Owen thought he was the only one who noticed the discomfort in his wife's smile. But Carolyn had too. She had been looking at her son in law the moment Nancy made the comment and judging by Owen's confused expression, he probably wasn't aware that William Hartley had once been in a relationship with the woman who was now his wife.

"You grew up in Seattle, didn't you, Owen?" Carolyn revived the previous topic, as a way to get Amelia out of the embarrassing situation she'd been put in. "Does all of your family still live there?"

"I did, yes," Owen's face went from grim to serene when he looked back at his wife's mother. "Most of my family still lives there. Cousins, aunts, uncles… My mom lives about five minutes from us, actually."

"Really?" Carolyn Shepherd asked with interest, feeling a wave of unknown emotions taking over her. "I remember Amelia mentioning you guys are often in touch with her but I had no idea she lived that close to you."

"She really loves Amelia," Owen affectionately put his hand on his wife's knee, giving it a gentle squeeze after confessing with pride what he supposed her own mother would be happy to hear.

"That's lovely," Carolyn Shepherd swallowed hard, feeling a lump on her throat. "It's nice knowing my baby girl has family there too. It's very hard being on your own." Amelia's mother added, looking deeply into her eyes. Amelia knew the meaning of her words went beyond physical distance.

Owen replied with an assurance head nod. Evelyn Hunt had always helped them out a lot, and still did. He was glad his mother in law apparently cared enough about her daughter to make a comment pointing out she was glad Amelia had people who were there for her. His wife's family didn't seem at all like the cold, unloving people she'd always accused them of being. And Owen felt compelled to allow them into their lives and get to know the Shepherds better, hoping this would be a two way street.

"Your daughter is very popular back home…" Owen smiled with affection, hoping it would make Carolyn glad and encourage her to visit them more often. "I can't blame her, though… After Amelia miraculously removed my mom's brain tumor right when Meg was born, I had to painfully admit that I am no longer her favorite."

"You what?" Her sisters and mother looked at Amelia at the same time, but it was Liz who spoke. She studied her youngest sister's face for a few seconds, allowing Amelia the chance to clarify the situation, hoping there had been a misunderstanding. But when Amelia proudly sustained her gaze without saying a word, Liz seemed deeply offended as she asked, "How come you never told us about any of this?"

Owen held his breath, instantly realizing he had unintentionally stirred up more awkwardness in the conversation by bringing unilateral information. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined that Amelia had failed to mention to her relatives such an important event, especially considering Evelyn's surgery had coincided with Megan's birth. The trauma surgeon noticed his wife opening her mouth to speak, visibly hesitating.

"You know, Amy, this is exactly what we mean when we complain that you completely shut us out," Kathleen let out a heavy sigh. "You operated on your mother in law's brain and didn't bother telling us?" The psychiatrist of the family shook her head in denial before adding, "When was this exactly? Why didn't you tell us?"

Owen noticed by the tone of his sister in law's voice that she seemed extremely disappointed and judging by the look on her Nancy's and Liz's faces, they all shared the feeling. Amelia felt familiarly being put against a wall. She couldn't dismiss the subject and pretend it wasn't a big deal, because Owen was there and not only would he be suspicious of her attitude, he would also want to know why she was lying, because they both knew just how much Evelyn meant to Amelia. And if she'd told the truth about how worried and frightened she'd been at the possibility of losing her mother in law, her family would be once again offended that she kept them out of her life.

"I forgot to tell you." Amelia childishly improvised.

"You _forgot_?" Nancy's eyebrows showed her disbelief. "Amy, you are unbelievable…" The oldest sister shook her head in clear disapproval.

Amelia felt her face getting flushed with anger. It had taken them long enough. She wondered if she would ever spend more than a few hours with her family without being publicly reminded of how much of a disappointment she was.

"Owen's mother is fine now, by the way," The neurosurgeon replied bitterly, making sure everyone was aware of the sarcasm in her voice when she added, "Thank you for asking."

"Owen has just said she is, that's not what I…" Nancy started to reply but was interrupted by the figure of the maid walking into the room to let her boss know dinner was ready to be served.

If Nancy had had the chance to complete her sentence, she would've explained that their outrage wasn't just their egos hurt for Amelia shutting them out completely, but also how mortified they'd been to abruptly find out about something so huge. Amelia was the baby in their family and they would always excessively worry about her. Nancy couldn't begin to think how operating on her mother in law's brain must have been incredibly difficult on Amelia, especially if Owen's mother had had a life threatening condition. Nancy had wished to express how her sisters and mother wished they would have been given a chance to share some of that emotional load with Amelia and be there for her, considering Owen was far too involved in the drama to be able to give Amelia comfort too. But years of miscommunication, prejudice and rushed assumptions got in the way of all of that, once again making a heavy discomfort linger in the air throughout the entire meal.

Owen noticed how his wife purposefully sat next to William Hartley, interacting almost exclusively with him during dinner. Apparently, they had much more in common than simply their field of study, because the two doctors happily reminisced about adolescence memories for over an hour and then the guy filled Amelia in on the recent life events of a lot of people they apparently knew and Owen didn't.

A couple of hours later, as they walked back to the house, Amelia noticed how broody Owen looked. He'd stayed silent throughout most of dinner, opening his mouth only to reply to the questions Nancy's fiancé had asked to politely insert him on the conversation. Amelia knew Owen probably had a lot of questions in his head, especially about William, but she didn't feel at all like giving any answers. Somehow, the neurosurgeon felt a bit betrayed that her husband had inadvertently shared with her family how close they were to his own and even though she knew Owen's intentions had been the best, somehow his lack of tactfulness had made her angry at him too. Rationally, Amelia knew it wasn't his fault because Owen had repeatedly tried to get them closer to her family but she had always stopped it from happening. And now, Amelia's family had probably figured that her excuses of always saying she was busy in order to avoid seeing them as much as she could were probably invalid, considering how much time she spent with Owen's family instead.

Luckily for her, Owen kept busy with carrying the twins and Megan upstairs while she helped the oldest kids clean up the popcorn bowls and pizza boxes scattered around the TV room. When she went to their room, Owen was silently finishing brushing his teeth near the suite. After she walked in, he came out without saying a word. Amelia stayed in the bathroom for an unusually long period of time, on purpose avoiding him. At her return to the room, she found her husband with his eyes closed, obviously already fully turned down for the night.

Only when Amelia got in bed and noticed his back turned to her, some of the anger and disappointment that were clouding her judgment slowly faded, allowing her to realize for the first time what was really happening. She had had an awful evening in the company of her family, which wasn't at all a surprise. But Owen had just given her a signal that meant the amazing and lighthearted bubble of intimacy and partnership they'd been enjoying earlier that same day definitely wasn't going to make another appearance any time soon.

And that was the thought that hurt Amelia the most before she finally turned off the lights in their room that evening.

–


	5. Chapter 5

**My Boys: Beneath the Surface** **– Chapter 5**

Amelia finished washing the breakfast dishes and distractedly leaned against the back door arch, folding her arms in front of her body at the same time her eyes observed the backyard.

At a close distance, the kids played in the pool, obviously having a great time away from school and their everyday activities. Amelia was genuinely happy that her kids were enjoying themselves and for a few minutes she forgot all about her own troubles, keeping busy just watching them.

Ever since they'd made it back from her sister's home the night before, things hadn't exactly been good between Owen and her. He had woken up a little later than she and it was obvious he was still upset because her husband hadn't even bothered to say good morning, which was very unusual. He'd only spoken to her once every few minutes after breakfast, offering to do the dishes but Amelia instantly refused, eagerly looking for something to keep busy with.

Soon after, Owen had gone with the kids to the pool and she'd been left to wonder what exactly was going on. The events of the previous night replayed in her head and she figured Owen must have been extremely displeased at the way she had childishly ignored him during the entire dinner. Not only had Amelia done that, she had also kept busy talking to a person Owen had never met before, but who he had probably figured once meant something in her past, after the comments her sisters made.

Amelia knew that even though Owen could be jealous, he often didn't act on it, which sometimes could backfire because instead of expressing his sentiments, he would just silently reveal his discontent through a very annoying foul mood. Whenever Owen was dissatisfied, for whatever reason it may be, it was very common that his smiles and easy manners vanished, giving room to a heavy frown and the total inability to say something pleasant

Amelia knew she wasn't exactly easy either, but Owen's stubbornness and his very masculine response to simply close off completely drove her angry, sometimes irrationally making her act out even more in an attempt to pester him just to see if he would lose his mind and open his mouth. It wasn't the best approach, she knew, because it often made Owen even angrier, but it was usually very effective.

Her thoughts were distracted by the rushing caravan of kids that ran by her, startling Amelia completely. First Thomas, then Ellis and last one of the twins came running from the living room, all three carrying what looked like inflatable balloons. The oldest kids slipped through Amelia's grasp but Danny wasn't able to escape his mother, being unexpectedly held back.

"Mom," He complained when Amelia showered his head with kisses. "You're making me late to the war."

"The war?" Amelia raised one eyebrow at the eight year old, sitting down on the back porch steps, still not letting go of him on purpose.

"The water balloon war," Danny explained with a wide smile.

Amelia let out an amused chuckle at the undeniable expression of happiness on her son's face. She took her time to give him one last squeeze, enjoying watching him run to the pool. Just like their siblings, the twins were healthy and lively kids, but while Lucas, Thomas and Megan were slimmer, Robbie and Danny had a delicious small share of baby fat that Amelia loved to squeeze.

The neurosurgeon spent the rest of her morning watching her family from a distance, wondering when it would be the best time to talk to her husband without turning their passive aggressive distance into a heated argument.

.

Later that evening, Amelia was still distracted with her own thoughts as she sat down with Megan, Danny and Robbie, surrounded by books and pencils. The kids were quietly drawing and coloring, visibly tired after spending the entire day outside. The sudden ring coming from the doorbell brought Amelia back to reality, and leaving the three younger kids in the living room, she got up and went to answer the door.

"Liz!" Amelia's voice showed her surprise as her sister took one step forward to quickly hug her. "What is going on? Are you okay?"

Since it was a Monday night, Amelia didn't expect to find her sister still in Connecticut. Both Liz and Kathleen had come over for the weekend but after the dinner party at Nancy's were scheduled to return to their homes, being expected only a few days later for Nancy's wedding later that weekend.

"Yeah," Liz replied with a cheerful smile, coming inside after being instructed to do so by Amelia. "I just finished work a little early and I thought to myself, 'why don't I drive over to see my baby sister'? I never see you, so I thought since you're here, it'd be nice to spend some time just us," Liz confessed, wondering if it'd been a good idea after all. "I'm sorry, I should have called."

"No, no, no," Amelia quickly changed the expression on her face, going from intrigued to genuinely happy. "I'm glad you came. Come in, the kids are here."

Liz sheepishly followed her sister to the living room, taking her time to say hi to the twins and Megan. After explaining that the oldest kids were somewhere probably playing videogames, Amelia made them coffee. Soon after, the two sisters sat next to each other on the big fluffy couch in the living room, idly gazing at the children who still played.

"Do you ever ask yourself how did you end up like mom?" Liz asked with a smile, still looking at the children.

"What?" Amelia replied immediately, sounding almost offended.

"With so many kids," Liz explained with a naughty smile, apparently having fun with the fact that her sister hadn't liked being compared to their mother.

"Oh," Amelia blushed, feeling embarrassed for her obvious rejection at being equalized to Carolyn. "Not really, actually," She chuckled and turned her head sideways to look into her sisters' eyes. "I mean, I've always kind of wanted a big family."

"Me too," Liz confessed, silently starring at the other woman for long seconds, as if hesitating. Finally, the older sister decided to talk. "I'm really happy that you seem happy, Amy."

Amelia embarrassingly bit her bottom lip, not quite knowing what to say. Liz had always been the kindest one of her siblings. And even though at that moment things were a bit shaken up in Amelia's life, she couldn't deny that for all that was worth, in her daily life she was happier than most people she knew.

"What about you?" The neurosurgeon asked, enjoying the quiet time she was having with her sister. "Are you happy?"

"Yeah," Liz nodded affirmatively with what looked like honesty. "I am."

Amelia knew her sister was always very busy splitting her time between her seven kids, her marriage and work as a public health specialist for the state of New York.

"How is work?" Amelia asked with a naughty grin. The other four Shepherd siblings had always made fun of Liz for the medical specialty she'd chosen. "Still constantly on the edge of your seat?"

"Absolutely," Liz replied with playful sarcasm. "You know how busy epidemiologists are. There's just too much excitement… Charts, data, computer programs…" She added with a grin. "And you thought that burst aneurysms were the real deal."

Amelia threw her head back in a fit of laughter, genuinely enjoying her sister's company. She couldn't remember the last time she and Liz had been alone together. The harder she thought about it, the more she came to the conclusion that it had probably been before she was even in college.

"You should really come here more often," Liz decided with a happy smile. "It wasn't until last night that I realized how boring and predictable our family dinners had become without you there to shake things up."

"What?" Amelia scoffed with playful pretense. Even though her sister was accusing her of stirring up trouble, by the tone in Liz's voice, the neurosurgeon could tell she wasn't being made fun of.

"Secretly operated on the mother in law… Didn't tell husband that the guy he shook hands with was the one you lost your virginity to… Yeah I know all about that," Liz added when she noticed the shock on Amelia's face.

"I didn't tell you that William was my first!" Amelia chided, horrified.

"You didn't have to," Liz tried her best not to laugh at her little sister's mortified expression. "Nancy did."

"I never told Nancy," Amelia argued.

"Well, one of you two did," Liz playfully added, recovering from laughter. "It doesn't surprise me though… Will is her neighbor and close friend. I bet they talk a lot about you."

"About me?" Amelia inquired, finding it strange.

"Well, he's often there to dinner when we're at Nancy's and I've heard him asking her or mom about you a couple of times. Weren't you surprised that he knows you're married, has five kids and all of that?"

"I don't know. I guess…" Amelia replied with a shrug of her shoulders, realizing she hadn't even thought about that.

"Not that there's too much to tell, really," Liz said with a grin, obviously bickering. "You never tell us much anyways."

Amelia playfully rolled her eyes in response and nudged her sister's shoulder with hers.

"There's nothing _to_ tell," She confessed, but the shadow behind the blue of her eyes as she said the words didn't go unnoticed. "I've been out and about… I finally settled down. Got married. Had kids. Wasn't that the plan all along?" Amelia joked.

"Yeah, I guess it was…" Liz replied with a smile, obviously being assaulted by childhood memories too. "Not that I am surprised, really. I've always had a feeling you'd be the most successful of all."

"What?" Amelia frowned, looking for traces of irony in her sister's voice, but finding none. "What are you talking about? Derek's career launched much faster than mine, Nancy runs the top rated OB practice in the East Coast and you're not behind eit…"

"That's not the success I meant," Liz interrupted her. "I am not talking about careers. I am talking about personal lives."

"Oh," Amelia furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, taking her time to digest her sister's words. "Well, in that case, you're not behind me, I mean, look at your life… You're happy in your marriage, your kids are all in college or graduated already…"

"Yeah, but that really wasn't a big surprise to anyone that I would get married and settle down, you know," Liz smiled as she looked at her sister. "The big surprise is that _you_ did."

"Only because I used to take a bunch of pills and once actually killed myself against a tree?" Amelia joked, seeing her sister burst out laughing. Unlike Nancy or Kathleen, Liz had always been appreciative of dark humor. "That was just a bad week," Amelia joked, feeling surprisingly good that she had someone who knew about it and with whom she could touch the subject so easily and with good humor.

"Not because of that small detail," Liz joked. "But because you never really stopped anywhere long enough to settle down. To create some roots. You've always been a free spirit."

"You sound like mom," Amelia rolled her eyes.

"Don't say that," Liz gave her a scornful look.

"Why?" Amelia laughed, seeing how much her sister had hated it too. "You still think she doesn't love you?" The neurosurgeon provoked, knowing her older sister had always accused their mother of not loving her enough.

"That's because she doesn't!"

Amelia laughed harder, remembering how her sister had always accused her of stealing all the attention. Since Liz was the fourth child, she was the closest in age to Amelia, but the six year difference had still made a difference while they grew up. Now that they were older and more mature, that age gap didn't really feel like much and Amelia had just realized how much she actually missed her sister.

"How come you've never been to Seattle to visit me?" Amelia asked, surprising herself by how much she actually wanted her sister to go.

"The last time I was there you were still living in…Where was it?" Liz asked with a heavy frown. "Anyways, it was right after Derek had that plane accident."

Amelia stayed silent for a while, breathing in while procession the information. It was sad to realize that at some point in life she'd been so distant from her family that they now had actually a hard time remembering where she was.

"I really miss him," Liz confessed, feeling a lump on her throat at the same time she held her breath, afraid of shedding tears if she let go. "You were the last one of us to see him…" The older realized, staring into distance to avoid Amelia's eyes. "How was he? Was he…?"

"He was doing well," Amelia interrupted her sister, seeing how emotional she was getting. Without thinking, the neurosurgeon reached out and grabbed her sister's hand, giving it a firm squeeze of reassurance. Liz had probably never gotten the chance to talk about it. Even though the Shepherds were a very supportive bunch, they tended to avoid talking about painful topics. Amelia had learned that the hard way. "He never got to find out about Ellie, though," Amelia added, feeling her chest constricting. "I bet he would have been thrilled." She added, looking for her sister's eyes.

"I'm glad he had you there," Liz confessed, tightening her grip on Amelia's hand. "I wish we had got to say goodbye to him, though."

Amelia didn't dare reply to that, because it was something she knew she had never gotten over either. Despite the fact the neurosurgeon was only a phone call away, her brother had been let go and she hadn't been allowed to even talk to him first or review his medical case.

"Alright, enough of this sappiness," Liz decided, wiping off a tear that had insisted on falling. "Tell me about your life. Your kids are so god damn adorable," The older sister added with a sincere smile. "Look at these two little Vikings," Liz smile widened when she stared at the twins. "My God, they're the spitting image of Owen."

"They are," Amelia agreed with a smile of adoration to her boys.

"I was really surprised last night when you mentioned you're close to Owen's family," Liz confessed, slightly jealous. "I didn't expect to hear that at all."

Amelia swallowed hard, hoping her sister didn't notice how the topic made her uncomfortable. She didn't want her sisters or mother to feel bad at the obvious conclusion that Amelia preferred to spend time with Owen's family than with them.

"Why not?"

"Well…" Liz embarrassingly confessed, belatedly realizing she'd been excessively honest. "I just never really realized Owen had family there. I thought he was single and alone when you met him."

Amelia let out a chuckle, seeing the absurdity of the situation.

"Owen is very dedicated to our family," Amelia put it simply. If she dwelled too much on the subject, Liz would end up questioning why they hardly ever showed up at family events and Amelia didn't exactly want to answer that.

"How is he as a husband?" Her sister upfront asked, genuinely concerned about the answer.

Amelia noticed the loyalty and worry on Liz's eyes and felt grateful for it. She didn't really have to ponder on the question much, because the answer was pretty easy.

"Very good," The neurosurgeon replied with undeniable affection, feeling stupid because she could feel herself blushing. Growing up, Amelia had always been sassy, confident and even a bit unaffected, so she felt silly to be flagrantly confessing something like that, especially when it was obvious all over her face how she truly felt. "I honestly can't say how lucky I feel to have him."

"Well, is he good in bed?" Liz raised both her eyebrows, enjoying grilling her baby sister like that. She noticed how Amelia cracked up laughing and kept staring at her, as if patiently waiting for an answer. There was a lot about her sister's husband that Liz didn't know about but she was excited to find out.

"Good doesn't begin to describe it," Amelia confessed with a dirty expression and very suggestively opened her palms apart. "I know what you're thinking, he is all uptight and serious, but boy he can be nasty."

"No way," Liz laughed hysterically, not quite believing the size of the gap between her sisters' hands and what it obviously meant.

" _And_ he knows how to make good use of it," Amelia gloated, seeing her sisters burst out laughing, attracting attention from the kids.

"Well, that's no surprise considering he's knocked you up so many times," Liz dried the tears of laughter from her eyes as she lowered her voices to avoid being heard from the trio.

"Look who's talking," Amelia rolled her eyes playfully, watching as the kids went back to coloring.

"How am I ever going to look your husband in the eye and not remember this conversation?" Liz asked, still laughing.

"Well, as long as you don't keep imaging what's inside his pants, I'm good with it," Amelia shamelessly added.

"You're hopeless," Liz realized, having more fun than she ever imagined she would. "Hopeless. I've thought you'd changed," The older sister smiled with pride and affection. "But damn, it's good to see you're still you."

Amelia felt touched by her sister's words and was thinking of what to say when she spotted her husband coming down the stairs, attracted to the living room by the sound of a familiar voice he couldn't quite identify.

"Liz," He seemed as surprised as Amelia to see her there. "Hey," He walked over to her and after a quick hi sat on an arm chair opposite to them, closer to the kids. "Is everything okay? I had no idea you were here or I would have come downstairs sooner."

"That's okay, Amy and I were just talking… She was just telling me what an exemplary husband you are."

When Owen noticed the semi embarrassed look on his wife's face and how her sister visibly suppressed her laughter, he realized there was much more to the conversation than casual comments.

"I see," He frowned, wondering if they were making fun of him. His gaze met Amelia's for what felt like the first time that day and even though Owen was still angry about the way she had childishly ignored him, he lingered his eyes on her face, glad to realize she was obviously enjoying her sister's company. And at the same time Owen felt like he should say something to add to the conversation, his pride also believed Amelia should talk to him first, considering she'd been the one to start that stupid situation.

"It's all very true," His wife's voice interrupted his inner battle for coming up with something to say. Owen looked at her and realized the traces of playfulness had gone from her face as she starred back at him with a mix of loving affection and a bit of embarrassment. "You really are the most amazing husband, babe."

Owen took in a deep breath, delighted at how wicked smart his wife was. He let out a breath through his nose, unable to hide his amusement. Amelia knew he was angry, but she also knew he wouldn't make a scene in front of her sister. She had charmingly used the situation in her favor and her words were an attempt at sneaking into his good graces without actually having to admit to anything, because she knew that he wasn't angry enough to ignore her flattering comments and prolong that fight, especially when they had company.

"I must be the most patient too," Owen gave up completely and genuinely smiled at her, feeling his anger slowly fading. "You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

Liz was confused when Amelia chuckled and bit her bottom lip, silently admitting to something she had no idea what. The three adults talked about lighter subjects for the following twenty minutes and only when Danny fell asleep holding a colorful marker half way to the paper, Owen realized it was time to put the kids to bed.

Liz left soon after and Amelia stood by the door seeing off her sister, not quite believing how much she'd enjoyed their time together that evening. Her thoughts were still on how much she wished they could do that more often when Owen returned to the foyer, seeing his wife was still near the front door.

"I didn't know Liz was coming tonight," He said, obviously confused. "If I did, I would have made dinner and…"

"I didn't know either," Amelia interrupted him, noticing how adorable he looked when he thought they weren't being proper hosts. "She just showed up here without notice, but I am glad she did."

"Really?" Owen inquired with a frown. He had never seen Amelia excited about having any contact with her family or spending time with her sisters.

"Yeah, we talked a lot," Amelia confessed, walking up to her husband, defensively embracing herself and rubbing her arms up and down. She stared into his eyes for a few seconds before adding with a naughty smile. "Are we good? Can we just forget everything that happened last night?"

"You mean the way you kept glaring at me and pretending I wasn't there, or how your attitude made me look like a fool in front of your entire family?" Owen ironically replied, visibly grumpy.

Amelia chuckled at how worked up he had gotten over it. It was adorable how much effort Owen was always putting into getting to know her mother and sisters better. Amelia once again remembered of the conversation she'd had with Liz just a few minutes before. Owen really was an amazing man and husband.

Too proud to admit she had indeed ignored and pouted like a child the night before, Amelia took two steps in his direction and smiled mischievously, swiftly wrapping her arms around his waist.

"You are far from looking like a fool," Amelia seductively ran her hand on his back, pressing her body against his. "You are many things, but a fool isn't one of them," She stood on the tip of her toes, on purpose leaning to whisper in his ear.

Owen felt his wife's warm breath against the side of his face and shook his head in denial, clearly reading right through her.

"Witch," He smiled, using one arm to hold her close while the other traveled to her face. "Stop trying to flatter me. I know your family doesn't like me."

Amelia immediately threw her head back, unable to control the fit of laughter that assaulted her.

"I'm sorry, did I say something absurd?" Owen asked, between offended and amused at her reaction.

"Where did you get the idea that my family doesn't like you?" Amelia frowned, not quite getting the absurdity of the situation.

"They always look at me and talk to me like I am the big villain that stole you from them," The trauma surgeon explained. "Besides, your mom and your sisters are always saying how much they wish to see you more often so they probably think it's my fault that they don't." Owen analyzed the situation. "You know, it's all very confusing, Amelia. You always tell me how big of a bully they were to you and how unsupportive they are, and yet when we're with them, it doesn't feel at all like it."

"Well, I wish I could say you'll find out in due time, but hopefully we won't be here long enough for that," Amelia defensively argued, hoping to avoid the subject. She didn't want to let Owen into her past because even though her husband knew a lot about some of the things she'd been through, his good opinion meant everything to Amelia. She didn't want Owen to hear how much of a disappointment to her family she had been. All her life, Amelia had always heard how much she'd let everyone down and the way her family always kept bringing that up every time they saw each other was a constant reminded of her failures. She didn't want Owen to be contaminated by it. And she especially didn't want them to treat him like he was to blame for anything bad, because truth was, her husband was responsible for some of the best things that had ever happened to her.

"Amelia?" Owen let out a heavy sigh, trying his hardest to understand why his wife would talk to him about everything, except the relationship she had with her family.

"Look, we're on vacation, can we just enjoy our vacation? Let's forget about all of this… Forget about my family, let's focus on _our_ family," Amelia proposed with her best begging eyes, smiling adorably to destroy whatever defenses he had left. "Please?"

Owen was frustrated, but just like her, he really didn't feel like fighting. Telling himself someday they would probably need to go back to that conversation, Owen accepted her proposal, gently wrapping her inside his embrace.

"Have the kids fallen asleep?" Amelia asked.

"Only Meg and the twins," Owen spun her around in his arms and kissed her temple, gently guiding her to the hall. "The others are watching a movie, I think. Wanna join them?"

"More than anything," Amelia confessed, playfully biting her husband's knuckles before being followed by him to the TV room.

She found her sons, nieces and nephew scattered around the couches and fluffy chairs, all focused on the giant screen. Amelia sat next to Lucas and snuggled up with him in her arms, quickly catching up on the storyline playing out on the TV.

Even though Amelia couldn't change what had happened to her growing up, she had turned the table around and built a better future. She would much rather let go of what she'd once done and focus on what she had now. And at that moment, it was better to simply forget about all the failure in her past and focus on how successful her present was. The family and the life she'd built with Owen meant everything to her.

And Amelia had absolutely no doubt that she would do whatever it took to make sure that nothing or no one would ever risk changing that.


	6. Chapter 6

**My Boys: Beneath the Surface** **– Chapter 6**

Owen watched a few feet away from him as Amelia frowned with the cell phone on her ear. The sound coming from the TV prevented him for hearing what she was saying, but Owen wasn't all that worried about listening. Instead, he would much rather to be looking.

His wife distractedly paced back and forth in the hallway while talking back to whoever she was having a conversation with over the phone, and the healthy glow on her face after spending the entire day outside in the sun didn't escape Owen's eyes. The colorful pajama shorts exposed her toned, shapely legs and bare feet. The gray tank top she was wearing provided him with a vision of her adorable cleavage, her chest going up and down with every breath as she excitedly spoke. Owen's eyes lingered on her round, petite shoulders and the way her entire body moved as she now laughed at something the person on the line had said.

The trauma surgeon completely gave up on the news reporter who now talked incessantly on the TV, watching his wife with a delighted smile on his face. Even though over the years Amelia had turned into a responsible adult, mom of five and head of department, to him she would always be that lively, smiley young woman who liked to give tight hugs and devoted herself completely to everything that was important to her.

"Owen, you won't believe this, I have the best news ever," Amelia came in his direction with an excited look on her face, "Addie is going to make it to the wedding this weekend! Isn't that amazing?"

He agreed with a head nod, genuinely happy that they would see Addison Montgomery.

"Is Jake coming too? I haven't seen him in a while."

"No, he is not," Amelia said with a somber voice. She knew that as Owen had gotten to know Jake, the two guys shared an affinity. "But at least we'll have good company there!"

Amelia's insult to her family caught his attention and when he noticed the mischievous smile on her face, Owen couldn't help himself any longer. Closing his hand around her fist, he swiftly pulled her into his lap, holding her captive in his arms.

"I thought your friend William was already good enough company?"

Amelia noticed the spark in Owen's eyes as he tried to hide the contempt in his voice, but the way his jaw was tense was a telltale of his absolute antagonism towards the situation.

"Oh, boy, this took long enough to come up," Amelia chuckled with joy, seeing the undeniable signs of jealousy in her husband's eyes and voice. Two days had passed since Liz had showed up and Amelia had used the situation to make peace with Owen, but they hadn't yet talked about the previous Sunday night dinner at Nancy's house and the person who had been introduced to her husband.

"What has?" Owen asked with a serious, ill-tempered voice, unable to hide his discontentment.

"The William talk," Amelia straightforwardly answered, feeling her husband's arms possessively tightening his grip around her. Seeing Owen so worked up was absolutely endearing, because he never admitted to jealousy. Bending over, Amelia surrounded his neck with one arm and looked deeply into his eyes, being charming on purpose. "I'll tell you all about him if you admit you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous," Owen promptly agreed, for the first time feeling annoyed at his wife's adorable dimpled smile.

"Owen," Amelia insisted with stubborn determination, having more fun than she imagined. After seeing his refusal to voice he was jealous, Amelia splayed one of her hands on the curve of his jaw, seductively forcing eye contact with him. "You are so jealous."

"I am not," He insisted, fighting the urge to trap her underneath him on the couch and wipe that silly smug smile off her face with his lips. "I just find it interesting that you like to brag about how you share absolutely everything with me, how you often say it to my face to make me talk to you even when I don't want to, but when it comes to your family you never give me any explanations when I ask you. Not one."

Owen watched as the impact of his words was slowly processed by his wife. He wasn't going to admit to anything because he was sure that once he knew who that silly looking neurologist was, the guy would soon after fall into indifference for him. But since Amelia was pestering him so much, he couldn't help annoying her back, knowing how she avoided the subject like the plague. Preparing himself to hear a ton of accusations and to be stared at with the scorn of icy blue eyes, Owen looked his wife into her eyes expecting to receive a deadly glare back.

"Oh my God, you're such a jerk," Amelia burst out laughing, completely surprising him. Her good mood was contaminating and before he could notice, Owen was genuinely smiling at her. "You are such a pain in the ass, Owen, did you hear what you just said?"

Her laughter was infectious and Owen heard himself laughing too.

"Oh, so when you attack me it's a fair play but when I throw some truths at your face, I'm being an ass?" He raised one eyebrow at her, curious to see how she would deny doing that.

"That's exactly how it works," Amelia surprised him once again, being cute on purpose. She leaned over and kissed his lips with a smile before adding, "I knew you had potential somewhere in you."

"You are unbelievable…" Owen rolled his eyes, feeling her lips playfully kissing him as her muffled laughter echoed in the room.

Silence slowly replaced their words as between Amelia's kisses, Owen sneakily captured her lips with his own, kissing her with erotic intensity. She didn't protest it when his hands firmly grabbed her thighs, shifting her so that Amelia would be straddling his hips. His strong arms pulled her closer, making her chest collide with his as his hand dug through her mass of dark curls.

"See how jealous you are?" Amelia pestered him when Owen finally broke apart, having more fun than before. "That wasn't your _I love you_ kiss, that was your _I need to show you you're mine_ kiss," She reasoned, loving to annoy him.

He looked at her with the impatience of who was trying his best not to lose control.

"Kissing you isn't at all what I do when I am trying to _show you you're mine_ ," Owen warned her. "Wanna see?" He asked her with contained fury.

Amelia noticed the vein pulsating in his neck as his entire face got rigid. He was getting worked up and she knew it.

"I'm waiting for your admission," Amelia musically spoke, aware of the reactions that could follow.

"Why does it matter to you to me hear me say I am jealous?" Owen kicked the ball to her corner.

Amelia frowned, caught by surprise. She didn't have a witty, quick response to that. Her teasing face gently transformed into a frustrated expression.

"Because," She sighed, knowing she was giving him all the power, "I hate it how I always tell you I'm jealous of those women who are always on your back at work, trying to get your attention, and yet you never ever admit to me that you're jealous. How do you think that makes me feel?"

Owen starred at her face, seeing the honesty behind her amazing blue eyes. Amelia was just too generous and affectionate. She was good and modest enough to make a sweet, selfless declaration, while he felt like a heartless bastard. Her loving confession broke all of his defenses.

Amelia was taken aback when Owen's lips touched her in a sweet caress. His hands went from her legs to her face and dug in her dark locks, driving him crazy with her inebriating wonderful smell.

"This is my _I love you_ kiss," He shared with a tender smile, wrapping one arm around her back gently. "I love you and finding out about that guy really bothered me. I don't like the way he looks at you," Owen added, rolling his eyes at the admission. Amelia smiled and bit her lower lip playfully, reveling in the closest thing she would get to a confession from him.

"I know," She smiled lively, leaning over to rest her head on his shoulder. They stayed in comfortable silence for a few seconds while she relaxed against his chest, feeling Owen's hands idly running up and down against her back.

"I want to punch every guy who ever looks at you like _that_ , but I can't, because we don't live in the jungle," Owen confessed after a while, making his wife crack up at his words. "Of course I am jealous of you, Amelia. How can you think I am not?" He added, thinking about her adorable figure and how it perfectly matched her amazing personality.

"You did punch my ex fiancé," She brought her head up to look into his eyes, smiling widely at the memory. Amelia was pregnant with Megan at the time James had briefly moved to Seattle and after he'd inadvertently hurt Amelia's fist by holding her, Owen had gotten a bit too physical with him during a basketball game with the guys from the hospital.

"He is lucky I didn't break his entire face," Owen's jaw got harder when he was clearly assaulted by the same memory as his wife. "I still can't believe he dared to touch, let alone hurt you."

"You're cute when you're jealous," Amelia smiled mischievously.

Owen squeezed her hips in response to her insistence, mesmerized by the happiness stamped in her eyes.

"You're annoying."

"I know."

He let out a chuckle and kissed her temple, feeling his wife nestling closer to him. Soon after, Owen's attention shifted to the reporter on the TV and he stayed quietly laying against the couch with Amelia propped on his lap, relaxing against his chest as his hand idly caressed her hair.

"Why do news reporters in Connecticut always talk like they're the Queen of England?" Amelia complained at their grammar propriety, more focused on their accents than on the news. "They're so preppy…"

"Maybe because they're journalists," Owen replied back, laughing at her indisposition. "Reading and writing is basically their jobs."

"And to think I almost moved out here once," She shook her head in disapproval.

"You did?" Owen raised his eyebrows. That was news to him.

"Yes," Amelia replied with simplicity. "When I almost married William."

"When _what_?"

Amelia let out a chuckle, finally getting to the subject she knew they would eventually have to talk about.

"The house Will lives in right now?" She bit her lower lip in question, seeing Owen give her an assertive nod in response. "Well, he kinda bought it for us to live in."

"Kind of?" Owen didn't think he could be more shocked. Owen tried to organize his thoughts and process the information, but he was so surprised that he just couldn't. "Amelia, were you _engaged_ to him?"

Owen thought he knew about all the important relationships Amelia had had in her life. She had told him all about Ryan and then James, and how she had once committed herself to the trauma physician back in Los Angeles. And Owen had told her about his ex girlfriends, including Beth and his ex wife. But he couldn't process the idea that Amelia had missed out on telling him about someone so important. Someone he hadn't even heard about up until recently.

"We weren't officially engaged, but it was kind of expected of us to get married…" Amelia started out, seeing she wasn't helping her case at all. "Okay, I know you're confused," She said, smiling at how eagerly Owen agreed with a head nod. "I'll just tell you everything from the start."

"Okay," Owen decided, unsure about how he felt in face of the whole situation.

"Okay, so I grew up in Queens, New York, alright? You know that," Amelia sat up and slid over to Owen's side on the couch, keeping her legs on his lap. "Will was one of the kids in the neighborhood. He and his brother went to the same school as we did. Even though my brother and sisters were much older than me, Will was only three years older, so we kind of bonded when I was a teenager." Amelia took a pause to make sure Owen was following up. "We sort of dated when I was in high school and…Well, not really dated. I was only fifteen. We were each other's firsts," Amelia confessed. "He knows about my drug problem," She clarified, seeing in Owen's face he had wondered but was too polite to ask. "In fact I very often used to lash out at him whenever I was having a particularly bad day, poor guy was like a punching bag… "She paused to breathe, feeling deeply regretful about that. "So, at eighteen, I overdosed, nearly killed myself, went to rehab and he was already in Harvard Med. When I got out, I tried for a clean start and decided to give us a chance at a real relationship. You know? I wanted a clean slate, wanted to do the right thing and leave all those awful experiences behind me." She sheepishly admitted. "That's when the whole plans thing started out. Will made a lot of plans," Amelia explained, purposefully hiding the fact that while she had always nurtured fraternal affection towards William, he had always been helplessly in love with her from the day she had broken into his room and had sex with him for the first time when she'd been only fifteen years old just because her friends had talked about sex like it was a big thing and Amelia wanted to prove them wrong. "Of course it didn't work out that well. Not for me, anyway. He was not what I wanted and I was really nasty to him at times…"

"Oh, really?" Owen asked with amused sarcasm, making Amelia playfully slap his arm in response.

"He always did believe we stood a chance though, and when I graduated Harvard, he was already a resident in Mas Gen… I chose to go to Hopkins instead but he never gave up pursuing me. So at the end of my residency, he got the house next to Nancy's the same month he opened his practice. The plan was very simple," Amelia said with a shadow of sadness behind her eyes. "We would get married, live in a rich city in Connecticut, maybe commute to New York for work and have a bunch of kids. All exactly like my brother and sisters did." Amelia confessed, letting out a breath through her nose. "It just felt like the ideal plan, the plan everyone had followed, you know?" She sheepishly asked, looking for Owen's sympathy. Back then, she had been desperately looking to give her family reasons to feel proud of her, something Amelia had felt she never had, that in William's plan, she saw an opportunity to redeem herself for all the sorrow and disappointment she had caused. "So I said yes. I agree to the whole thing and Will was so happy, I don't think I have ever seen him so…" Amelia's voice trailed off as she looked up from her legs to Owen's eyes. "My sisters were too, everyone was thrilled, supporting it and telling me it was the right choice and I believed them," Amelia broke eye contact with her husband, feeling embarrassed. "But then the whole thing just started to feel suffocating, you know? I would wake up in the morning and listen to my mom making wedding plans and I knew, I just _knew_ that wasn't me. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't be happy. So I took off." Amelia confessed, torn between pride and shame. "I accepted a fellow position at Dr. Ginsberg's team and I left."

She looked up to her husband, looking for traces of judgment in his eyes, but found none. Amelia knew she had run many times over in her life, including the day of her wedding. But somehow, from all the people she had ever run from, Owen was the only one she had always come back to.

"So you just broke up with him?" Owen frowned, suddenly feeling sorry for the guy as he tried to process the whole chain of events his wife had told him.

"I called Will and explained. Of course he was heartbroken and I felt really guilty… Then he tried talking me into coming back home a few times and so did my sisters and my mother. At the time, Derek was already in Seattle," She explained.

"So, basically, you did to him the same thing you did to James when you moved from LA to Seattle?" Owen realized, frowning heavily. "Oh, God, Amelia, was there a time in your life when you didn't pull runaway bride?"

"I didn't do it with you!" She complained, offended.

"You did!"

"But I came back," Amelia argued, like that was a winning argument. "So it doesn't count."

Owen stared at her in confusion and the whole absurdity of the situation caught up with him.

"Wait a bit, let me get this straight." He shook his head in confusion. "Did you just say you lost your virginity to that guy?"

When Amelia icily stared at him in return, Owen realized he'd asked the wrong question.

"Of all the things I told you, _this_ is what you absorbed?" She glared at him, nodding her head in disapproval. "Unbelievable, Owen…"

"What?" He scoffed defensively, finding her lovelier than ever. "You just said you wanted me to show more jealousy. I am."

Amelia accusingly squinted at him, showing she did not agree.

"I just said it bothers me that you had sex with him," He confessed. "I don't like it that he's seen you naked, I don't like it that he was your first, I don't want to imagine it because it bothers me to think of you with anyone else. I can't… I can't imagine it," Owen vexingly admitted. "There, I said it. Are you happy now?"

He kept on staring Amelia in the eyes, searching for traces of smugness, anger or even amusement. But when his wife's face was taken over by a sudden expression of panic as she quickly got up from the couch, Owen was left alarmed as Amelia fled the TV room like it was on fire. He heard the loud cry of one of the kids and the whole thing startled him.

"Oh my God, I am being attacked!"

Owen only had time to turn his neck around when he saw Amelia run while an enormous moth flapped its wings aimlessly in her direction, while Danny and Robbie quickly worked their way to catch the insect, visibly distressed.

"What the hell, Danny?" Amelia took her hand to her racing heart, stepping away from the enormous winged bug her sons seem so relieved to have captured. "What are you doing with that gruesome monster inside the house? Where did it come from?"

"It's mine," Danny defensively said, looking like he was on the verge of tears. "I saved her."

Amelia rolled her eyes with impatience and stopped at a safe distance, trying to take a closer look at what was going on. She noticed as Owen came serenely walking from the TV room and crouched down by the boys' height, trying to assess the situation.

"What's going on, guys?" He calmly asked, looking from Danny's red puffy eyes to Robbie, while the oldest twin regained control of the big insect.

"Dan found the Moth by the pool today," Robbie informed. "We called her Domino."

"Because of the round spots on the wings?" Owen asked thinking it was clever. But as he stared at the insect, he noticed one of its wings was severely crooked, which could explain the lousy flight route the moth had taken.

"Because of the pizza," Danny explained with a sniff, obviously still emotionally shaken. "Dad, she had her wing nearly cut off, I think a bird tried to eat her," He explained, horrified, looking from the bug to his father. Owen noticed how his lower lip was trembling when his son added, "so we rescued her and brought her up to our room and fixed her."

"You fixed her?" Owen questioned, looking from the moth's crooked wing to the twins and the finally to Amelia's expression of full aversion as she kept her distance. "How?" He patiently asked.

"We used glue," Robbie said like it was obvious. "Paper worked."

Owen fought the urge to laugh when he looked from Robbie to the moth and then at Danny, who nodded assertively like the two brothers had just executed the most brilliant plan in history. Inspecting the bug more carefully, Owen noticed how the crooked wing could be justified by the craftsmanship of two not very delicate eight year olds.

"You _glued_ it?" Amelia's shocked expression was evident when she looked from the twins to Owen, receiving his reprimand for not controlling herself in return. "They _glued_ it!" She justified herself, still unable to believe it.

Owen censored her again with his eyes, not at all surprised. Amelia was a big city girl and absolutely dreaded the idea of anything remotely close to spending time outdoors, such as camping, trails and _especially_ bugs.

"Did you try letting it back outside?" Owen gently asked, knowing how sensitive Danny visibly was. "You can't keep her inside the house, Dan. She belongs out there in the yard."

"Yes," The boy replied with a broken voice. "We waited a full round of Mario Kart so the glue would dry and opened the window to let her free."

"But instead of flying outside, she flew down here, towards mom, just falling like that," Robbie explained, looking proud enough for the two of them. "I don't think Domino can fly very well." The boy added with a stern, disappointed face.

Owen breathed out through his nose at the same time he ran a hand through his hair, looking up at Amelia for support. She understood quickly and immediately sympathized. He didn't have the courage to tell his eight year old sons that in their best intention to help the insect, theyhad probably damaged it forever.

"Look, how about we put it back outside by the pool?" Owen suggested, feeling cruel for he knew the animal would probably find an unpleasant fate that evening. But he'd rather feel like he was the monster and let his children go to bed in peace instead of letting the duo realize that the moth wouldn't be able to fly again. "Maybe Domino shouldsleep where she is used to so she can recover faster. If you keep her in a jar, it won't do her any good," He bargained, hoping the boys would accept it.

"But can we put her somewhere really deep into a tree so the birds can't reach her?"

"Of course," Owe sighed, happy that the boys had promptly accepted the suggestion.

Amelia watched from distance, relieved to see the gigantic flying bug gone. She smiled as she saw Owen having to climb a tree outside, in the dark, just to make sure their kids felt good for the kind action they'd taken. There were certain lengths that only parents would go to see their children smile and Amelia knew this was one of those occasions.

Afterwards, she kept busy putting the boys to bed while Owen showered, complaining about the several wood chips and leaves that had gotten stuck in his hair as he'd climbed on the tree. When Amelia finally made her way back to their room, after checking on the other kids, she found him fresh out of the shower, finishing putting on his pajama pants.

"That was an interesting ending to the evening," Amelia smiled, lying on her back and crossing her ankles on the mattress. "Poor Danny was so worried about that monster that he took nearly an hour to fall asleep," She shared, watching as her husband got in bed beside her.

"The poor moth would probably have been better off if the bird had finished eating it."

"Owen!" Amelia protested with incredulity. "That's horrible."

"It's nature," He reasoned, turning on his side and propping his head on an elbow. "Birds eat moths, it's how it goes."

"Yeah, but the boys were so upset at the idea, let them be naïve and kind hearted for as long as they can… The world is already too vicious as it is."

"Why do you think I went through the trouble of climbing up a tree at ten pm on a Wednesday?" Owen gave her an impatient sideways glance.

Amelia laughed and pulled his head down for a quick kiss, feeling his hand circling around her waist.

"So, where were we?" She teased as they pulled apart, ready to resume their conversation. "You were saying…?"

Owen rolled his eyes at her, suggestively squeezing the curve of her waist to make her quit the bantering.

"Did you really lose your virginity when you were fifteen?" Owen relaxed beside her, idly running his hand from her sides to her stomach beneath her top. "I'm not judging, it just feels really young for a teenager to be having sex."

"Yeah, I did," Amelia confessed, not looking too proud of it. "I was an idiot. My friends in school were always daydreaming about boyfriends and Prince Charmings and I wanted to prove to them that sex didn't have to be such a big deal. It was stupid and it didn't mean anything," Amelia added. "I mean, I'm glad it ended up being with someone I actually knew but I was so impulsive back then that if it hadn't been Will, it would have been a random guy, and that would have been much worse."

"Was it that bad?" Owen asked, frowning.

"It was ridiculous. We barely knew what to do and he was so nervous that I had to take the lead," Amelia confessed and it didn't surprise Owen. "It lasted thirty seconds." Owen couldn't control a fit of laughter and just as he was recovering his wife asked, "How weird is it that we never talked about this?" She furrowed an eyebrow adorably, "Oh, wait, you told me about that nasty girlfriend you had once… What was it again? The one who dumped you for a college guy?"

"Grace," Owen let out a sigh. "Isn't that ironic? She was far from being graceful," He joked, smiling at his own predicament. "We were both eighteen, in the end of our senior year. She was the first girlfriend I've ever had and two hours after we'd had sex for the first time, she dumped me."

"Maybe it's because you were lousy in bed," Amelia provoked, watching him scowl at her in response. "But did you lose your virginity with her?" She asked, clearly having fun.

"Yes," Owen admitted with a smile. "But it was probably better than yours though," He maliciously stared at her. "Mine lasted a whole forty seconds."

Amelia's loud laughter echoed in the room and she wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him closer for another kiss, wiping the remaining droplets of water from his blonde locks with the tip of her fingers.

"I'm glad it wasn't such a horrible experience for you," Owen confessed, enjoying the touch of her hand on his face, "mine was pretty heartbreaking… And here I thought that it is usually better for guys than it is for girls."

"What do you mean?" Amelia asked with curiosity, smiling when her eyes caught sight of his blonde eyelashes.

"Well…" Owen hesitated, unsure of how to phrase it. "I may sound sexist but I have always imagined that teenage guys care more about the physical part of sex while for girls, especially younger girls, the experience is usually more impacting. You know?" He brought up his head and looked her in the eyes. "I am speaking from personal experience… The older, mature women I've been with seemed more comfortable having one night stands but when I was younger, the girls usually wanted some sort of emotional connection before having sex."

Amelia pondered about it for a few seconds and her heart constricted a bit. It was true. Back when she was a teenager, she was so rebellious and hurt that in a very typical way, she'd desperately looked to prove her own points and make up her own mind. It wasn't until years later that she realized how much she'd hurt other people and even herself in the process. But her childhood hadn't exactly been the easiest one and her struggles as a teenager had been a part of her search for her own identity. Amelia had acted out a lot as a teenager, rebellingin retaliation for always feeling like being herself had never been enough to her family.

Where sex was concerned, even though she liked Will a lot, it had never had a deep meaning because she had never been in love with him. Later on, she'd had sex with other guys, but never really got emotionally involved with anyone. It had been fairly easy to keep her sex life and her feelings two complete separate things. And it wasn't until she had conceived a child and made plans to start a family that it all started to change. After losing her first son, sex had changed its meaning for Amelia and at the time, she had even wondered if she would ever get satisfaction from it ever again.

But it wasn't until she'd met Owen that she really found out how amazing sex really was and how wonderful it could be when she was connected with her partner. While most women started their sex lives with girly dreams and after bad experiences some became more open and emotionally detached when it came to being with someone, Amelia had done the complete opposite. Owen had introduced her to a whole new concept of making love and she had found out it was far much better than having sex.

While still capable of sweeping off her feet, Owen had his own special way of alternating dirty words with love confessions and it drove her delirious with desire. Sometimes, he would look at her with so much lust in his eyes that Amelia felt like the most seductive woman on the planet, but then he would lovingly stare at her and sweetly kiss her lips, making her melt with adoration for him. They had amazing chemistry in bed and she couldn't even consider the idea of being with someone when Owen was the only one she wanted and loved. Amelia trusted him completely and because of that, she was able to give all of herself when they were together. And only after meeting her husband she had found out how deeply meaningful sex could be.

"So…" Amelia started and when she bit her bottom lip, Owen knew he was in for another round of teasing. Whenever she got too emotional, it was an automatic reaction to resort to bantering to avoid feeling that vulnerable. "Are you saying you have the heart of a young girl?"

"No," Owen touched his forehead to hers and smiled mischievously. "I'm saying _you_ don't."

"Ohhh…." Amelia playfully pretended to be offended, welcoming him as her husband moved to her top. "And are you going to do something about it?" She teased, wondering if Owen knew just how much better he was than any girly dream she could ever have had about marrying the perfect guy.

"Close your eyes and you'll find out," He replied with a dirty grin before turning off the lamp on the nightstand and finally capturing her lips with his.

It was true what Owen had said about being unable to imagine Amelia with other guys. He loved her too much and truth was, he _was_ jealous. Amelia wasn't his because there was a piece of paper with their signature on it stating that they married; she was his because she chose to be every day. She was also his most certain choice. And it really didn't matter that they'd had other partners in the past. Because Owen knew they were each other's choice in the present, and that wouldn't change throughout their entire future.

—


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, I am so sorry I havent updated here in so long, it completely slipped my mind. The stories are more up to date at my tumblr, jordan202 .**

 **My Boys: Beneath the Surface – Chapter 7  
**

Amelia finished helping Megan with her dress while she looked around in search of Lucas' shoes.

"Ugh, I knew it," The twelve year old frowned as he picked up the pair from his mother's hand. "I've spent twenty minutes looking for these and you found them in three seconds. How is that even possible?"

"Theory says," Thomas barged into the conversation, "that if a mom can't find it, then it's lost forever."

"Which is no excuse to leave your things scattered around," Amelia gave her oldest sons a censoring look before smiling back at Megan, who looked adorable in a light blue dress. "Okay, is everyone ready?"

As the weekend finally arrived, a lot of the guests to the wedding had come to town and they were having one last dinner party before the ceremony the following day. Amelia couldn't contain her excitement about the prospect of finally seeing Addison. Rushing down the stairs pretty much at the same time she put on her high heels, Amelia gathered all the kids in the foyer before they left the house to her sister's.

"Is it wrong that I don't want to go back?" The neurosurgeon smiled at her husband while they made their way to Nancy's house. The wedding was pretty much the last event before they went home.

"Not wrong, just really surprising," Owen glanced at her with an amused smile. Judging by his wife's resistance towards her family through the entire week, he had assumed Amelia would want to go back as soon as possible.

"Why?" Amelia let out a chuckle in response.

"I just…," Owen tried to make a good choice of words. "I supposed you preferred to be at a safe distance from your relatives."

"I do," Amelia confirmed with a head nod just as they were approaching the house with the big group. "I meant I will miss the rental house, the summer, the pool…"

"Oh," Owen nodded his head in playful disapproval and smiled as they stepped up to ring the door bell.

That evening, Nancy's house had more guests than it did the previous weekend. Amelia saw some of her cousins and before Owen could notice, he was engulfed in a wave of introductions and small talk.

The trauma surgeon couldn't help losing his smile when he noticed William Hartley approaching his wife and whispering something in her ear. Amelia laughed at him and dismissed what he was saying with a wave of her hand, making Owen wonder if the guy had just paid his wife a compliment.

"Are you usually this obvious with your emotions or does this happen only when my sister is involved?"

Owen heard the amused voice asking him a question and turned around to find the cheerful expression of Liz Shepherd.

"I'm sorry," She kept on grinning like she was completely at ease. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"You didn't," Owen lied with a forced smile.

Liz kept on widely grinning at him and then Owen couldn't hide just how uncomfortable he really was.

"Don't worry," Amelia's sister finally broke the silence, after she'd had her share of fun. "He is not a threat."

"I never considered him to be," Owen arrogantly replied with self confidence, even though his jaw was clenched a little too hard.

Liz didn't bother replying but Owen noticed the way she smiled at him before taking a sip from her cup, with an expression that looked almost like pride.

"So, Amy has been saying to me that I should go to Seattle more often," Amelia's sister said in a tone that made Owen feel like he was being tested.

"You should," He promptly replied. "I'm always telling Amelia she should invite you all more often. Or take up on your invitations to come here."

"Really?" Liz raised her eyebrows and then looked at Owen like she knew something he didn't. "You really do like my sister, don't you?"

Even though he found the question strange, especially because he and Liz were practically strangers, Owen decided to be honest.

"More than I could ever explain," He said somberly, finishing his drink with his eyes still fixated on the woman they talked about.

"Good," Liz approved of Owen's fierce reply with a head nod. "It's good to see that she turned her life around and is now in a good place," The Shepherd sibling turned her head from Amelia back to her husband. "You seem like a nice guy with a clean record. I'm not sure how it is between you and Amy, but judging by how she spoke of you, I assumed you were close and get along well."

"Yes?" Owen slightly frowned, confused about the purpose of that conversation.

"I guess what I am trying to say is," Liz awkwardly explained herself, "I'm happy you love Amelia the way she is. I know she has a lot of baggage and most people would be scared away the minute they knew about her troubled past."

Owen knew Liz meant well, but he couldn't help getting a bit angry at her words. He was very defensive of Amelia and couldn't control it. Everyone in the Shepherd family seemed to judge her for the choices she'd made in the past. The way they would keep bringing things that had happened years before was a bit exhausting and he started to wonder if that was why Amelia didn't share more with them. But it wouldn't make sense because now, in her current life, his wife had nothing to be ashamed of.

"It is me who is happy that Amelia took _me_ with all my baggage," Owen dryly replied, looking deeply into Liz's eyes so she could see he meant it. "Your sister is the strongest person I have ever met and it doesn't scare me that she's _been_ through things," He explained, trying to soften his voice a bit. "It actually attracts me that she has _overcome_ them many times over. She might have taken some blows but she's still standing. That is way more relevant."

Liz frowned, taken by surprise by the new perspective.

"You know what," She sheepishly admitted, looking at Owen with renewed admiration. "You are absolutely right."

Owen answered to her confession with a smile, unable to control his thoughts. Amelia didn't talk much about her family but judging by what he'd been told by his wife, they didn't know a lot of what had happened to their youngest sister, especially the details about the darkest days of her life while she still lived in Los Angeles.

He once again looked at her and heard Amelia's contaminating laughter when she obviously teased William about something. Owen realized that whereas his wife was looking at the neurologist with a fraternal smile, his gaze upon her seemed to be nothing but innocent.

Or maybe he was just overreacting, Owen thought to himself. After hearing about Amelia's past and plans with William, of course his reading of every situation would become biased. Excusing himself, he told Liz he would check on the kids, feeling better already just to envision his children's company.

.

"You've been awfully quiet tonight," Amelia playfully scolded her husband. They'd made it back from Nancy's house a couple of hours before and during the entire time they'd helped the kids with their bedtime routines, Owen had barely said more than a few words.

"More like thoughtful," He corrected her, stopping what he was doing to look at her.

Amelia realized how serious and stiff he looked, in contrast to the relaxed serenity he'd had for most of the past week. Owen really did look like he was dwelling with his own thoughts and as he hesitated to start a conversation, Amelia turned her back and opened the chest drawers, hoping to discourage him, because she wasn't sure the topic he was about to bring up would be pleasant.

"I talked to Liz today," Owen declared, thinking that was a good way to start. He knew a conversation about Amelia's family was long overdue and she couldn't keep postponing it much longer.

"Yeah?" Amelia tried to sound indifferent, taking advantage of the fact that he couldn't see her face. She hoped not to sound too interested because she really didn't want to talk about what Owen obviously did, at the same time she was curious to find out what he could have possibly discussed with her sister.

"She said you invited her to visit us," Owen shared, noticing how defensive his wife was getting. He finished untying his wrist watch and walked around the bed, approaching her but keeping a distance. "She seemed happy about it."

"That's good," Amelia evasively replied.

"Well?" Owen raised his eyebrows, feeling like a school teacher reprimanding a student who'd been caught cheating.

Amelia drowned in the uncomfortable silence that followed. Knowing she was caught between the chest drawer and Owen, the neurosurgeon swiftly turned around, making eye contact with him for a fraction of a second before breaking it.

"I did. I meant it," She added, trying to distract him as she made an escape.

When Amelia thought she could safely let out the breath she'd been holding, Owen's hand captured her arm as he gently but firmly spun her around.

"Amelia?" Owen insisted, raising his eyebrows with authority.

"What?" She snapped, raising her hands in a typical defensive manner. "What do you want me to say? I can't guess what's on your mind," Amelia hissed, deflecting her anger on him.

"You know damn well what's on my mind," Owen replied with a determinate, low voice.

Amelia hated how patronized she was feeling. Flashbacks of the majority of conversations she'd had with her mother and sisters all her life ran on her mind and she saw herself once again being cornered by someone she loved, familiarly feeling like a big disappointment.

"What do you want me to say?" Amelia exploded, trying her hardest to contain her raised voice. "You complained that we don't see my family often enough, so we came here… Then you complained some more about it, so I invited Liz over… What more do you want from me?"

Owen closed his eyes and let out a slow breath, knowing this discussion would be one of the difficult ones. Amelia was being totally unreasonable and twisting facts because she was hoping to, once again, avoid that conversation.

"Why is it so hard for you to talk about your family?" He raised his eyebrows, trying to control his anger at her childish attitude. "Whenever I ask you questions, you either shrug it off, come up with a joke or tell me to forget about it…" Owen listed, knowing he was pressuring her and that she hated it. "Why?" He insisted, taking one step in her direction and deeply staring into her eyes. "Why, Amelia?"

Silence followed but instead of looking away, his wife proudly sustained his gaze, angrily breathing out through her nose. Owen could see how worked up she was and even though he didn't like putting her in that position, he hoped it would make her talk.

"Amelia?" He insisted, not daring to break eye contact.

More silence followed and Owen lost his patience at her stubbornness.

"You are god damn unbelievable," He chided, nodding his head in disapproval. "You spend years telling me one thing, then we come up here and nothing is what it should look like and you don't even have the decency to explain to me why your description does not match reality."

"What do you know?" Amelia defensively asked, fuming with anger. He had no right to judge her or jump to conclusions after only a few days with the Shepherds.

"Nothing!" Owen raised his voice, opening his palm up in the air as he leaned over in her direction. "That's exactly my point. I know nothing. Because you won't tell me."

"Owen, listen…"

"No, _you_ listen," He took a step in her direction and stood close to her body, in a very intimidating maner. "You told me your family was unsupportive, that they didn't come to our wedding because they didn't care…"

"They didn't care!" Amelia interrupted him, feeling her heart breaking all over again. Inviting her sisters and mother to her wedding had been one last attempt at making peace with her past and yet they had completely shut that door with their refusal to show up.

"You spent the past decade telling me how awful they were to you, but they have expressed nothing but concern and sorrow for the fact that you've been distant from them… I am just trying to understand, Amelia."

"You think that one week defines it all?" Amelia attacked him, feeling betrayed by the one person whose support meant everything to her. "You think that in one week, you can make up your mind about how they feel about me, or how they treated me or the things I've been told all my life?" She angrily snapped, hating to feel herself tear up. Anger was mixing with hurt and Amelia knew better than anyone how dangerous that combination could be.

Owen felt the weight of her words and stayed in silence, trying to understand. He noticed how affected by the entire situation she was and that vision only added to his frustration.

"I'm… I'm just…" He struggled with words, hating that Amelia was feeling like he wasn't on her side. "I am just trying to understand, Amelia," Owen repeated, calming down for her sake. "I don't understand and I am trying to. All I am asking is for you to explain it to me. I'm not saying I don't believe you…"

"You are!" Amelia interrupted him, pulling away when he tried to reach out for her hand. "That's exactly what you are telling me!"

"Don't," Owen used a tone of command that set her off even more. "Amelia, damn it, why do you have to make this so hard?!"

"It's you who started it," She exploded, carelessly yelling at him. "You know what?" She gave up, a look of hurt clear on her face. "Take my family's side. You'd fit right in," Amelia declared with despise. "You're already very good at making everything my fault when all I ever did was basically make sure I minded my own business."

With those words, Amelia turned around again and entered the bathroom, on purpose slamming the door to let out her anger.

Owen stayed put and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down at the same time he wondered how things could have gotten that much worse.

.

When Amelia finally calmed down enough to leave the bathroom, she found out Owen wasn't in bed like she'd originally imagined. Too angry and upset at him to go figure out his whereabouts, she went to bed by herself, aggressively pulling the covers and turning off the lights in an attempt to force herself to sleep.

The next morning, when Amelia woke up, Owen wasn't there either. With mixed emotions, she realized he probably hadn't come to bed the night before. At the same time that hurt Amelia, for it was very rare that they fought badly enough to sleep in separate rooms, she was glad he hadn't come. The neurosurgeon couldn't help feeling backstabbed at the way he'd jumped to conclusions about her family, obviously not taking her words for it.

At the same time Amelia imagined that superficially it really must have been hard to understand, she was also upset that Owen demanded to know more. The more she thought about it, the more Amelia wondered if her anger was really directed at him or her inability to talk about the subject. She tended to avoid those topics in her mind, even more so ever since she'd gone to Seattle and built a life for herself there, keeping that part of her past compartmentalized somewhere deep inside her memories.

Amelia had gone through something similar a few times before and she knew that avoiding feeling pain could very well backfire in the worst possible way, but she had hoped with all her heart that the long years of being told, directly or not, how much of a failure she was would simply not matter anymore after she'd proved her worth. Amelia acknowledged the life she had at the moment was everything she'd ever dreamed of and yet it made her angry at herself because right now, feeling the weight of her past on her shoulders invariably made her question if her present really was enough to make her fulfilled.

Without much time left to lose with those alarming realizations, Amelia went downstairs, not at all looking forward to the long day that was about to start. It was Saturday and Nancy's wedding was finally happening. Telling herself to cheer up because at least she'd get to see Addison, Amelia prepared the kids' breakfasts and then went upstairs to sort out their clothes for the ceremony.

Nancy and her husband to be had decided on a simple ceremony in their own backyard. Luckily, it was a warm, sunny day and because both adults were getting married for the second time, they'd chosen something simple, with a quick formality to exchange vows and rings, followed by a lively reception with a buffet in their backyard.

Through the entire morning, Owen kept quiet too and Amelia didn't blame him. She hated being at odds with her husband but at the moment, she really didn't feel like talking yet. It took them long enough to dress up all the kids and get ready to leave with the big group and she felt lucky to have the busy routine to distract her.

Soon enough, Amelia found Addison there. Her friend look tired and Amelia knew she'd probably taken a night flight from Los Angeles. Somehow Amelia felt that no matter how much time she spent with Addison, it would never be enough to properly catch up.

"Is that William Hartley?" Addison asked while she and Amelia kicked back on a table at the far end of the backyard. The neurosurgeon noticed as her friend squinted to get a better view of the man under the strong summer sun.

"The one and only," Amelia replied with lack of enthusiasm, bending over the table to get an appetizer.

"He looks hot," Addison decided with a dirty smile.

"You can have him," Amelia added with a sigh of indifference.

Addison glanced sideways at the woman she considered a little sister and studied her conspicuously. Amelia seemed a bit off, almost irritable and her short, impatient answers hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Alright, spill it," Addison demanded with an authoritative but warm voice.

"What?" Amelia stared back at her with impatience.

"What's going on?" Addison kindly asked.

Amelia let out a heavy sigh. Her eyes focused on Thomas and Lucas, who were running around the table chasing after a dog before she confessed.

"Owen and I got into a huge fight last night."

"Yeah?" Addison slightly turned her chair right beside Amelia while they both observed the guests and the buffet waiters passing around. "Why?"

Amelia let out a heavy sigh while she finally gathered the strength to talk.

"Owen has been on my back asking me why we don't see my family more often, firing questions as if accusing me of not doing right by them," Amelia shook her head in distress, too overwhelmed to believe it. "I mean, it's like he is on their side," She spoke, infuriated and hurt. "It's that same old implication that it's my fault that we don't see them."

"That you don't see them," Addison inquired with humbleness, "Or that you _don't_ want to see them?"

Amelia turned her head to the side, looking for an explanation in Addison's eyes.

"Is there a difference?"

"Of course there is," Addison spoke like it was obvious. "You're clearly uncomfortable being close to them. You have always been," The obstetrician said with certainty. "Amelia, ever since I married your brother you'd go to our house whenever you could. You'd spend every free weekend with us in Manhattan," She paused, waiting to see if there'd be a reaction from the youngest woman. "Even though you had three big sisters, you'd share everything _with me_ ," She concluded, looking at Amelia with something that resembled genuine concern and longing. "I never said anything because I loved it. I loved it that I felt needed and cherished like a big sister. And I loved you," Addison added, knowing she was walking into dangerous territory. "And even though we never really talked about it, not even after all these years, you know as well as I do why you did it."

"What?" Amelia asked, feeling an uncomfortable lump on her throat. Even though what Addison was saying was touching and very true, she wasn't sure she wished to carry on with that conversation.

"Amelia…" Addison struggled, thinking of the best way to phrase it. "You never felt comfortable around your sisters. You never felt like they supported you," The obstetrician added. "I know you felt all your life like you weren't one of them and it only got worse after you crashed Derek's car." Addison said with conviction. "I see how hard you've worked, especially after that, to prove you're one of them and now," She hesitated, hoping what she would say wouldn't come off as horrible as it sounded in her head. "Now, even though you are, even though you got it all, for some reason you still feel like you are a misfit."

Amelia felt a constriction on her throat and forced herself to hold back her tears. She looked away, too embarrassed to be read like a book. Addison was pointing out things that Amelia herself hadn't yet fully concluded and it hurt to realize all of those things.

"Don't be mad at Owen for not understanding," Addison finalized, determined to end the subject there because she didn't want to add more pain and frustration to the situation, and she especially didn't want to fight her adored friend. "Not when you don't understand it yourself."

Amelia stayed in silence, processing Addison's words and the truth they contained. All her friend had said was true. Growing up, especially after her father had died, Amelia had always felt like she didn't belong there.

One day, on an average morning, she'd woken up blissfully happy and then watched her father get killed right in front of her eyes. From that day forward, everything had been different. The once happy, loud family conversations had given room to quiet whispers; the so long awaited family dinners had turned into torturing minutes of utter silence. Back then, Amelia had had a lot of questions, but very few answers. Whenever she'd ask anyone about anything, or tried to understand what was going on and why her world had suddenly turned upside down when she'd been only five years old, her mother and siblings would shut her out, supposedly to protect her.

Slowly, Amelia's curiosity had evolved into anguish and then into insecurity. The vulnerability that had accompanied her ever since her father had died became increasingly stronger right around her adolescence, making Amelia search outside her home for all the things she'd never had. The cheerful, repressed child had evolved into a rebellious, willful teenager, who'd test anyone and anything around her just to get the limits she'd always needed but never been given.

Addison had been one of the few people Amelia had felt she could actually talk to without being judged, called inappropriate, or even being accused of trying to draw attention. Everything Amelia had done and tried while growing up had been severely frowned upon by her mother and siblings, who'd distinctively told her many times over just how wrong Amelia always was.

"I'm working on it," Amelia admitted after several minutes of silence.

"I know," Addison quietly added, reaching out a hand and holding her friend's on her lap.

Immersed in total silence, Amelia nodded in gratitude for Addison's always reliable support. They sat beside each for long minutes, watching the kids running. Amelia's eyes met Owen's figure and she felt her heart swelling inside her chest when she realized how much the traumas of her past still affected her present. The notion devastated her and wondering what she could do to make it all better, Amelia kept staring at her husband, watching as he politely exchanged words with her mother while holding Megan in his arms. Carolyn was obviously saying something nice because the little girl kept a smile on her face all along. At the sight of her smiling daughter, Amelia warmed up, for once realizing that life had a bigger purpose than all of that.

"I just can't get over how much I love that kid," Addison let out a chuckle. "I mean, just look at him."

Amelia turned her eyes at the direction her friend was pointing and she noticed Lucas charmingly talking to his aunt Kathleen just a few meters away from them. Addison had noticed how the twelve year old had lost his formal jacket and tie long before, rolling up the sleeves to his white button up shirt in a very casual and laidback manner.

"He is a real piece of work," Amelia smiled through her sadness. "I have no idea what he's saying to Kate but I am sure he is up to no good."

"He flirts like a natural," Addison added with good humor, making Amelia crack up.

"Well, you'd know about that, wouldn't you?" The neurosurgeon provoked. "Maybe that's the gift you passed onto Lucas when you baptized him."

"Maybe," Addison laughed, too well aware to contradict that.

The two women kept staring at the boy for the following seconds and only when Lucas finally convinced his aunt to apparently talk one of the waiters into getting some dessert samples from the kitchen, Amelia turned her eyes to look at Addison.

"You know, Addie, I don't think I've ever said this but," The neurosurgeon said emotionally, too caught up with what was on her mind to realize that her sister distractedly came in their direction after talking to Lucas. As Amelia had processed everything her friend had said just minutes before, it had become very clear that her brother's ex wife was one of the few people Amelia could count on throughout her whole life, from her childhood days to all the journey she'd gone through in Los Angeles. "You were always meant to be my firstborn's godmother. And you know I'm not talking about Luke."

"Amelia," Addison tilted her head as she looked back, deeply touched.

"No, I mean it," Amelia reinforced, feeling grateful for Addison's undying loyalty. "In my heart you were. Whenever in the world he is right now, I know he knows it too and I am so deeply grateful that my baby has you there to visit his grave site more often than I can."

"What baby?"

The words spoken by the familiar voice caught Amelia by surprised and she only had time to turn her head up to meet the gaze of her sister when Kathleen frowned heavily, obviously alarmed. Amelia could barely process anything else when her sister's voice resonated again, startling her.

"Amelia, if not Lucas, then what firstborn? What baby are you talking about?"


	8. Chapter 8

My Boys: Beneath the Surface – Chapter 8

" _Amelia, if not Lucas, then what firstborn? What baby are you talking about?"_

As Kathleen's grey eyes intensely stared at her, Amelia felt trapped and unexpectedly attacked.

"Kate, perhaps it's better if…"

"Addie, don't!" Kathleen looked from her sister to her brother's ex wife who had tried stepping in. "I know you mean well, but this is not about you. I'm talking to my sister." Kate then looked back at the youngest Shepherd. "Amy? What's going on?"

By the time Kathleen asked that question, Amelia had already gotten up and nervously clutched to the handbag she was holding.

"I was talking about Lucas, Kate. You misunderstood," The neurosurgeon improvised, feeling her stomach churning.

"You mentioned a grave site," Kathleen cornered her, looking concerned and irritated. "I heard it, Amelia. What's going on? What haven't you told me?"

Amelia thought very hard about an excuse to get her out of that situation but all the hurt and anxiety was completely clouding her creativity.

"I don't owe you any explanations," She irritably said, shifting her small purse in her hand before taking a step back. "Addie, can you please keep an eye on the kids? I'm going to the bathroom."

Kathleen was left speechless, with a baffled expression on her face as Amelia quickly walked away to the direction of the house. From a distance, Owen noticed the alarmed expression on his wife's face as she took large strides opposite to him, but got distracted when Robbie pulled his hand asking for help to get the football the kids were playing with that got stuck up on a high bush none of the boys could reach.

Amelia locked herself in the first bathroom she could find, nervously letting out a breath only when she noticed she was alone. Trying to control the panic that was starting to assault her, the neurosurgeon looked at her own image in the mirror and forced herself to breathe in and out, focused on using reason instead of allowing her emotions to engulf her thoughts.

The situation was exactly what it looked like: Even though it'd been more than a decade since Amelia had left Los Angeles, never had she told her mother and sisters about the traumatizing experiences she'd lived there. During her entire adolescence and early years, Amelia had been repeatedly condemned for her drug addiction and how much of her life she'd jeopardized because of it. Her family had always expressed their worry, at the same time they'd made Amelia feel like she was the weak one for resorting to drugs in the first place.

Amelia thought back of a time when she'd been seventeen years old and Nancy had caught her stash of pills inside one the handbags Amelia had borrowed from her sister without the intention to return it. Nancy had been already irate enough about Amelia taking her things without permission, but she'd flipped when she found the drugs. Amelia could still remember her sisters' words, implying she was a lazy and ungrateful child, who returned everything her family had ever done for her with impulsive and careless actions. Nancy had gone further to say that Amelia was weak because while everyone had pulled themselves together after their father had died, Amelia was the only one who hadn't.

At the time, Amelia had responded to the accusation with more rebellion and a bad attitude, disappearing from home for a couple of days, until everyone was so worried about her that the pill incident had been mostly forgotten. But now, as a clean, sober adult, she could fully feel the stinging weight of her sister's words as hurtful as a stab in the heart.

Her family had always made her feel like she wasn't good enough and in spite of that, Amelia had exceeded everyone's expectations. Including her own, she sadly admitted. Now, she had an amazing life filled with love and support and Amelia wouldn't let the years and years of bashing from her sisters become bigger than everything she already had.

While in Los Angeles, for a period she'd gone back to using drugs and drinking alcohol, to then make some bad choices and ultimately suffer the hardest blow of all when she'd accidentally got pregnant only to lose her partner and child within months. Once again against all odds, Amelia had rebuilt herself and she was proud of how far she'd come. Even though she hadn't told her family about any of that, because she didn't want to go through any of their scrutiny and judgment, deep down Amelia knew she had nothing to be ashamed about. That was her life, she couldn't change her past and she definitely wouldn't let it compromise her future any more.

Telling herself that she didn't owe her mother and sisters any explanations, Amelia felt an unmistakable fit of anger start to consume her. Who the hell did they think they were? Her family was quick to judge, but truth was, they had no idea about anything: what she'd been through, the lengths of her suffering, how she'd faced most of the pain all by herself and how tough she was to still be proudly standing when that entire nightmare had been over. The Shepherds weren't entitled to a damn thing and it was with that thought in mind that Amelia finally left the bathroom, fuming with anger and indisposition.

She was ready to summon Owen and gather the kids to go home and once for all, leave all of that behind when, unsurprisingly, she found Kathleen standing outside the door. And her sister wasn't alone.

Their mother and Liz stood next to her and by the looks on their faces, Amelia knew Kate had probably said something. The three women stared at her with a look of consternation and worry that was far too familiar, and Amelia couldn't take it. She could feel her irritation going to extremes when her mother's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Amelia, is it true what Kate is saying?" Carolyn Shepherd took a step closer to her youngest child, her eyes glowing with what Amelia interpreted as pity. "She said you had a baby before Lucas? What… What does that mean?" The older woman chose her words carefully, trying her best to delicately approach the situation. Carolyn hoped with all her heart that somehow, that was all a big misunderstanding and that Amelia's words, repeated later by Kathleen, referred to a baby she'd conceived and lost with her husband, and not something even more impacting than that.

Amelia stood still for long seconds, staring at her mother. She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it again, suddenly feeling too irate to talk.

"It means that once again, she didn't tell us!" Kathleen lost her patience, venting out. "How could you, Amelia?" Kathleen lost her composure as she paced forth, trying hard to understand her sister's hesitation. "We are _your_ family! You didn't tell us you operate on your mother in law, and now this… I mean…" Kate looked up, trying not to be aggressive. "Do you hate us that much that you feel like you can't even trust us for _that_? To share the worst moments of your life with us? We are your family, I am your sister!"

"Not everything is about you!" Amelia exploded, feeling the anger she was trying to contain come to surface with full force.

Kathleen was about to reply when they were interrupted by the door. Nancy walked in, a look of sheer confusion on her face as she noticed her sisters and mother gathered around, visibly worked up.

"What's going on?" Nancy asked, confused by the scene. "The photographer wants to take pictures of our family together, but I noticed everyone was gone and I…"

"What's going on is that Amelia once had and lost a child and failed to tell us!" Kathleen interrupted, looking from her older to her youngest sister, deeply hurt by the realization that the Shepherds meant nothing or very little to their youngest. "We had a nephew that we never knew about…!"

" _What_?" Nancy asked, visibly blown away by the information. "What do you mean, she…?"

"Amelia," Liz took a step forward, making an effort to contain the animosity. She knew that while everyone was that worked up, nothing good could come out of it. "We are not judging… We just want to know what happened."

" _You're not judging_?" Amelia replied with bitter sarcasm, dangerously looking at each of the women in the room, hating them for having the power to make her feel unworthy. "That's all you've been doing my whole life… Why wouldn't you now?! But fine!" Amelia yelled, completely losing her mind. "Go ahead and judge… What do you want to know?" She took a step forward, ignoring the tears accumulating in her eyes. Her sisters' attitude hurt so much that she was going to give them exactly what they wanted. "That I relapsed while I was in Los Angeles?" The neurosurgeon bitterly asked, seeing the look of surprise on her mother's face. "That I operated on someone while I was drunk?" She looked from her mother to Nancy. "Is that what you're going to laugh about to your friends next time you have them over for tea? When everyone is sharing tales about the screw ups in their family, will you tell them the sad story about the little sister who woke up with a dead, overdosed guy next to her?" Amelia swallowed her tears, rejoicing in the look of shock on their sisters' faces.

She paced around the room, knowing she was torturing her sisters and mother, but Amelia didn't feel the least bit sorry about it. If that's how they wanted to do it, then they would have their way.

"Is that what you want to know, Kate?" Amelia fired, feeling the tears running down her eyes without control. "Do you want to hear about how I found myself pregnant with that guy's baby and after finally accepting it, I found out he was anencephalic?" Amelia finally stopped walking around, ignoring the utter surprise on everyone's face as she revealed the darkest secrets of her past. "Will it make you satisfied to hear that that's the baby who died?" She lost her mind, taking out her anger and frustration for the years of hurt her sisters and mother had put her through. "Or perhaps, mom, you'd relate better to that," The neurosurgeon fired, continuing with her shocking monologue. "After all, you were the one who lost a son too," Amelia added, seeing how her mother's face transformed into a mask of hurt and pain. "The only difference is you didn't get to watch yours die like I did." She threw both hands in the air, taking a breath before finally adding. "But that's okay, right? I mean, I watched dad die too… The experience shouldn't come as a shock."

Amelia noticed the scandalized expression on each face of the four women around her and that boosted her anger.

"Don't you all have anything to say now?" She asked with sarcasm, visibly disgusted by the scene. "I am sure I don't need you all to remember this is the moment you tell me how wrong I am, how everything is always my fault, how…"

"Amelia, that's enough!" Carolyn's voice resonated in the room. Her expression was so anguished that it was visibly how tormented the woman was. "How could this… How could have this happened without you saying anything?" She took a step forward but Amelia got out of her reach. "Sweetheart, you could have called, we could have been there for you…He was my grandson, he was your sisters' nephew… We are your family!"

"I didn't need you there!" Amelia replied aggressively, trying to hide how defensive she really was feeling. Her mother and sisters had hurt her too much for her to ever let her guard down again. "I didn't _want_ you there." She added, knowing how much the words would hurt her mother.

Carolyn's face was pale and expressionless when her daughter's words finally sunk in.

"Well, that's very clear," Nancy confessed, trying to contain the situation. "You never let us be part of your life in any moment, we shouldn't be surprised that you hid this from us too," She gave Amelia a censoring look before adding, moved by hurt and disappointment. "We would have liked to be there for you, Amelia, but you never let us. You always did everything behind our backs and if you just…" Nancy's voice trailed off as she interrupted her thoughts.

"If I just what?" Amelia asked, eager to hear what came after that. "Tell me, Nancy. If I just what?!"

Nancy seemed to hesitate but the way she was pushed made her finally explode and let out what everyone else thought but didn't have the guts to say.

"If you'd just stayed here and married William and did everything like you were supposed to, none of this would have happened!"

Amelia opened her mouth to reply but the words hit her so hard that for the first time that night, she found herself not knowing what to say. One quick look at each of her sisters' and mother's faces and she instantly knew they all agreed on that.

How typical, Amelia thought. It shouldn't come as a surprise that instead of talking and assessing a bad situation, her family would simply opt for pretending it didn't exist in the hopes it'd disappear. It was pretty much like covering a bullet hole with a band aid. Amelia was so distracted by her own thoughts that she didn't see Owen standing at the door, his eyes wide with shock and disbelief at the words Amelia's sister had just fired.

After spending long minutes helping out his kids rescue a football, Owen had scanned the yard and noticed his wife hadn't returned outside after she'd rushed to the house. Something in her heavy expression had warned him she wasn't okay and even though they had fought and were avoiding each other, his gut had told him that maybe he needed to step up and be bigger than the fight they'd had.

"Sure," Owen heard his wife's voice as she was obviously drowning in anger and sarcasm. "Life would have been a blessing if I'd married William, wouldn't it?" She scoffed, clearly hurt. "It would have been like a beautiful TV commercial… We'd have amazing kids, our lives would have been a blessing pretty much like yours," She looked at each of her sisters. "And I am sure it wouldn't take long for me to become just like you," Amelia added with mock sweetness. "I bet three years into the marriage, I would begin to hate him. I am sure you can relate to that, can't you, Nance?" She attacked, seeing her sister's face grow angry with horror. "Or maybe he would have cheated on me. Or left me to go on a cruise with his young secretary. Maybe then we'd finally have something in common, Kate?"

"Amelia, stop!" Liz's voice interrupted her, seeing the chaos her sister was causing.

"You've ruined way too many moments for our family already," Nancy barged into the conversation, looking at Amelia like she was a reckless, misbehaved child. "Mom is too good and decent to have to put up with this, you spoiled little brat… She didn't deserve to see you die once, she didn't deserve seeing you destroy yourself drinking and whoring and doing drugs your whole life and none of us sure as hell deserve to see you wreck everything now," The oldest sister took a step forward, seeing everyone was on the verge of tears. "Remember how you got drunk at Liz's wedding and bumped into the table crashing the cake on the floor?" Nancy brought up one of the many moments she had of Amelia ruining things. "Yeah, I am sure everyone here does… Remember how that's only what people talked about for days, instead of how beautiful Liz looked or how great the ceremony was?" The obstetrician looked her sister's deeply in the eyes and affirmed with conviction. "You are not doing that again, Amelia. Not to me, not to mom, not on my wedding. Not under my watch." Nancy decided and then cruelly added, "Dad's nickname for you surely suits you well… You really are a Hurricane, carelessly destroying everything you dare to touch!"

The mention of their father set Amelia off. Amelia opened her mouth to talk but her lower lip trembled uncontrollably. The youngest Shepherd had been a lively, full of energy child, but when her father nicknamed her, he'd done it affectionately and not with the connotation her sister had just implied.

"Nancy, enough too," Liz tried to get to Amelia, hating to see their two sisters fighting like that. But the neurosurgeon dodged her touch while Kathleen proudly stood next to Nancy, clearly taking a side. "Guys, stop with the fighting and the hateful words, you're making everything worse!"

"I really thought this would be a happy day," Carolyn's voice sounded louder than any other. By the look on her face, she was clearly disappointed. "Isn't it bad enough that I lost your father, you brother… Now you're making me have to watch you destroy each other like that?" From a distance, Owen watched as his mother in law took a step back with clear intention to leave. "This is not what I raised a family for… This is not what I taught you your whole lives! You won't make me stay here to see you two bring each apart," She looked from Amelia to Nancy. "I refuse."

Carolyn exited the room through the back door, being followed by Nancy and Kate and finally, Amelia's eyes met Owen's. He was shocked by everything he'd just witnessed, for even though his wife had warned him, he'd never seen a family fighting that bad. At the sight of her sister's husband in the room, Liz realized she'd have support and decided to go outside too, leaving the couple alone.

"Did you get the answers you were looking for?" Amelia asked with a sniff, sadly biting her lower lip to contain her cries. Owen noticed that even though she still sounded very hurt and somewhat startled and scared, the anger and the sarcasm had given room to tears and heartbreak. "Or do you still think that it's hard to understand why I never want to see them?"

Owen took a closer look at her, seeing how broken and devastated his wife looked. He saw her sitting on a couch in the room they were in and took a seat on the coffee table right in front of her, bending forward and gently placing his hands on her knees. It was the first time since she'd gone inside that Amelia hadn't pulled away when someone tried to touch her.

Owen studied her features closely, hating himself for having pushed her the way he had the previous day. It was clear now that Amelia's relationship with her family was infinitely more complicated than he had initially imagined. Even though he'd always know they were estranged, never could he have been prepared for just how bad reality really was.

"Now you know who you married," Amelia embarrassingly added, looking away from him.

"I've always known damn well who I married," Owen said with conviction, gently holding her chin and forcing her to look at him again to make sure his wife knew he meant the words.

Amelia once again broke eye contact with her husband, unable to bear the weight of the situation. Her sister had exposed everything and Owen had probably been there to watch it all. Even though she'd spent the past day angry at him, right now all she could feel was shame and embarrassment. That man had built with her the best thing she had ever had her whole life and Amelia knew he loved her very much. She didn't want Owen's opinion of her to change because of what had happened in her past. The idea of her husband thinking ill of her because of the things she'd once done or said made her feel weak to her stomach.

"You have nothing to feel sorry about," Owen tried to get to her and ease some of the pain that was clearly consuming his wife. "The things that have happened to you… None of them were your fault."

Amelia knew he meant the death of her father, brother and her son. She agreed with him, but she also felt responsible for spending a lifetime trying to be good enough for her family and repeatedly failing. The neurosurgeon had made her peace with the idea that she never would redeem herself in the eyes of her family, but being faced with that so directly had really broken all her defenses.

"You should have escaped when you could, Owen," Amelia bitterly said, returning to that familiar twisted circle of letting her family make her feel unworthy and undeserving of good things happening to her. She turned her head back to face her husband and her eyes were dangerously expressionless when she finalized. "Maybe I shouldn't have come back on our wedding day, after all."

Even though Owen knew Amelia was using those words to torture herself, the impact they had was too overwhelming. To hear Amelia voice out doubts about their marriage, despite knowing it had nothing to do with him but with herself made Owen feel hurt and attacked all the same.

"Stop," He commanded with impatience, hating to see his wife being so vulnerable and so affected by the atrocities she'd said to her family and then heard back. Amelia couldn't believe it, she was far too good for that. "You don't mean this and you'll stop before you say things you'll regret," Owen gave her a gentle but harder squeeze on the knees, forcing her to look into his eyes. "I know you're hurt and I know this is what you to do in reaction, you fire back instead of hiding in a corner. I admire that. But right now, I'm asking of you to please not."

"This is not _what I do_ , Owen," Amelia's voice sounded sarcastic again when she defensively took out her frustration on him. "It's _who I am_. If you don't want to deal with this, then maybe I was right to begin with. You should have gone away when there was still time." She angrily added, hating herself for blurting out things that she knew would hurt him but Amelia couldn't help it. She was unconsciously testing him.

"You know what," Owen got up, frustrated and disappointed. He knew Amelia was hurting and lashing out, but the likelihood of her saying something to set him off, making matters even worse was far too big for him to risk it. "I _will_ walk away. When you feel like dealing with this like a grown up, you can come find me and let me support you like I've been trying to."

At the sound of his words, Amelia watched her husband get up and head to the door. Owen took one last look at her, hoping Amelia would ask him to stay but she simply looked away, ignoring everything else around them. He knew she was desperately hurting but that wasn't an excuse for her to say things like marrying him had been a mistake. That had been especially hard to hear, especially having witnessed Amelia's family say she should have married William Hartley instead. And after seconds of hesitation at the door, Owen finally walked out.

.

Amelia lost track of time as she stayed silently sitting on the couch inside the empty room. She knew that somewhere outside her kids were playing and that at some point, she would have to go out and face everyone as she gathered them to go home. But she didn't feel ready just yet.

"Hey…" Amelia looked up at the sound of the word to see William sliding into the room through the semi open door. "I just heard from Nance that you were in here. From the look on her face I figured there has been a fight?" The neurologist correctly guessed, taking a seat next to Amelia while placing an empty whisky glass on the coffee table.

"No surprises," Amelia replied hoping to sound indifferent.

"The only surprise is it took this long," William offered her a friendly smile and when Amelia saw the mischievous expression on his face, she realized he meant well, for the first time letting out a contained sad laugh. "So what was it this time? Did they accuse you of talking too much? Or not enough?" William immediately got it right, far too familiar with the relationship between the woman he'd once dreamed of marrying and her sisters. "Or maybe they complained about some of your life choices and tried to change your mind?"

Amelia noticed by William's slurred speech and easy smiles that he was drunk. She didn't mind it, finding some comfort in the company of one of the few people who could actually understand the complicated relationship she had with her family. Will had been there from the start and while growing up, it wasn't uncommon that Amelia would run to his house after having a fight with one of her sisters, finding comfort in how he always did everything he could to cheer her up.

"All of it," Amelia vaguely replied, not really too excited to talk about the subject at the moment. She didn't need to dissect what had happened. William understood and that was already enough at the moment. "I never got to properly say this, but… Thanks, Will. I mean it," Amelia look into his eyes, thinking back at how much she missed a brotherly figure in her life. "You were always there for me when I needed it and you always understood."

"You don't have to thank me," William replied, mesmerized by her eyes. She was obviously in a lot of pain and he felt his heart constricting for not being able to ease it. "You know how I've always felt about you, Amelia," He blurted out the words, unsure of what exactly he was doing. "I mean, a while after you left I convinced myself I didn't have any more feelings for you but," He touched her face, making Amelia's eyes wide with alarm. "Just one look at you crying like this and I can feel my heart breaking all over again," She could feel the whisky on his breath and wondered exactly how much William could possibly have had in one afternoon. He had never been much of a drinker and she knew it.

"You've always been a loyal friend," Amelia clarified, hoping to set some boundaries. He was getting dangerously close to her face and she was suddenly uncomfortable with the proximity.

"I have always wished to be more than that," William went on saying, his drunken state of mind unable to filter any of his thoughts. "And for a while you agreed to it and I was so happy," He smiled like a love struck teenage boy. "You know, Amy, I could have made you happy…"

"Will," Amelia interrupted him, trying to move away when he splayed a hand on her shoulder.

"If I'd married you, I would have devoted every single one of my days to making you happy…" He blabbered, looking into her eyes "And don't get me wrong, I know I shouldn't be saying this, I know you're married and that you seem happy with it but I…" He hesitated, looking from her eyes to her lips. "I also know that I am still crazy about you."

.

Owen swiftly jumped up the back stairs, slowly making his way back to the room he'd left his wife in. After going outside to clear his head and taking some deep breaths, he'd come to feel awful about leaving her alone inside. Owen knew Amelia had been put through a lot and even though he'd witnessed some of it, he had no idea what else could have been said to his wife before he even entered that room.

Amelia was understandably heartbroken and if what she needed was to angrily lash out to feel better, Owen would silently stay by her side and let her get rid of her pain whichever way she needed to. A few minutes outside thinking back at the sad, broken look on her face when he'd found her were enough to make Owen change his mind completely. He knew Amelia was wrong to deflect her pain and take it out on him, but they could deal with that later. Owen could overlook his own hurt while they focused on hers, because at that moment, Amelia was the one who needed comprehension the most. And truth was, he couldn't bear seeing her so hurt. It absolutely destroyed him.

Owen was still thinking about that when he opened the door to the room in which he'd left Amelia, eager to suggest they went home and put all the fighting behind them. He would find a way to comfort her and if necessary, he would hold her until she was able to stop crying. Then they would calmly talk about everything that had happened and eventually, Amelia would heal those deep wounds as she finally allowed herself to talk about her past.

But never in his wildest dreams would Owen be prepared to find out someone else was holding his wife instead of him, at the exact moment William Hartley's lips covered Amelia's in an intense, eager kiss.

–


	9. Chapter 9

My Boys: Beneath the Surface – Chapter 9

" _I also know that I'm still crazy about you."_

Amelia barely had any time to react when William tightened his grasp on her shoulder and leaned forward, taking her by surprise the moment he crushed her lips with his own, failing to part them with the tip of his tongue. She immediately pulled away, pushing his chest with her splayed hands.

"Will, what the hell are you doing?"

Amelia saw the embarrassment and confusion on William's face as she roughly pushed him aside but the intensity of another stare caught her attention. Turning her head sideways, her eyes grew wide with shock when she noticed Owen by the door, staring at the scene in front of him with an expression she couldn't quite identify.

"Owen," Amelia quickly got up, eager to explain what had just happened, but he silenced her with a hand gesture.

Her husband looked at her with a mix of disbelief, pain and shock and Amelia suddenly felt the worse she'd felt all day. As if the fight with her family wasn't enough, being stared at like that made her feel at her lowest. But Amelia had no idea it could get even worse.

"I'm going to take the kids home," Owen icily notified her, looking at his wife with an expressionless façade. "You two can carry on with what you were doing."

Amelia felt the weight of Owen's words the minute he exited the door, turning his back on her without a second thought. Her first reaction was to run after him but William's hand grabbed her wrist before she could do so.

"Amelia, I…"

William's words were suddenly interrupted by the loud sound of Amelia's hand slapping his face with all the force she could gather. Shocked by her own violent reaction, the neurosurgeon looked at her childhood friend with widened eyes, anxious to see what would happen next.

"I guess I deserved that," William sheepishly confessed, unwillingly letting go of her hand. "I'm sorry."

Amelia didn't stay to hear the rest of his apologies. Gathering her things, she rushed outside, desperately looking for her husband. Addison was the first familiar face she saw.

"Addie, have you seen Owen?" Amelia unceremoniously interrupted the conversation her ex sister in law was having with a distant Shepherd cousin.

"Amelia," Addison scowled, seeing the look of distress on her face. Addison knew her friend would be distressed because of Kathleen's question but she didn't expect to see the neurosurgeon that worked up. "I saw him getting the kids and saying good bye to your mom not thirty seconds ago. I thought you'd left already."

"Thanks," Amelia got out of there, without bothering to offer any other explanations. Addison probably had no idea about the fight that had unfolded after Kathleen had followed her inside.

"Amelia, are you okay? Do you need me to…?"

"I'll call you later, alright?" Amelia interrupted her, giving an insecure head nod before heading out.

.

Amelia walked home wondering how in the world Owen had been fast enough to get all eight kids and go home with them in the few minutes she'd stayed back. But her thoughts weren't at all focused on that. Instead, she was desperately trying to think of what to say when she saw him, afraid of how he would react.

Deep down, Amelia knew she had done absolutely nothing wrong. After all, William was the one to kiss her, and she had promptly shoved him aside. But she knew that explaining that to Owen wouldn't be nearly as easy. Even though her husband was calm and patient most of the time, whenever he lost his cool Amelia knew to expect the very worst. Especially if, instead of venting out and loudly voicing his anger, Owen chose to treat her with cool indifference. These were the moments when Amelia knew things were at their lowest.

Unsurprisingly, she found him in the company of the children. But unlike what usually happened, this time Owen didn't look relaxed and at ease. Instead of playing with them or engaging in activities with the kids like he would usually do, Owen kept a safe distant, looking very introvert in his own thoughts while carefully keeping an eye on the little ones with his arms folded.

Amelia silently took a few steps in his direction and waited for the perfect moment until none of the kids were within their hearing range to finally start talking.

"Owen, I…"

"Don't even," His voice sounded dangerously cold as her husband interrupted her speech without even bothering to turn around to face her.

"But I…"

"Don't." Once again he got ahead of her, using his best voice of command. "We'll deal with this later." Owen decided with a determinate tone.

Amelia knew that he was probably avoiding talking to her not only because he was exponentially angry, but also to spare the kids from figuring out something was going on. Too defeated to think of anything else, Amelia dragged her feet back into the house to hide in the bedroom. All she wanted to do was to scream and smash every single object around her against the wall.

That had been one of the worst days she could ever remember having. Not only had her family said hurtful, infuriating things, the confrontation had also happened in a moment she least expected. The fact that her husband had been there to witness God knew how much of it had already set Amelia off the edge enough. But then to have William forcing himself onto her while Owen walked in on them in the worst possible moment had been like the icing on the cake. Little did Amelia know that it would get even worse when, instead of angrily attacking William, Owen had walked away with apparent indifference.

The memory of his reaction made Amelia tear up and she felt her heart constricting when she remembered the look on Owen's face as he'd said she and William could _carry on with what they were doing_. He had stared at her with disgust and icy rejection, not at all the warm, adoring looks her husband usually reserved for her. Amelia knew that if she'd caught Owen being kissed by another woman she would flip too, but his silent implication that she could have somehow been plotting that, willingly breaking her loyalty to him made Amelia feel sick to her stomach.

Her biggest nightmare ever since she had decided to go on that stupid vacation had come true. Now, not only did Owen know about her past and probably thought less of her because of it, now he had also completely misunderstood a situation in which she'd been as much of a victim as he had. And Amelia was sure it wouldn't be easy, if at all possible, to make him understand.

The neurosurgeon had no idea how many minutes or hours she stayed closed off in her bedroom, silently sitting on the window frame while staring at the world outside. In a distance, a couple slowly jogged surrounded by two little girls in bicycles, and an old man cheerfully walked a big dog while enjoying his ice cream. They looked so ordinarily happy that Amelia couldn't help envying them. She missed her home in Seattle, the only home she'd ever really known. The place where she could go to at night and find the people she loved the most waiting for her with warm hugs and loving words. In Seattle, there was love, comprehension and everything a family should have. But instead, there across the country she found herself probably even lonelier than she had ever felt during all her years growing up.

A soft knock on the door made Amelia's thoughts vanish from her mind. Looking back at the door, she saw the figure of her five year old daughter dragging her feet into the room, dressed in adorable polka dot pajamas.

"Mom," Megan gave her a sleepy smile and frowned, preoccupied. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, baby, why wouldn't I be?" Amelia quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and pulled herself back together as much as she could.

"Dad said you weren't feeling well and that's why you didn't join us for dinner," The little girl explained, making Amelia finally wonder what time it was.

"It's nothing, sweetie, come here," Amelia reassured her daughter, realizing she'd been there for at least three hours reminiscing about every little thing.

Megan didn't hesitate and Amelia pulled her up, placing the little girl sitting on her legs with her back turned to her mom's chest while they both looked outside.

"Mom," Megan demanded attention after a while, making herself comfortable by lying her head on the curve of her mom's shoulder, "why did aunt Nancy get married today?"

Amelia frowned at first, surprised by the unexpected difficult question.

"Well," She stalled, trying to think of what to say. "Why are you asking me that?"

"Because I didn't know people could get married when they were old."

Megan's implication that her aunt was old made Amelia laugh vindictively and, in her head, she childishly praised her daughter for the unintentional insult.

"There is no age limit for marriage, Meg," Amelia explained. "As long as people are adults, they can marry whoever they want, whoever they love… There are no rules for love. Young or old."

"Then why is it that on TV they only show young people getting married and not old people?" Megan looked up, lazily resting in her mother's arms.

Amelia smiled with content for the first time that night.

"Because the world has so much love that they can't fit all of it on TV, so they only show some parts of what actually happens." The neurosurgeon tried a positive approach, hoping not to confuse her five year old.

"Oh," Megan finally seemed happy with the explanation but not fully satisfied. "When you married dad did you have a nice party like aunt Nancy had?"

The surgeon took her time and thought back about that rainy day. It had started off as one of the worst days of her life, only to turn out much differently.

"Yes," Amelia winked at her daughter, seeing the little girl's smile widen at the confession. "We had a beautiful party and even though it was raining outside, it was one of the most beautiful days I ever remember seeing."

"Mom, were you as happy as Cinderella when she married Prince Charming?"

"Even happier," Amelia confessed with a sad smile. She stroked Megan's hair gently, giving the girl a kiss on the forehead before finally turning her face to look at the street outside.

"But when you get as old as Aunt Nancy," Megan asked after minutes of hesitation, clearly still not at ease with the subject, "will you also marry someone else?"

Amelia smiled at her daughter with comprehension, finally understanding where Megan's anxiety was coming from.

"Absolutely not," She reassured the little girl with an honest smile. "Why would you think that, Meg?"

"I don't know," Megan evasively shrugged her shoulders. "My friend Libby's parents got married to other people. Aunt Nancy did too. I don't want you and dad to marry anyone else."

Amelia wrapped her arms tightly around her daughter, looking at her with absolute conviction.

"Baby, I love your dad so much," She confessed, feeling her eyes tear up at the raw honesty of her confession. "He is the only one I want to be married to."

Megan agreed with a head nod, obviously approving of her mother's words. After hearing the satisfying answer, the little girl finally turned around to look outside and Amelia gently touched the side of her face to her daughter's head, feeling Megan gently relax inside her soothing embrace.

The neurosurgeon pondered if her daughter's seemingly sudden insecurity was a coincidence but she doubted it was. Ever since she'd been very young, Megan had always showed a particularly improved perception of situations around her and Amelia knew she shouldn't be surprised if the little girl had picked up some animosity in the air. While her sons were mostly clueless to subtitles, Megan could easily pick up on what was going on around them.

Amelia knew that her relationship with Owen affected their kids directly and whenever they had their disagreements, seriously or not, the only thing the two of them had agreed on was to always spare their children. No matter how low the fight was, there was an unwritten rule that none of the kids should be used as a scapegoat or a vehicle to get to each other and for that Amelia was deeply grateful and proud. The well being of the people they loved the most in the whole world had always and would always be more important than any of the fights they'd ever have.

Soon enough, Megan fell asleep and Amelia gently picked her up, taking the girl to the room where Zola and Ellis also slept. Next door, she noticed both Danny and Robbie were already sleeping in their beds and gave each a kiss goodnight before finding Lucas, Thomas and Bailey still up playing videogames in their room. After being distracted by them for a few minutes, Amelia finally said good night and returned to her room, unsure if she would still see Owen that day.

Her anxiety was already reaching extremes when nearly two hours later, Owen finally crossed the door to the room they'd been sharing. Amelia remembered that he hadn't slept with her the night before because of a fight they'd had and she was sure Owen did too.

The minute he walked in, their eyes met and Amelia noticed that even though he seemed calmer, his expression was still hard to decipher. Truth was, she had no idea on how Owen was feeling, but she surely didn't want to make things even worse.

"Owen?" Amelia raised her chin to make eye contact with him, bravely holding his gaze. "I'm asking you please, _please_ , let's not fight again?" The events of the last twenty four hours suddenly caught up with her and Amelia felt her eyes tearing up faster than she could control. "I am tired of fighting."

Owen stared at her, apparently pondering what to do next. Finally, after long seconds, he walked out toward the bathroom without saying a word.

Amelia felt anger start to consume her again but using all the strength she had left, the neurosurgeon forced herself to calm down, taking deep breaths and exhaling slowly through her nose. Things were bad, maybe as bad as they had ever been. She and Owen had had countless ugly disagreements, but never something Amelia doubted they would be able to fix.

She noticed as, minutes later, her husband returned from the bathroom, sat on the edge of the bed across from her and took a deep breath, apparently also trying to pull himself together too.

"Tell me what happened," Owen said without his usual gentleness.

Amelia hated the way he condescendingly said the words, as if he was going to study whether her reasons would be good enough to deserve his forgiveness.

"What do you think happened?" She bitterly asked back, insubordinately defying his command. Amelia really didn't want to fight again but she wasn't going to crawl into a corner when she'd done nothing wrong. "Because you seem to believe I had actually planned on that and…"

"The guy was kissing you!" Owen interrupted her with a raised voice, clearly losing his battle to self control. "How do you want me to feel about it? Happy?! Proud?" He ironically asked, scowling when their gazes met.

"Exactly," Amelia pushed, feeling the urge to physically hit him. " _He_ kissed me and not the other way around!"

Owen looked at her, angry and frustrated but behind the amazing blue of his eyes, Amelia could also distinguish sadness and hurt. She could understand the frustration and the madness, but she couldn't see how the situation could have hurt Owen's feelings and not only his ego.

She waited for his response but nothing else came. Amelia knew that, if she wanted the situation to get any better, she would have to push her own limits and force him into talking, otherwise he would go for days in that broody, awful silence, refusing to communicate.

"You told me to go back to kissing him, Owen," She explained, feeling the first tear shedding, hating herself for it. "Do you think that low of me?"

Owen's jaw got hardened as he sustained her look, obviously feeling infuriated at her accusation.

"Do you know why I went there, Amelia?" He asked between breaths, clearly controlling his rage. "Do you know why I walked back into that room?"

After seeing how worked up and angry he still was, Amelia finally gave in, unable to fight back anymore. She was emotionally destroyed and just didn't have it in her to do it anymore. All she could give to him in response was an honest head nod in denial, showing she had no idea why he'd been back.

"Because," Owen spoke, trying his best not to unleash his wrath at her, "you had just been massacred by your family and I felt bad to be leaving you like that… I felt bad that I wasn't giving you a shoulder to cry on. Even though you were rejecting it, I knew you needed it. So I went back."

Despite the fact that Owen didn't finish his sentence, Amelia knew exactly what he was thinking. She knew that because of the horrible things her family had said, her behavior hadn't been the best but when Owen had tried to be there for her, she had pushed him away. He'd left but then come back, determinate to be there for her, even if it meant being scolded and yelled at. Her husband had decided to return to show her his support, to be bigger than that entire situation because she had needed it the most.

But instead, Owen had found Amelia already getting what he was trying to offer. And from another man.

It wasn't exactly true but Amelia knew that was exactly what Owen was feeling. Like she had second bested him, and not just to anyone. But to a guy she had a past with.

"I didn't seek his help, Owen," Amelia clarified things, nervously biting her bottom lip. "I didn't say those things to you and push you away to seek for his help. That's not how it happened."

"He was just there, right?" Owen ironically fired back, obviously hurt. "He was there and he understood?" He added, unable to hide the sting of jealousy that assaulted him.

Amelia looked at her husband and she felt her heart constricting with pain and remorse. All Owen had tried to do ever since they'd been on that trip was to understand the dynamics between her and the Shepherds, but Amelia had never let him in. With William, who was already privy to the whole background story, Amelia didn't need to lie, hide or make up excuses because Will already knew. And as bad as it seemed, his good opinion didn't matter much to Amelia.

But with Owen, it was completely different. He had never been allowed to see the horrible traumas of her past because Amelia had always kept him sheltered from it. Owen's opinion of her mattered very much and rationally or not, she had acted trying her very best to spare him from finding out how badly her family thought of her.

"Owen…" Amelia tried again, feeling anxiety consuming her. "You have to believe me, I didn't kiss him, I didn't…"

Her words trailed off as she noticed Owen getting up from the bed and taking a couple of steps in the opposite direction after turning his back on her. He was visibly frustrated and for that, being even more difficult.

"I know you didn't cheat on me, Amelia," He finally gathered the serenity to open up about his feelings. "That's not what I'm accusing you of. I saw you push him, I saw…" He stopped, unable to keep replaying the scene in his mind. Owen ran a hand through his hair, frustrated and angry. "But you did betray me."

"How did I betray you, I…?"

"Your sister had just destroyed you and I was trying to pick up the pieces!" He turned around again to face her, his entire face flushed with anger and anguish. "And you didn't let me," Owen completed, nodding his head in rejection.

"And you think I let him?" Amelia tilted her head, unconsciously denying his accusation with her neck. "I didn't, Owen. How could I?" She reasoned, trying to make him understand. "Do you think it makes a difference to me what he says? What he thinks?" The neurosurgeon added very suggestively, hoping to soften Owen so she could finally make him see it.

"I don't know," Owen replied bitterly. "Your entire past turned its back on you today," He added, knowing as well as she did that it was true. "Maybe you needed the only validation from it you could get. And it was very easy, wasn't it?" He cruelly lashed out.

Amelia felt the hit but took it bravely, knowing that just like it'd happened to her earlier that day, his words were coming from heartbreak and pain.

"I didn't need his validation, you stupid jerk!" She failed miserably to keep her composure, grabbing the first object she could find and throwing at him, breaking apart completely. "I don't care what he thinks…! I don't care if he sees me as a failure, if he thinks I am the scum of earth, I don't care what any of them think…" Amelia finally admitted, feeling her shoulders start to shake from the sobs. "But to see you…" She looked up at him and Owen noticed the pool of tears that had formed in her eyes. "To see you looking at me like _they_ look at me… I just… I can't, Owen." Amelia humbly admitted between sobs. "Not you."

Owen quickly forgot about the pillow she'd thrown at him when his wife covered her face with both hands and started to cry convulsively. It was a lot to process but finally, it made to sense to him why Amelia had always resisted sharing the complicated past she'd had with her family with him.

It was clear that, unlike his wife had said, their opinion about her still affected Amelia very much. But he didn't doubt for a second when she'd indirectly admitted that to have him regarding her as a disappointment hurt the most.

"You listen now," Owen took two large strides in her direction and tried to control his anger. He was hardly mad at her anymore. Instead, he was loathing not only himself for being so stupid to realize what was happening but mostly her family for treating his wife with such neglect and injustice. Even though Amelia reluctantly pulled away, Owen held her face between his hands and stared deeply into her eyes. "You are _not_ a disappointment to me."

"I know," Amelia succeeded to finally push him away, unable to bear the idea of letting her guard down again.

"You are not a disappointment, Amelia," Owen repeated, knowing the healing powers the words could have, but also how they would initially set her off.

"I know that!" She lied and tried to escape, getting up and walking past him but Owen grabbed her and held his wife in his arms against her will, irritated at her behavior.

"You grew up your entire life thinking you let your family down, but let me give you a head ups…"

"Shut up!" Amelia angrily shouted back, far too exposed to hold back the tears. She couldn't deal with that, not that night. Not after being massacred over and over throughout the entire day. The last thing Amelia wanted was to get in touch with the root of all her problems with her family. They had reached her deepest wound and it hurt too much.

"You're not the disappointment," Owen said with propriety, hating to be subduing her to that but knowing it was necessary. If Amelia didn't let it out now, they would go back to Seattle and she might never deal with those feelings again, forever keeping them hidden inside a tiny box hoping they'd go away and avoiding acknowledging how much it still affected her. "You are not the disappointment," He repeated, hoping to finally make her see it. "They are."

Even though Amelia still resisted, she finally held eye contact with him, obviously startled by what her husband had just said. Owen noticed the surprise in her eyes and took advantage of the fact that now at least he had her willful attention.

"You didn't fail them, babe," Owen said, not letting go of the tight grasp he had around her. "They failed _you_."

Amelia rejected the crazy notion and once again, splayed her hands on his chest, attempting to push him back.

"Stop," Owen instructed her, trying to keep her still. "Stop fighting me and just listen," He asked more reasonably. "Imagine this… If I died today, how do you think Meg would feel?"

Once again, the words had the intended effect and Amelia stopped struggling, turning her head up to stare at him. Whenever her eyes were drowning in so much sorrow, Owen felt all of his defenses slowly crumbling, knowing that seeing her in pain was his biggest weakness.

"She is five years old," Owen reasoned, knowing that was exactly the age Amelia had lost her own father. "If I died, I am pretty sure you'd know _exactly_ how Megan would feel…" He went on, seeing he had her entire attention. The hypothetical situation alarmed Amelia and she refused to think about it, unable to imagine her own daughter going through the pain she once had. "Stop fighting and answer me," Owen asked a little more roughly. "What would you do?" He asked, knowing he was pushing a button. "Would you lie to her? Would you pretend I didn't exist and never mention my name again, walking on eggshells every time my absence was felt?" He asked, knowing how deeply it would affect her.

Amelia kept struggling inside her husband's embrace, rejecting every word she was hearing. Owen's confrontation was bringing back memories she'd long buried within herself. And feelings she'd spent her entire life trying to deny. The implication that a five year old girl could lose her dad and her family could overlook it, unconsciously or not choosing to deny it rather than dealing with the situation hurt too much.

Because that was exactly where Amelia had been once.

"How do you think the boys would treat Meg if she saw me dying?" Owen went even further, knowing he was resorting to the most powerful feeling in Amelia's heart: motherly love. He was absolutely sure that, while hesitating and holding back when confronted with a situation, Amelia wouldn't think twice before stepping up and fighting the world if it meant protecting any of her children. "Do you think they would ignore it too? Or would they talk to her, hold her and make sure Megan knew she was safe because she has four big brothers to protect her?"

"I don't want to hear this, stop it," Amelia pleaded, unable to fight anymore. Hypothetically or not, she could't begin to consider the scenario Owen was talking about. Because she'd walked in those shoes once, Amelia knew exactly what it felt like. And how much it hurt. "Please, Owen, stop!"

Owen felt his heart getting heavier and for a minute he considered stopping, knowing his wife was probably feeling tortured. But he knew that hearing that was as necessary as it was painful. He unwillingly relaxed his grip around her but resumed talking, trying to make his wife see the point.

"Imagine the situation, Amelia. If I wasn't here, if Meg had to see me gone, how do you think that would make her feel?" He tested, seeing her agonizingly breaking down. "Insecure? Vulnerable…?"

"Owen, stop… Shut up!" Amelia screamed back between tears. "You don't get to talk about this," She closed her fists and hit his chest repeatedly, trying to free herself so she could escape that torment. "It wasn't your family, you don't know!"

"I know I love my daughter," Owen confessed, looking at his wife with compassion and longing, pulling her closer so her arms were trapped between their bodies and she couldn't punch him anymore. "I know I love her as much as I am sure your dad once loved you. And I know that if I wasn't here, even though no one could play the part I have in her life, I know she wouldn't get neglected or ignored or have her trauma frowned up…" He affirmed with conviction. Amelia was too much of an amazing mom to ever let that happen. She knew pain and she would be able to deal with it, putting her child's needs above anything else. "I know Luke would step up to protect Meg like Derek probably tried to protect you." He went on, drawing the parallels Amelia needed so much to hear. "And I doubt Tom or Robbie or Danny would ever turn their backs on our daughter or make her feel like she wasn't worth as much because she needed to grief such an immense loss."

Owen's words hit too close to home and finally, Amelia stopped fighting him, freeing herself before collapsing on the edge of the bed. She hid her face in her hands and gave in to tears, feeling weak, embarrassed and absolutely ashamed to be a grown adult and still be uncontrollably crying for the five year old girl she'd once been.

"It's wasn't their fault that they failed you…" Owen once again read her mind, crouching down in front of her, succeeding in being there when she needed it the most. "I am sure they tried but they were too immersed in their own pain to see what was going on around them," He added, knowing she was aware he was referring to her family. "But that doesn't change the fact that they did fail to take care of you. You were only five years old, Amelia. You couldn't have carried that weight all on your own and yet that's what they told you your whole you should have done," Owen held her hands and gently moved them away from her face, seeing how she closed her eyes harder to avoid his look. "You grew up hearing that so often that at some point, you started to believe it," He concluded, knowing she was processing his every word. "But it's not true. Now I know it," Owen admitted, feeling like an idiot for once doubting her impressions. "I am sorry," He got up and sat beside her on the bed, encircling one arm around her shoulders at the same she leaned into his embrace. "I am so sorry…"

Amelia kept on crying all the tears that were long overdue. Her entire life, people had failed to notice what Owen had suddenly made so clear with a few words. Growing up, Amelia had barely had a support system. She had always felt like no one understood her at home. After her brother had gotten married, Addison had been a safe outlet, but the approval and validation Amelia had needed from her mother, brother and sisters had hardly ever come. Slowly, over the years, after hearing so much about the big disappointment she was, she'd really started to believe it.

But Owen was right. Amelia hadn't been the one to victimize herself. She had actually been a victim. The situation she'd been through was incredibly traumatizing to be ignored or frowned upon and when her early signs of distress had started to show, her family had mostly treated it as "acting out". It was easy to realize that now because Amelia had Megan. Her daughter was a five year old girl who had four older siblings. If the same thing had happened to _her_ family, Amelia was absolutely sure Megan's fate would be much different than hers had been. And for that, she was deeply grateful and proud.

Owen held her for long minutes until the very last tear that needed to be cried slowly stopped to fall. He sat silently by her side, honoring his promise to protect her and be there for her no matter what.

"I think I need some time…" Amelia pulled away swiftly, wiping away the tears left on her face. Too embarrassed to look at him, she grabbed her pajamas and went to the bathroom, with the obvious intention to hide there.

"Take your time," Owen gently replied, fully understanding why she needed to be alone at that moment.

.

He went downstairs and got busy doing the dinner dishes, trying his very best to be patient and give Amelia the space she needed. For the next hour, Owen pondered if he should go back upstairs or sleep in the guest room he'd used the previous night. After all, he'd made sure she knew he was available at anytime and Amelia had clearly said she needed some time alone. So, whenever she felt like she needed him, his wife could easily find him.

But acting by his thoughts proved to be much different than Owen had initially imagined. Now that he had time to think and slowly digest everything he'd uncovered today, it made a lot of sense that Amelia would desperately try to avoid talking about her family with him. Their marriage and the strong foundation upon which they'd built their family contrasted completely with what she'd once had and the idea of adding some of those painful experiences to what she now built with him was too overwhelming for his wife. And Owen felt absolutely touched that she'd freaked out when she believed her past could compromise the good opinion he had of her.

The trauma surgeon dwelled on the thoughts for long hours, aimlessly moving the TV remote, trying to focus on the movie that was playing. After realizing he wouldn't be able to, Owen tried falling asleep on the couch. It was already past one in the morning when he finally gave up and slowly climbed the stairs to the upper floor, going straight to his room.

As predicted, Owen found his wife silently lying on the bed in the dark with her back turned to him. By her irregular breathing and quiet sniffing, he was sure she wasn't asleep. Owen could fully imagine how devastated Amelia was and he desperately wanted to comfort her. And even though she'd pushed him away several times that day, he still wasn't intimidated by the obvious defense mechanism.

Slowly moving in the dark, Owen lay down beside her and wrapped one arm around his wife without saying a word. Amelia was startled by his presence, but she wasn't really surprised. Turning around, she finally accepted his embrace, fiercely holding him back in return.

"With so much going on today," Owen smiled in the dark, closing his eyes and breathing her in while rejoicing in finally being able to touch and hold her again, "I forgot to say the most important thing," He lazily smiled, touching her chin to bring her face up. When he noticed his wife was fully paying attention, Owen added. "I love you."

Amelia responded to his confession by tightening her grip around his body, desperately seeking the security of Owen's arms.

"I am sorry too," She breathed out and bit her lower lip nervously. "I am sorry for everything."

"Babe, you have nothing to be sorry for," Owen assured her, realizing how wonderful and selfless the woman he loved really was. Even amidst all that pain, she still found it in her heart to worry about the people she loved.

"I never meant to hurt you or make you feel that you weren't important," She confessed, looking into his eyes in the darkness. "You're way too important, Owen and I swear I don't want to marry anyone else, not even when I get older. I don't…"

As Amelia said the words, she buried her face on the crook of his neck, not realizing the heavy frown she'd put on her husband's face. Owen waited a couple of seconds to see if she was going to explain it but seeing as she didn't, he wasn't left any other choice but to ask:

"What? Marry anyon… What?"

Amelia slightly chuckled, visibly in a better mood than she'd been all day. Gently bringing her face up, she explained to her husband all about the conversation she'd had with Megan earlier that day. Owen smiled back and pointed out how that wasn't the only thing their daughter had made her mom realize that day.

"I want to go home," Amelia confessed, resting her cheek on his chest, being soothed by the steady beats of his heart.

Owen rubbed her back gently, still trying to comfort her while knowing that he'd finally be able to sleep that night.

"I know. I do too," He admitted with a grin. "Tomorrow. We're going home tomorrow."

"I can't wait," Amelia cheered, thinking about how much she needed the familiarity of their place.

"I hate to say this babe, but you know it won't do you any good if we just leave like that?" He raised an eyebrow, knowing Amelia was aware he was talking about the fight she'd had with her family.

"Yeah, I know," Amelia replied without much conviction, avoiding thinking about her family, especially in a moment like that. She was finally back in Owen's arms and that's all that mattered. That was all she needed. "Can we talk about this in the morning? I am drained."

"Whenever you want," Owen assured her, making sure he wouldn't push her if she didn't feel ready to embark on the matter anytime soon. "Close your eyes and get some rest now."

"Will do."

He slightly bent forward, giving her a kiss on the forehead before allowing himself to relax, hoping to get some much needed rest.

"Owen?" Amelia's voice resonated in the room seconds later, right when her husband was just dozing off.

"Yes?" He asked his wife with a sleepy voice, gently running his fingers through her hair as he noticed she already had her eyes closed.

"I love you too."

–

We'll wrap up this story on the next chapter!


	10. Chapter 10

My Boys: Beneath the Surface – Chapter 10 (Finale)

Owen slowly woke up feeling the light touch of his wife's hand idly caressing him as she rubbed her thumb on his chest while still lying with her head on his shoulder. From the angle he was in, it wasn't possible to see the expression on her face but Owen was sure she had her blue eyes wide open, silently contemplating their surroundings while deeply lost in thought.

The trauma surgeon was aware of the importance the events from the previous day had, as well as the impact they had caused. It was too much to process and he couldn't blame Amelia for losing her sleep over it. The things she'd said and been told, not just by her family but later also by him had been accompanied by a wave of powerful emotions. Owen was sure that Amelia would probably still take some time to catch up with everything.

He also supposed that a big load had been taken off her back when, just hours before, he'd finally been able to make her see that she wasn't to blame for most of the things that had happened to her while growing up. Amelia was far from being a disappointment and even though that notion wouldn't change in her mind overnight, Owen knew that the first and most important step had been taken when she'd finally acknowledged the fact that her family had indeed failed her, and not the other way around.

Gently bending forward, Owen covered her hand with his, letting his wife know he was awake. Amelia immediately turned her head up to meet his eyes and he couldn't help himself when she smiled through an anguished look.

Whenever he saw Amelia drowning in pain like that, it was Owen's most visceral instinct to try to protect her. Seeing the woman he loved with all his heart suffering was nerve wrecking and unsettling. All he wanted to do was to hold her and shield her from the world to guarantee nothing else could get to her. But the feelings Amelia were dealing with were far beyond his reach. They had to do with her family and her personal experiences, so there wasn't much he could say or do other than being there for her. Owen knew it was frustrating to feel so powerless in face of the situation so he was inclined to do the only thing left within his reach, which was to pamper and spoil her in the effort to somehow ease her sorrow.

"Hey there," He sweetly whispered, running his open palm beneath her shirt. The contact of his hand with Amelia's warm, soft skin made her twitch her muscles in response and he smiled at her languished reaction. "Did you get any sleep at all?"

"Just a little," She confessed with full honesty, leaning over to seek his embrace.

At the same time Amelia did it, her husband rolled to the side and swiftly forced her to lie on her back, making himself comfortable right next to her. Owen propped his hand on one elbow and used his free hand to caress her cheek with affection.

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" He asked with consideration, knowing it was unlikely that she would. Amelia was usually up very early and unlike him, she required few hours of sleep at night to be fully restored. But that day, a whirlwind of emotions had assaulted her and Owen knew her mind and heart probably needed a break. "I'll stay here with you if you do."

Amelia turned to her side, facing him. She smiled widely, deeply grateful for how perfectly Owen could read her mind.

"How about going back home?" She teasingly asked, but still seduced by the idea of falling back asleep in his arms. "We have a lot of packing to do. A lot of kids to supervise. A rental house to return…"

Owen didn't have a proper response to that so instead, he kept busy making her laugh as he playfully attacked her neck with kisses while trapping her in his arms. Just when he thought his wife was going to fight him to free herself, she wrapped both her arms around his neck, clinging to him even harder.

"I love your idea but we have to get going," Amelia realized with frustrated practicality. "Maybe once we are home we can reschedule your offer?"

Owen smiled adorably at her, overwhelmed with love. He gave her a quick peck on the lips before replying:

"You can count on it."

.

"Amelia," Owen sighed, trying his best to be patient. "You're taking up twice as much space as you'd need if you just…"

His voice trailed off as he took a pair of jeans she'd thrown in open suitcase and carefully turned into a roll, saving up a lot of room inside the piece of luggage.

"Everything will be washed once we're home, you don't need to go all soldier on me about this," Amelia smiled mischievously, provocatively picking up a large portion of clothes and mercilessly throwing them inside the suitcase. "See?" Her eyes sparkled when she gave him her most adorable child-like smile, swiftly zipping the bag with the mess inside. "I'm being way more practical."

"I should put _you_ in the bag and close it," Owen playfully replied, taking one step in her direction when they were interrupted by the sound of the door bell.

When Amelia turned her head and frowned at him, Owen realized she was just as confused about who could be at their door. They'd spent the entire morning helping the kids to pack everything and now, all they needed was to finish gathering their own stuff so they could finally leave for the airport.

"You finish that masterpiece over there," Owen smiled at her and pointed to the only piece of luggage that was still opened in the room. "I'll get the door."

Imaging it was one of the owners of the house coming back for the keys, the trauma surgeon rushed downstairs and passed by the kids, seeing they were all gathered watching TV. The presence of two women outside surprised Owen, even though he knew he should have seen it coming.

"Hey, Carolyn," He nodded his head acknowledging her presence and then made eye contact with Amelia's sister. "Liz."

"Hi, Owen," Liz replied sheepishly, seeing how serious her brother in law looked. "I know you guys are getting ready to leave but is there a chance we can see Amy before you go?"

Owen hesitated but finally decided to take a step back, making room for the Shepherds to walk into the house. He knew that with the kids on the bottom floor, there would be no privacy so he made another quick decision he wasn't sure his wife would be on board with.

Amelia heard the knocks on the door and cheerfully looked up from the opened bag just to feel her smile vanishing instantly.

"That's not exactly the welcome I expected to see," Carolyn confessed awkwardly, trying unsuccessfully to lighten the atmosphere.

Amelia's eyes met Owen's and he saw the disapproval in them, hurrying to explain:

"Your mom wanted to see you before you left," Owen said, taking one step back and giving them privacy in the spacious room. "If you need me, I'll be downstairs with the kids."

Owen's gentle way of saying Amelia wouldn't have to deal with the situation had she chosen not to didn't go unnoticed and she proudly waited until her husband was gone to finally make eye contact with her mother.

"I know you're leaving today…" Carolyn started a little embarrassingly, watching as Amelia resumed packing while she talked. The way her daughter didn't stop to give her mother her full attention showed how resentful Amelia was. "I just didn't want you to leave without saying a word… Not after what happened yesterday."

Amelia was about to throw two shirts into the case but she stopped half way through it.

"You mean, how I ruined Nancy's wedding?" Amelia childishly replied, more bitterly than she would have liked.

"Amy, please…" Carolyn let out a sigh of impatience, really hoping her daughter would cooperate. "I am not here to talk about your sister," She explained, trying to keep calm. "I came here to talk about you."

Her mother's words got Amelia's attention and feeling suddenly intrigued, she finally let go of the clothes, sitting down on the edge of the bed to at last give Carolyn her full attention.

"Talk ahead," Amelia noticed how uncomfortable her mother looked and pushed her on purpose, involuntarily testing the woman.

Carolyn took a deep breath and bravely looked her daughter in the eyes.

"Amy, even though you think I somehow have some sick pleasure in doing this, in fighting you, I don't," Carolyn read her daughter like a book, seeing the guilt stamped in Amelia's eyes when she was unexpectedly busted. "Contrary to what you think, it doesn't give me any satisfaction to tell you off when I need to… But I'll keep doing it for the rest of my life if need be."

Amelia finally incorporated a humbler attitude and felt her shoulders shrinking, familiarly feeling like her mother was going to give her some sort of big lecture.

"I'm sorry," Carolyn surprised her with an apology. "I am sorry for all the things you had to hear and all the things you had to go through," Her mother said with conviction. "It breaks my heart to imagine that you…" The older woman bit her bottom lip and Amelia knew she was talking about the discoveries her family had made the previous night about her relapse and loss of a child while in Los Angeles. "I am sorry beyond words that you went through all of that… And alone, on top of it."

"I wasn't alone," Amelia proudly defied her, refusing to cave in to tears and any kind of self pity. "I had people who loved me and supported me," She provoked, unconsciously letting her mother know that she didn't consider her blood family to be any of those things.

"I am sorry, Amy," Carolyn felt the weight of the words but didn't let them get in the way of what she'd gone there to say. "For all the times you felt like I didn't understand you, or support you the way you needed me to."

Her mother's honest confession surprised Amelia and she found herself unusually not knowing what to say.

"I know I made a lot of mistakes," Carolyn went on with her humble admission. "But I always had your best interest in mind every morning when I got out of bed. Yours and your siblings'. That's what got me through all these years," The older woman confessed embarrassingly. "That and seeing how well you did despite everything you've been through… Seeing you and siblings succeeding in life has always been my biggest victory of all and I am sorry for the times I failed to be there for you."

Amelia had expected her mother to, as usual, give her a harsh speech on how she always made things more difficult but instead, the neurosurgeon was surprised with what sounded like a genuine and heartfelt apology.

"I am sorry, mom," Amelia lowered her voice, ashamed to have been so aggressive when her mother had arrived. She had a clear perspective on things now and even though Amelia still carried a lot of residual anger for everything that'd happened to her, she also knew the only path to plenitude and peace of mind was forgiveness. "I am sorry too. I'm sure you did your very best. I never doubted it."

Carolyn discreetly nodded yes and Amelia wondered if her mother was silently imagining that her best had not always been enough. She knew her mother was a tough, proud woman and it was already hard on her to be admitting to anything so Amelia decided to take what she'd been offered and try to be optimistic about the small step forward they'd just taken instead of their several step backs in the past.

The neurosurgeon watched as her mother awkwardly got up, apparently not knowing what else to say or do. Amelia felt the uncomfortable atmosphere lingering in the air and she finally realized she really didn't want to leave on bad terms with her family.

"You tell Nancy and Kate that I'm sorry too," Amelia humbly admitted. "I'm sorry I said all those nasty things to them. I use their own pain against them and that wasn't very nice of me."

"They weren't exactly easy on your either," Carolyn stated with a corner smile, showing comprehension.

"Yeah, but…" Amelia hesitated, unsure of how she really felt. "I don't know, I guess I'm trying to be better than that. I really am." She played with a loose thread on the luggage handle, trying to distract herself. "I believe I can be."

"I believe you already are," Carolyn confessed, finally closing the gap between them as she took one step forward and gently touched her daughter's face with her hand. Her youngest child had been the most difficult one to bring up but Amelia was also the most generous and kind hearted person Carolyn had ever met. She remembered how back in the day her five year old daughter had repeatedly tried to comfort her when Carolyn should have been the one to comfort her young girl.

The oldest woman was preparing to leave when she turned around and bluntly said.

"I'm really sorry I didn't go to your wedding, sweetheart." Amelia felt her eyes involuntarily accumulating tears but she refused to shed any of them. Her mother kept staring deeply into her eyes as she added, "I'm sure you were a beautiful bride," Carolyn smiled with affection. "Maybe next time I go to Seattle you could show me the pictures?"

Amelia assented with a head nod, knowing her mother was also trying to build a bridge between them. Time and a lot of pain had widened the distance but Amelia hoped that it wasn't yet too late for her to have a functional relationship with her mother. Slowly, over time, maybe they could someday meet in the middle.

"I'd like that," She smiled discreetly, still unsure of what else to say.

"Your sister is downstairs," Carolyn let her know. "She wants to see you too."

The neurosurgeon followed her mother to the bottom floor, seeing Liz interact with her nieces and nephews in the TV room. When Amelia's eyes met Owen's, she gave him a smile of reassurance, showing that everything was alright.

"There you are," Liz unceremoniously stepped forward, wrapping her younger sister in a tight hug, "I just wanted to say bye before you left."

Amelia didn't hesitate and fiercely put her arms around her sister in return, deeply appreciating how considerate and balanced Liz was.

"I'll wait for you in Seattle," The neurosurgeon smiled when they finally pulled apart.

"Well, Tom here has just invited me to his tennis tournament in September," Liz looked from her sister to her proud eleven year old nephew. "Now I have the perfect reason to go," She added, seeing how flattered the boy was with her statement.

Amelia smiled in return, soon after seeing off her mother and sister. It was with a mix of freedom and sorrow that later that day she embarked on a plane, leaving the familiarity of the city she'd grown up in to finally go back to the only place she'd ever been able to truly call home.

.

"Grandma!"

Amelia heard the excitement in Danny's voice as the boy rushed to be the first to get off the car, rushing towards the front door of their house where his grandmother stood, surprising them.

"Ohh, I've missed you so much," Evelyn embraced the eight year old, opening her arms to get other hugs just as warm from her four other grandkids. "One week is too much time for me to be without you."

"I agree," Lucas nodded affirmatively, carrying two bags inside while the group followed their grandma. "I missed your cooking too, grandma, one week is also too long for me to be without your food."

Evelyn cracked up laughing and surrounded his shoulders with one arm.

"Well, luckily for you, the wait is over. Go check the kitchen."

Thomas successfully got out of the way in time as Lucas dropped the bags on the floor and rushed into the house before his siblings.

"Evelyn…" Amelia smiled coyly, smiling at her mother in law as Owen closed the front door after them. "You shouldn't have bothered!"

"You know it's no bother at all," Evelyn replied with genuine happiness, heading out to heat the dinner she'd prepared while waiting for her son and family.

"Megan, take your shoes off the couch, please," Owen reprimanded the five year old, watching as the little girl promptly obeyed before turning her attention back to her brothers. The trauma surgeon then turned to his wife, unsure if they should unpack at once and be done with it or wait until they were rested from the long journey home. "I had no idea Meredith was going to the airport to pick up her kids. Bailey surely looked happy."

"I told her the flight schedule yesterday but I wasn't sure if she'd make it," Amelia confessed, rejoicing in the familiarity of her own house. "I didn't want to get their hopes up, you know." She added, referring to her nephew and nieces.

Owen agreed with his head and soon after, Evelyn told them dinner was ready. A couple of hours later, as the bags were unpacked and everyone had comfortably changed from their traveling clothes to their pajamas after warm showers, Amelia stood quietly beside her mother in law, drying the dishes as Evelyn finished handing them over.

"You look unusually distracted today, dear," Owen's mother said, watching Amelia's distant gaze at where her son and grandchildren were gathered around the coffee table playing with what looked like a board game. "Is everything alright?"

Amelia blinked repeatedly, trying to catch up with the words before finally focusing on reality around her again.

"I'm sorry," She gave Evelyn an apologetic smile. "Were you saying something?"

The older lady turned the sink off and dried her hands before fully turning around in Amelia's direction.

"How was the week with your family?" Evelyn asked delicately, knowing the subject could be uncomfortable. She hoped not to push her daughter in law but, at the same time, to make sure she knew Evelyn was available to talk if she needed her. Owen's mother had never been entitled to details about her daughter in law's family, but judging by how little she'd heard about them over the years and, at the same time, how affectionate and caring Amelia was with her husband and kids, Evelyn could only assume their relationship was very strained.

The neurosurgeon felt deeply touched by her mother in law's concern. Evelyn's perception really was amazing. Maybe she was the one Megan had gotten that from.

"It was…" Amelia hesitated, smiling with a reinvigorated mood, "…eventful," she summarized, chuckling in sequence.

"Well," Evelyn grinned with wisdom. "Eventful is better than boring."

Amelia cracked up laughing, seeing how thoughtful the older lady was by not be asking too many questions. She looked from Evelyn to Owen, at the same time he was holding Robbie up in his arms and pretending to be devouring the boy's belly, making their son giggle at the tickles.

"I've always wanted a big family," Amelia randomly confessed, opening the cabinet above the sink to stock the plates she'd just finished drying. "I guess I needed reassurance that big families can indeed be functional and work out properly, you know?"

"Oh, sweetheart, but you didn't need to fly all the way across the country for that," Evelyn replied with confidence, watching the same scene Amelia just had moments before.

"You're right," The neurosurgeon agreed, totally convinced. Evelyn was absolutely right. Amelia had the confirmation right in front of her. "I know we don't usually talk about this, but…" She hesitated, hoping not to be nosy. "Did Owen have a good relationship with Megan?" She asked with curiosity. Her husband rarely talked about his sister but in the few occasions he did, the memories seemed to be happy and Amelia felt like she was always craving to hear more about Owen's seemingly happy childhood.

"They were very close," Evelyn commented, studying Amelia's features as her daughter in law watched her husband and kids from a distance with flagrant contentment. "She was always following him everywhere and when their dad died, they got even closer."

Amelia's heart tightened when she heard the words. Trying her hardest to control her emotions, she turned around and smiled widely at the older lady who, over the years, had become a true mother figure to her.

"I am so happy for him that they did," Amelia confessed, knowing in her heart she was being completely honest. When her own father had died, the grief had invariably created a distance between her and her sisters. She was happy and pleased for Owen that, for him, the similar loss had instead helped to strengthen a bond. "I want my kids to be the same." She confessed, watching as the five children playfully interacted. "I want them to always be close to each other."

"Don't worry about it either, dear," Evelyn winked at her, finally leaving the sink as she and Amelia walked together to the living room. "They already are."

.

It didn't take Amelia long to readjust back to life at home. Soon enough, the kids went back to school and life returned to the comfortable and satisfying routine or their everyday lives. Occasionally, she would think about her mother and her sisters and dwell on whether or not to call them.

A few times, Amelia had gone ahead and called. At first she felt stupid to be calling and made up some silly excuses as to why she'd called, like saying that Megan had just finished reading her first book and wanted to share that or how well Lucas had done in the soccer tournament. But it didn't take long for the calls to be reciprocated and whenever Amelia picked up the phone and heard their voices, she could finally be at peace, knowing that the strained relationship she'd always had with her family was finally starting to change for the better.

"Hey, you paged me?" Amelia entered the trauma room inside the Emergency Department on a random Thursday, seeing one of the interns walking away with a scan at the same time that Owen looked up from a patient to meet her eyes.

"Yeah," He pointed to the elderly lady on the gurney with his head. "This is Sadie Carter, seventy six, she and her friend Dawson here were in a ballroom dance when Sadie slipped on… what was it again?" Owen asked with a charming smile, too polite to repeat the lady's word as he looked from the small laceration he was almost done suturing on the patient's head to her worried face.

"My own dress," Sadie rolled her eyes in mock impatience at herself.

"Yes," Owen confirmed with a head nod. "She suffered a small concussion but according to her friend, didn't lose conscience," The trauma surgeon cut the last suture knot before looking at Dawson for confirmation. "Head CT is clear, no signs of hematomas but I thought you'd like to take a look before we clear her."

"Sure," Amelia stepped in between the two cheerful old ladies, both dressed in fancy ballroom clothes. The neurosurgeon grabbed the films and turned on a light screen before placing them where she could get a better view.

"Well, I guess you don't need me here anymore," Owen smiled at the patient while taking off his gloves. "I'll leave you in the capable hands of Dr. Shepherd, Sadie, so I can go update your son, okay? I'll see you later."

Owen politely nodded at the elderly woman before making an exit. Amelia carefully examined the scan when she heard the two seniors giggling, much like two teenagers at prom. When her eyes went from the exam to the patient, the cheerful old woman read the question in her eyes.

"We were just talking about how handsome and charming that fine surgeon was!" Sadie confessed with a wink, apparently proud of herself for noticing it.

"He was a hunk!" Dawson exclaimed, eager to share her opinion too.

"Did you see the size of his hands?" Sadie's eyes widened with mirth as she looked at the loyal friend beside her. "You can tell by his beautiful hands that he can perform miracles, isn't that right, Dr. Shepherd?" The older lady clearly had fun while giving her impression on the doctor who'd just taken care of her.

"I really couldn't say," Amelia tried to hide her amused smile. If the old ladies knew about the dirty direction her thoughts had taken at the mention of the miracles Owen's hands could perform, the excited duo would probably be shocked.

"You've very lucky to work here," Dawson blushed, looking from Amelia to one of the young residents who strode by with an impeccable white coat hanging over his shoulder. "Such a nice view from every angle," She added with good humor.

"So the two of you were ball dancing, huh?" Amelia felt her mood improving at how happy and positive the two seniors seemed. She picked up a flashlight pen from her pocket and started a neuro check on Sadie. "How was the _view_ in there?" She suggestively asked, making the two old ladies laugh at ease and assume Dr. Shepherd was already one of them.

"It was a good view," Sadie said with sass. "But nothing like the parades you have in here," the old lady realized with a wide grin, allowing Amelia to examine the reflexes on her arms and legs.

"We are very fortunate, yes" Amelia distractedly agreed with a smile while finishing the exam. "Looks like you're good to go, Sadie."

"I honestly wonder how one could focus on work with so many distractions," Sadie carried on with her lighthearted assessment. "But I swear, if I were forty years younger, I would not leave this ER without getting that fine doctor's number, no sir!" The patient whispered, apparently disclosing a big secret. "Not only is he very adorable and fine to look at, he also has impeccable manners!"

"Will you please tell Dr. Hunt how thankful we are?" Dawson asked while helping her friend with her belongings. "He is the best doctor I've seen… So thoughtful, kind and gentle…" She rambled, lost in her own thoughts. "Of course we are thankful to you too, dear," The patient's friend added with genuine consideration.

"Thank you," Amelia contained her laughter as she looked up from the patient's file to look the two women in the eyes. "And don't worry, I'll let him know as soon as I see him."

Sadie looked at the ring on Amelia's finger and sternly decided to ask before she left, "do you know if Dr. Hunt is married, Dr. Shepherd?" The old lady smiled with pretend regret and went on before hearing Amelia's answer. "I mean, not that it matters much because even if he is, it doesn't hurt to look at that fine figure, right?" She winked at Amelia while the neurosurgeon helped her get up from the bed, incessantly chatting. "His wife is one lucky woman."

"She is very lucky indeed," Amelia replied, finding it harder to hide how amused she was. "Dr. Hunt really is the best we have here," The neurosurgeon added, making the two women look at her in alarm. She was usually strictly professional in the workplace but at that moment, Amelia couldn't help sharing that one private detail of her personal life as she teasingly looked at the patient and affirmed with a proud smile. "I can personally attest it."

"Oh?" Sadie's eyes grew with curiosity, silently asking the question. "Really?"

"Yes," Amelia confirmed with a lighthearted smile, seeing the two seniors giggle in response at her confession. "Dr. Hunt is my husband."

"Oh!" Sadie said with such spontaneity that Amelia couldn't help laughing. "You lucky little thing!" She and Dawson exchanged excited gazes like two teenagers. "Well, I hope I'm not being too nosy dear, but if I were you I wouldn't waste another second before having that man's baby."

"I didn't," Amelia's mouth let the information slip before she could help herself. Bending forward mysteriously, she whispered before opening the door to the exit of the room. "Five times, actually."

The duo laughed in response with a mix of pleasure and amusement. Amelia saw them off with a smile, returning to the nurses' station at the same time Owen approached the board, placing a tablet back at the charts area.

"Are you ready to go home?" He asked, oblivious to what had just happened. "What?" The trauma surgeon asked with a curious smile, noticing the estranged, happy look on his wife's face.

"Oh, nothing," Amelia smiled back at him, also returning her chart to the common area. "Your patient was just too entertaining."

"Very cheerful old lady," Owen agreed, placing his hands in his pants pockets as he walked alongside his wife through the long corridor. "Do you need to check on something else before we go?" The surgeon considerately asked before opening the door to the attendings lounge, politely making room for Amelia to enter before him. "I can go ahead and pick up the kids while you finish up here."

"No, I'll be ready in a second," Amelia hurried to change her clothes, watching as Owen took a seat on the couch nearby. "I thought maybe we could pick them up together today?" She suggested.

Owen smiled approvingly and looked at her with curiosity, still intrigued by how happy and cheerful she looked. Amelia was always lively and optimistic but she appeared to look especially dazzled that afternoon.

"What are you up to?" Owen furrowed his brows, clearly suspicious.

"What do you mean?" She frowned at him, seeing him squint his eyes as he studied her a little harder. "Nothing!" Amelia laughed with honesty, having fun with his defensiveness. "I'm just happy that we're going home, that's all."

"Amelia," Owen reasoned, still not buying it. "We go home every day," He said with perfect logic, proving why that argument wasn't valid. "That's not a reason to be this happy."

"Fine," Amelia finished placing her things on her cubby and stretched out one hand. Owen quickly took it and got up, leaving the room beside her. "You might think this is very silly but your patient has just said some things that have really touched me."

"Oh?" Owen's expression got heavier as he gave her a look of support and sympathy, immediately assuming the touching subject had been Amelia's long lost son. "What has she said?"

"Oh, no, it was nothing like that," Amelia saw the question on his face. "It wasn't anything extraordinary, really," She laughed, ignoring they were at work and wrapping one arm around his torso as they walked to the parking lot. "Sadie was just pointing out that the woman who is married to her new favorite doctor," She looked at Owen very suggestively, letting him know it was him, "is a very lucky girl," The neurosurgeon added, making her husband smile embarrassingly. "And guess what?" Amelia stopped walking as they reached the car. "Sadie is absolutely right."

Owen smiled in response, wondering where that sweet love confession was coming from, but he really didn't mind. Taking one step forward, the trauma surgeon gently kissed his wife's lips before entering the car with her. It didn't take Amelia long to fight him for control of the radio and with a pretend sight of conformation, Owen let her have her way, focusing on the road ahead as he drove through the city towards the school to pick up their kids.

Amelia distractedly looked from the window to her husband. She smiled with devotion as she affectionately placed her hand on his thigh, fully enjoying the quiet silence interrupted only by the soothing music on the radio. Soon enough, the car would be filled with five very loud, very adorable kids she loved more than life itself.

It was funny to realize how, at the same time Amelia had been running and hiding from her past all her life, she had also been desperately in need to go back to New York to finally get some answers instead of the merely superficial appearances she'd gotten through the years. The way her family had involuntarily swept the dirt under the carpet and often chosen to live a make believe life instead of dealing with the truth had been excruciatingly painful to deal with while growing up because after her father died, Amelia had never felt like she'd gotten what was real.

But after that intense week with the Shepherds, a lot of long ago buried feelings had finally come to surface and Amelia could see things much clearer now.

It really couldn't be a coincidence that she'd had five children, the exact same as the only model of happy family she'd ever had before all that happiness had been surprisingly robbed from her at such a young age.

And now it made perfect sense as to why she'd chased after that exact one dreamy memory her entire life.

Appearances didn't matter. Everything that was important didn't have to be said, it could only be felt. And she already had all of those things. Not in New York, where she'd believed all her life was the only place she could ever get them, but right there in Seattle, with the six people who meant the entire world to her. Love, support, companionship… A real definition of a family. Those were the answers she'd been looking for all along. Luckily for Amelia, they were all there in abundance, very present in every little part of their lives for whoever had enough courage to pay closer attention.

And now, after so much struggling, losing and finally winning, Amelia could safely say she saw them every day showing in plain sight, instead of painfully hiding beneath the surface.


End file.
